Inferiority complex? I think that's why most body-builders who go "too far" do it. I'm not trying to sound dismissive here, as it's your body. It's great that you want to do something for yourself that isn't stereotypically girlie, but going so far as to get implants to look bigger? - That's hedging on ridiculous.
You have to realize that caring so much about the way you look is vanity, and morphing your body with silicon is clearly an obsessive idea. Being fit and healthy should be the real goal here, not taking up as much space as possible. The urges you have to look "huge" are quite animalistic, as modern humans don't need to maximize physical might to gain maximal respect and admiration. We're not hunter-gatherers anymore. You don't have to be the alpha-female/male to be appreciated. You have to realize your thinking is irrational, and try to find out what you really want; what you really need to satisfy yourself, 'cause, trust me, you'll never be satisfied no matter how big you get if you keep going like this.
Is it normal for me to want to be huge
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Inferiority complex? I think that's why most body-builders who go "too far" do it. I'm not trying to sound dismissive here, as it's your body. It's great that you want to do something for yourself that isn't stereotypically girlie, but going so far as to get implants to look bigger? - That's hedging on ridiculous.
You have to realize that caring so much about the way you look is vanity, and morphing your body with silicon is clearly an obsessive idea. Being fit and healthy should be the real goal here, not taking up as much space as possible. The urges you have to look "huge" are quite animalistic, as modern humans don't need to maximize physical might to gain maximal respect and admiration. We're not hunter-gatherers anymore. You don't have to be the alpha-female/male to be appreciated. You have to realize your thinking is irrational, and try to find out what you really want; what you really need to satisfy yourself, 'cause, trust me, you'll never be satisfied no matter how big you get if you keep going like this.