It sounds to me like he's trying to get in touch with his incredibly vague memory so that he can better understand it. I'm not sure if you've ever been sexually assaulted, but what happens when you're sexually assaulted is you are immediately confused, shocked, and scared. If he doesn't remember the incident, he could very well be reliving those feelings without any way of understanding why he feels that way. Watching gay porn helps him recreate that environment safely so that he can better confront the memory of it and start understanding his feelings. His NOT GAY feelings.
It's very unlikely that he's gay just because he thought he might've liked it- that's simply just his way of trying to gain some of the control he lost when that happened to him. It's much easier to believe you gave sex away, however unwillingly, than it is to know someone took it from you.
He really needs therapy for this. This is something that will never stop bothering him even when he realizes he's not gay.
You need to also realize he's not gay so that you can confront what the real issue is- Rape. Your boyfriend was raped by another man and now he's not himself. You cannot make him feel ashamed of watching gay porn when it's for the purpose of coming to grips with a trauma. It'll only make him feel more ashamed of what happened to him and further cause him to blame himself. You should also consider counseling so that you can better learn how to cope with his outbursts and anxieties, rather than help fuel them.
Is it normal for me to think my boyfriend is bi?
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It sounds to me like he's trying to get in touch with his incredibly vague memory so that he can better understand it. I'm not sure if you've ever been sexually assaulted, but what happens when you're sexually assaulted is you are immediately confused, shocked, and scared. If he doesn't remember the incident, he could very well be reliving those feelings without any way of understanding why he feels that way. Watching gay porn helps him recreate that environment safely so that he can better confront the memory of it and start understanding his feelings. His NOT GAY feelings.
It's very unlikely that he's gay just because he thought he might've liked it- that's simply just his way of trying to gain some of the control he lost when that happened to him. It's much easier to believe you gave sex away, however unwillingly, than it is to know someone took it from you.
He really needs therapy for this. This is something that will never stop bothering him even when he realizes he's not gay.
You need to also realize he's not gay so that you can confront what the real issue is- Rape. Your boyfriend was raped by another man and now he's not himself. You cannot make him feel ashamed of watching gay porn when it's for the purpose of coming to grips with a trauma. It'll only make him feel more ashamed of what happened to him and further cause him to blame himself. You should also consider counseling so that you can better learn how to cope with his outbursts and anxieties, rather than help fuel them.