Is it normal for my boyfriend to not trust my guy friends?

I have a lot of guy friends who I drink and smoke with, and my boyfriend is really worried about this. He said that he doesn't care that I have guy friends but he doesn't trust them, not me. And I dont believe him. He doesn't want me smoking in the first because he is in the army and apparently it gives him a bad name with his "boys" and I dont know if I should leave him or not

For all the people pretty calling this a guy an asshole who doesn't like me having guy friends, your all wrong and your assumptions are pretty stupid. He always known I have had guy friends and he has always been more than okay with it. At the end of the day he was just concerned for my safety around drunkards who in the end only wanted to fuck me anyways.

Is It Normal?
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  • First of all, girls who have mostly guy friends tend to be cooler to hang out with and way less drama. They also tend to have hooked up with at least one of them at some point, but only jealous little crybabies would have an issue with platonic friends who hooked up before. It happens all the time. I've become good friends with boyfriends of female friends who I formerly hooked up with.

    Him "wanting you smoking" or whatever really isn't any of his buisiness. You think him and all his army buddies don't get wasted whenever they feel like it?

    Sobriety is for repressed people and makes life no fun. You want to live like you're in an army barracks for the rest of your life you're on the right track. asking you to no longer hang out with male friends because of jealousy is the first step that abusers use to isolate the person they want to control. Dump this idiot, hes probably banging whores overseas anyway.

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    • He doesn't drink so, and as your name is SmokeAnything. Your opinion is kind of invalid lol.

      And no. He has never even been overseas and if I was to dump that idiot for that it would be no different to what I think he was doing to me. And just because he lives a sober life doesn't mean he is repressed and no fun, and to be honest just the fact you think that is pretty pathetic. All he was doing is trying to look at for my health and well being and in the end I realized that. He doens't care that I have guy friends. Hes driven me to them before, and he has came and picked me up afterwards and always asked if I had a good time. but he was right anyways. they only wanted me to open my legs in the end.

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      • Wow, I try to help you and you tell me my opinion is invalid. That's not very nice.

        Sober living is a sign of repression and not being fun. Smoking weed isn't bad for your health, and before you were saying the reason he didn't want you smoking with guy friends was because his friends made fun of him for it. If your guy friends were only hanging out cause they wanted to bang you then you just had lousy friends. Don't give up friends for somebody you're dating.

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  • You think you should leave him because he cares about your health and doesnt want drunk men to take advantage of you

    2017 everyone!!

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    • he just sounds insecure af, he keeps saying how I wont be myself when I am drunk and high but I think he just doesnt trust me

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      • If you remain completely normal when you drink and smoke, why drink or smoke?

        If you aren't yourself when you drink or smoke, then clearly your judgement is altered.

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      • The idea of being drunk and stoned is it alters who you are.

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      • Its true , you wont be yourself when ur drunk , do you not agree with that ?

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  • Did you have these friends before you met this guy??? Do not change who you are for someone else. Regardless! Too many people become jealous after a relationship starts, don't let it happen to you!

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    • I totally agree, don't lose your friends over a guy .. god forbid you guys broke up and you had ditched all your friends ..
      He can either accept how you live your life or he can find himself somebody else ..
      Don't change for a guy ..

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  • I see it as a respect thing. If you respect him and the relationship, you won't go out boozing and smoking it up with the boys, b/c you know, damn well, you'll let at least one of them have at you. Especially when alcohol and smokes are involved.

    Be smarter than that, and either stop going out with the boys, which, for one, makes you look like an easy slut, or, if you do socialize with them, hold off on the drinking and smoking. And, TELL them..I'm not going to, b/c I respect my relationship.

    If you're not going to let it be known, and, keep boozing it up and puffing smoke with the boys..Then don't be surprised when Soldier Boy goes elsewhere and leaves your ass. You're acting like an available slut by doing what your doing with the other guys.

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  • you can't change a man, either dump the sex drug and rock and roll or lose the boyfriend. you will lose him im sure of it.

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  • maybe he would be more comfortable if you were just hanging out with your guy friends, not smoking with them. doing things like that can loosen up your inhibitions and make you act in ways that you can't always control, even with the best intentions.

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  • End the relationship.

    1. "I trust you, just not your friends," always means, "I don't trust you to say no when they make a move on you."

    2. You smoke and he doesn't. He'll just nag you until no end, and it's only going to get worse over the years until you quit. If you're going to date a nonsmoker, find someone who will encourage you to quit like you're an adult and willing to be emotional support, not someone who will nag you like your mom or dad, or doesn't mind you smoking.

    3. He's selfish. He asking you to quit smoking, not just for your health but mainly for his reputation. On top of that, he's trying to isolate you from your friends because he's uncomfortable about it and lacks trust for you.

    He may seem like a great guy now, but too many major red flags of jealousy and control in this post. End it.

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    • I went out with them friends and he was completely right on what they was trying to do. And you have seemed to assume how he has tried to make me quit smoking, everyone on this post has just assumed he is an asshole but he is one the sweetest caring people I know. And at the end he was just trying to open my eyes on what they wanted. Good thing I didnt drink or it would have ended badly

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      • Basically, your the worse type of person to give advice to. How so?

        Your main post is talking complete shit about him. In another reply you call him insecure as fuck. Then you have two replies standing up for him. At this point it doesn't matter if he's truly good or bad, because you can't decide that for yourself, which ultimately turns all this into a stubborn girl's rant about how he pissed you off in that moment, but not him overall as a person.

        If he's a good guy, don't be so quick to drag him through the mud.

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  • Do what you want.
    Boyfriends come and go but friends are for ever.

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  • If I was you I would continue to drink and smoke and I wouldn't even be with someone from army at first place...ik its bad :3

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    • to be honest. a soldier is the most loyal and caring man you can get. he has helped me through so much. He just sounds really like he dont trust me

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      • Well....it does give you a bad look if you are drinking and doing drugs with a group of mostly men...most likely sometimes you being the only girl there? If I were him I would be kind of worried too. Honestly, I wouldnt be able to be with a girl like that. Not that I am over bearing or controlling or anything. I just know how drunk guys can get....and I DEFINITELY know how drunk and high girls can get around guys as well.

        Your boyfriend probably thinks about these things all of the time. He doesnt need these worries if he serves over seas for any period of time. Its a stereotype that most military girlfriends/wives will cheat and get away with it while their husbands away...seems to me this relationship isnt going to pan out too well. I could be wrong.. I know I would leave you if I were him. No offense.

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        • No i think shes loyal and trustworthy , because she wants trust from her boyfriend

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