Is it normal for me to want to be like my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend?

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My girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, Charlie (not his name, but it is for the sake of this question), hurt her pretty bad, emotionally. Charlie has a perplexing pesonality: he is very emotional, unstable, and can often be violent and threatening. At the same time, he is charming, funny, and knows how to talk to women. By some miracle or another, he can get anyone he wants. For proof, my girlfriend is a straight-edge girl who hates drugs and alcohol. She only likes the preppy-boy or nerdy/band-geek type of guy, and was all she ever dated before him. Charlie, on the other hand, was part of the emo scene. He drank and smoked all the time. Somehow, over the course of 8 months, his conquest got her to fall in love with him, which lead her to give him her virginity (which she wanted to save until marriage). After realizing that he was only using her, since he slept with another girl about 6 hours later, she left him - albeit, with much difficulty - my help.

My story: I've always been a social pariah. I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to talk to people, much less women. I don't say or do the right things in social situations. I'm an awkward, under-appreciated, under-sexed shrill. And after meeting countless people, I'm convinced that I'm the only one on the planet who is like this. I mean, all my girlfriends were accidents, including my current. Most of them ended up with them cheating on me and leaving. Just as bad, I wasn't even going to get laid until marriage with my current girlfriend because I'm a "nice guy." Actually, not I'm not even the nice guy who finishes last, because apparently I am an a**hole most of the time and don't even realize it (it's the times too that I am trying to stand up for myself, like what I would think alpha males would do, that people stop talking to me and say I'm an a**hole). So here's my question then:

Is it normal for me to want to be like my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend? He gets what he wants, when he wants it. Even if his intentions are evil, it must be exciting to know that you are in that level of control. To think that if you wanted, you could find that woman you always dreamed of and actually stay with her, while people like me fall to the wayside. I mean, the level of oppression that I have felt being on the bottom of the totem pole actually made me want to cheat on my girlfriend, just to feel a little bit of the power that others have now. A inferiority complex, you know?

I know that being like him would make me just as horrible a person. But at the same time, I'm apparently already a horrible person, just one who gets sh*t on 24/7. I want to start reading pick-up artist and alpha male literature so that I can actually become a real man, but I would like to ask all of you alpha men, bad girls, and goody two-shoes out there if what I want is normal?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 6 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • animalcracker
    13 years ago | pl

    Same thing with me.. Im not much of a talker, and with girls even worse. I have "friends" but they dont talk to me, so there not really my friends. Bro just look at ur past and learn from the mistakes youve made with ur girls and friends, thats what im trying to do so i can become a better person. Good luck.

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  • BurningCity1131
    8 years ago | pl

    I'm a female (hai ^.^ guys) and I mean I'm a quiet person (Sometimes) but other times I'm loud and I am totally bitchy at times and think that maybe you could just have a week where you act like the person you want to be and if it doesn't work then try a different persona and once you find what you're looking for and enjoy it, stick with it because you only know what works for you once you experience it. Oh and cheating on your girlfriend isn't the answer if you don't like her breakup with her not her heart. Good Luck!!

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  • GalacticEgg
    13 years ago | pl

    http://www.bristollair.com/inner-game/nature-and-reality/the-truth-about-women.html

    Provided a link if anyone's interested, although I don't recommend utilizing PUA techniques or following the philosophy if you genuinely want a real, deep relationship with a stable and mentally sound woman...but, if you just want some putang from insecure, shallow, bitchy girls then the techniques will almost certainly work for you; as you've witnessed with your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, girls seem to love to be abused on some level, and if not abused, then objectified.

    Personally, as a girl who is very much "herself" and cannot identify at all with what The "Modern" Woman has become at the encouragement of the media, each other, and "modern feminism" -- insipid, histrionic non-individuals, basically little girls with bigger tits, shorter skirts, and more makeup -- I really advise you to just not get caught up in that world. Perhaps you would be satisfied, but it seems like you're much too genuine to feel contented with just getting laid all the time. You would find that simply being yourself and attracting women who are similar to you, possessing some intellect, some depth, some sense of honor, will help you grow the most yourself and feel so much better than playing the abusive, manipulative games that permeate modern dating practices.

    Also, in the day and age of internet addictions and impersonal technological communication (like this), your general social skills are quite normal, albeit not exactly healthy.

    For the record, now only 2/4 people have answered your question sober. :)

    Sastime and good luck.

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  • oquenbe
    14 years ago | pl

    listen if everybody was fucking each other and so open minded then 1 of 2 things would have happened by now either we would all have std's or we would have passed health care reform by now my point is this: don't be so gullible and question want you think you believe in its seems like everyone wants to be a part of this image or group that is well "cool" for lack of a shittier word now it seems like your a good kid do yourself a favor and go at our own pace don't envy someone else's stupidity i guarantee you that by doing this you will just make yourself have unwanted memories that make you want to decapitate yourself once you think about them
    i might have gone off topic or not even have answer your question (granted i didn't read the whole story and I'm a little wasted) but i hope i did go a little deeper and embrace you in a different direction/perspective of thought

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago | pl

    Actually it sounds to me like you hang around a lot of crappy people and might consider trading up on your friends including the creep you admire so. Maybe then you wouldn't be filled with the kind of self loathing and confused by the false values that pre-occupy you. Just a suggestion.

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  • funguy812
    14 years ago | pl

    shit dude i know what you mean, i cant tell you how normal it is but i'll tell you that youre not the only one im the same fucking way socially, its pretty annoying, but idk i dont strive to be a douche because if you think about it theres no point youre not gonna be truly happy unless you be yourself, take it further with your gf next time, i suck at making moves too, but just do it and you'll probly satisfy your want to be in control

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