Is it normal for men to withdraw totally after casual sex?

62% Normal
32 Comments

I recently had casual sex (one night and the following afternoon) with a bloke I hardly knew but was attracted to. Before we had sex he was very communicative and into some kissing and cuddling but then it became just sex with no such trimmings and afterwards hardly any talking, in fact he got up and started getting dressed to leave both times with no conversation at all.

The sex itself was good, but I felt somewhat used, especially as he took my phone number when I gave it but said "not right now" when I asked for his.

I wasn't looking for a relationship and obviously neither was he, but is this type of bad manners common? Some of my women friends say it is, others say not. If it is common, I think I'll stick to women from now on, in my experience they have better manners even when it's casual sex.

He's not young and inexperienced by the way, if that makes any difference and certainly not shy by the way he made it clear the attraction was mutual.

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Comments ( 32 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • AlligatorMasturbator
    6 years ago | pl

    Damn Ellenna I wish that was me baging you instead, I would give you a much better time

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  • deucee
    6 years ago | pl

    Please don't post questions about casual sex and then blame all men for being abusive rapists. You are attracting that sort of attention by being a gross, fat old lady desperately looking for sex and playing the role of a victim.

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    • Ellenna
      6 years ago | pl

      When did I blame all men for being abusive rapists? On the contrary I know most men are no such thing and I have many male friends. I am old and a bit fat, but not gross and definitely NOT a lady!

      AND I AM NOT A VICTIM, I AM VERY DEFINITELY A SURVIVOR or I wouldn't be able to continue living in the same town as the man who raped me.

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  • Tealights
    6 years ago | pl

    It's normal for men and women. Casual sex is purely meant to just use the other person for sexual needs. There shouldn't be any conversations unless you two want to start a Friends With Benefits, which should be discussed before sex or maybe immediately after if it was really good. Cuddling shouldn't even happen, becuase... why?

    There's no proper etiquette for one night stands. You get in, do your business, and get out. If you meet someone who is nice, then enjoy it and perhaps see if they want a Friends With Benefits arrangement, but don't foolishly think that there's more to a one night stand than sex. Just be thankful he's not some crazy stalker/killer.

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  • jsnpq
    6 years ago | pl

    Yeah, he got what he came for. Mission accomplished, no need to pretend like he gives a shit now.

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    • Ellenna
      6 years ago | pl

      Well he was very good at pretending he was interested in me as a person BEFORE he got what he came for. I honestly thought men grew out of that sort of adolescent behaviour but apparently not, in his case it's survived into his 60's.

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  • randypete
    6 years ago | pl

    it was a fuck not romance

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    • Ellenna
      6 years ago | pl

      I was not expecting or wanting romance, only ordinary good manners

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  • mrbrownfinger6
    6 years ago | pl

    If all you have to offer him is a fuck, why would he want to hang around after he's finished?

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    • Ellenna
      6 years ago | pl

      I can assure you I have a lot more to offer than just a fuck, just as I assumed he did, based on our pre-sex interaction.

      How would he have known what I have to offer if he didn't hang around and why assume that's the reason he didn't? Oh sorry, of course I forgot, male bad behaviour would have to be because of some lack in the woman, wouldn't it, nothing to do with him?

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      • mrbrownfinger6
        6 years ago | pl

        Look at the comments. It must be your fault and nothing to do with the guy.

        He used you, you let him. How does that make you feel about yourself?

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        • Ellenna
          6 years ago | pl

          Well actually I reckon we were using each other: we both wanted a fuck and we both got one. I don't think I'm weird for wanting some good manners as well.

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  • riffraffy
    6 years ago | pl

    Very smart man who knows his value isn't in sex, but his commitment. By making his commitment difficult to obtain he only increases his value.

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    • Ellenna
      6 years ago | pl

      Not to me, in fact his behavior totally DECREASED his "value" as anyone I want to be sexually involved with again. My post made it clear I wasn't after commitment, only respect and ordinary good manners.

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      • riffraffy
        6 years ago | pl

        I understand better now. His actions suggest he's ashamed of you. Like how us guys have sex with fat (or in this case, old) chicks but we sure don't brag about it.

        I think your sexual value isn't as high as you believe.

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        • Ellenna
          6 years ago | pl

          I don't think of myself in terms of having high or low or medium "sexual value" (whatever the fuck that means) except when I'm working and then I'm worth 70c a minute.

          I didn't expect him to brag about it, only to have ordinary everyday manners

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  • smallcock
    6 years ago | pl

    Sounds like he comes from the find them, feel them, fuck them, and forget them school of love making.

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    • Ellenna
      6 years ago | pl

      Yeah, but I wouldn't call it lovemaking, nor is that what I expected. I've pretty much forgotten him and he certainly wouldn't get a repeat fuck from me: I'm just wondering how common this sort of behavior is in males?

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  • bucketfullofassholes
    6 years ago | pl

    How did those saggy balls and dick taste?

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  • xfg30
    6 years ago | pl

    He gave you an std and now finds you disgusting

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    • Ellenna
      6 years ago | pl

      Well no, he was at least responsible enough to practise safe sex, not that he would've got anywhere with me if he hadn't

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    • Carlton03
      6 years ago | pl

      Lol, yeah that's the risk for dirty people for like to fuck around... some fuckin deserve one to be honest

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      • Ellenna
        6 years ago | pl

        There was no risk of STI, neither of us are "dirty" and I don't fuck around: this is the first time I've had sex since I was raped over 6 years ago.

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        • Carlton03
          6 years ago | pl

          Sorry to hear about the rape, I hope THE prick got caught and convicted and is rotting in jail...

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          • Ellenna
            6 years ago | pl

            Unfortunately not, still lives in the same town as me and has been getting away with rape, stalking & sexual assault (including of young girls) for 40 years. Still stalking me too, in spite of an Intervention Order which the cops refuse to enforce.

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        • Carlton03
          6 years ago | pl

          There's always a risk... condoms can slip off or break, you can contract STIs through oral and even kissing if the person has been involved in oral recently...

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