Is it normal for my best friend to act like that or is he gay?

I have this best friend, his name is Jovan. I'm Ryan. The both of us are BOYS. We've been friends for like 4-5 years and keep a really close bond between us. I am gay and I have a huge crush on him, He also sometimes make me think that he feels the same way especially the ways he treat me sometimes.

To start off, he presents himself as very controlling and possessive towards me. For instance, he is very particular about people touching me, both sexes. He would most of the time blame me for "stupidly allowing it". There was once we were having a group hangout, (the both of us would hangout with 1 other guy and girl). And this guy friend of ours came over and sat on my laps, with Jovan beside me. I could see from my side that he kept glaring at me, waiting for me to push him off. I didn't want to be a party pooper. It was then this guy started to rock on my laps and pretending to moan. Jovan quickly pinched my side, making me jump and eventually throwing him off. He became very bitter against that guy and after the dinner. He pulled me aside to talk to me privately. He stated clearly that he hate it when I have skin ship with others. He also said that only he could touch me.

Jovan was very touchy all along towards me. Like rubbing my inner thighs and resting his hand on my pelvis area. He likes to and will hold my hand and entwine our fingers together when we go for movies or in public when he has the chance, but will always pull away once it gets awkward. We have sleepovers often and he prefers sleeping on my bed which is really crammed up since it's a single bed. He don't mind sharing food with me and always makes me drink his drinks with his bitten straws. The only reasons why I feel a need to ask this question and not just assume that he likes me is because he sometimes call me gay whenever I touch him back. I hope he's not just unknowingly leading me on. I don't even want to think about it.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Your friend ought to stop playing mind games and come out regarding his feelings for you instead of playing with your head and acting jealous, possessive and controlling.

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  • probably gay. you should ask him and have a serious talk with him about being so possessive. If he isn't gay or doesn't like you in that way then he is really just being a bad friend!

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  • Hey Ryan, I'm nineteen and bisexual and I get where you're coming from. Often heterosexual guy friends can became protective, possessive or demanding and I think this is when us non-heterosexual guys are open and have a sensitive or 'feminine' side they become attracted to. It starts of as friendship and then becomes something endearing.

    I understand your uncertainty, not wanting to be lead on. But I'm going to tell you this. Don't get excited, because this doesn't mean he will admit to it or that anything will eventuate from it but he is definitely attracted to you. This boy is jealous and touching you in ways that aren't socially normal. I think this is him having urges to be more physically closer to you.

    Jovan sounds like a guy who may only now be questioning his sexuality. Or he is feeling romantic attraction towards you. Jovan could only be going through a phase, it seems like when he calls you 'gay' he is still being defensive and it might be his feelings are something he can't accept easy. So since you like him, what you can do is talk about it, tell him you like it when he's close to you and drop subtle hints if you want to push things forward.

    Honestly though, talking may not even be necessary. Next time he is touching your inner thighs or rubbing, getting close to you whatever just kiss him. If he recoils and tells you to not do it again tell him to not touch you that way again, because it's sending a misleading message. You don't have to kiss him if that's too much. You can ease into it, like reciprocate his affectionate touches with a meaningful hug.

    Just because he is attracted to you doesn't mean he won't move on out of fear or confusion or get scared away. 'Straight' guys are fickle that way.

    Good luck! My best wishes with you!

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    • Hey! This is really helpful.
      I'm just wondering, would that "test" of kissing him be a bet risking our friendship?
      I'm just afraid that it might turn out bad and I rather be friends with him leading me on than him ignoring me ;/

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      • Understand your fear of maybe turning out bad. I think the suggestion of telling him that you like it when he's close. Nothing forward, just a fact. Hopefully, this will lead to a deeper affection toward your comments and not be too strong of comment to scare him off.
        He has affection for you, you should have the chance to tell him that you have affection for him as well, just in a subtle way. Good luck and don't get nervous.

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  • I'm not sure he has a crush on you. Many straight sure of their sexuality might get very protective if they have a gay friend. I've seen it before. Don't get mistaken about just because he his affectionate with you and no problem with that. He might put an arm around your shoulder, touch your leg and much more without having any crush on you. Just protective kind of guy that thinks you are fragile. Nothing else.
    Be careful with that. Don't ruin a nice relation.
    Latin men, Mediterranean men not Latinos as some people says in some places in the net under a certain terminology can be very affectionate and means nothing.
    Mediterranean guys do touch each other and they are straight, real macho guys. His a culture matter.
    Some foreigners coming over here think many of us are gay coz of the way we treat each other and they are wrong when they think we are gay looking at this kind of behavior.
    I live in Europe and guys here kiss each other and nobody takes them for gay. In the cheek of course.
    The same way people from the states find this strange and gay we do find quite strange parents kissing their children in the mouth. That's to be seen in almost any american movie. I'm sure it's not incest but a culture thing.

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  • He clearly has a crush on you. Maybe you should confront him?

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  • He's gay.

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  • Ask him if it is okay if you suck him off...then you will know and maybe he will suck your little cock too!

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  • Let us know what you do and what you decided to tell him. We are all interested of course. Good luck.

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