Is it normal for me to regret not losing my virginity to him?

76% Normal
7 Comments

My boyfriend of 1 year and 2 months broke up with me Wednesday night, of course, I'm absolutely heartbroken and devastated. He did it because we just weren't the same as we used to be, and we've both changed too much and he just didn't want a relationship anymore. It's safe to say I've never been more upset in my life, the guy that I love has just disappeared from my life, and is never coming back.

Now, I spent a year being a prude and kept wanting to sleep with him but never actually did, because of different reasons, I felt I was too young (16) I'm self conscious, just out of sheet awkwardness also. And I just never felt 'ready'
But I really wish I had done it when I had the chance, because I wanted him to be my first and I wanted me to be his. We didn't really do much at all.

Also, can I just add that he never once pressured me, so don't assume that he dumped me because he wasn't getting any, or at least I don't think so.

I feel like the next guy I meet won't be a virgin and I've only ever wanted a guy who is, or he'll be turned off at the fact that I waited a year to even think about sex. Is this normal to feel regret for NOT having sex with him?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 102 votes (78 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Wnjlcsw69
    10 years ago

    Yes it is normal.
    From a bright assumption
    You obviously loved your ex boyfriend. Regretting you didn't is just reflecting that your body urges tell you they believed he was worth making a baby with. Your hesitation to have sex was your well to taught self respect for your body in the "non jungle" world were you can only successfully have living sex and if you want indeed a child in a committed relationship. You have been taught to have a high , very high level of commitment that is to have.
    Or
    From a dark assumption
    Yes it is normal
    You obviously loved your ex boyfriend. Regretting you didn't is just reflecting that your body urges now tell you they believed he was safe making a baby with him. Your hesitation to have sex was then your possible fear of being abused or rejected right after you would have had sex. keeping sex away made you hope he would not hurt you or made you hope he would stay working and waiting. Your well to taught unrealistic survival mechanism protected you from possible be re-traumatized. You have been taught to somehow to put self protection and fear of being hurt above accepting the joy of relationships and feeling lived happy

    No matter what in the bright or dark assumption I (probable make an )ass (out of) u (and) me

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  • Cobaltgum18
    10 years ago

    I think you should be grateful, not to sound rude or anything. I just mean that you should be grateful that the you didn't sleep with him because it would probably hurt ten times worse if you had. Especially at your age.

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  • patriot071592
    10 years ago

    It's normal. I'm sorry for your loss. I can undersand how you're feeling. Don't feel pressured to lose it asap. Where I come from, 16 is a tad bit young to lose it, but it's not uncommon in other areas. I know a lot of girls who didn't lose their virginity until their college years. Ima dude and I would love to train a virgin. Some guys out there are complete jerks for not wanting to go out with virgins. They're douchebags and you don't want them. I understand the pressure you are probably going through in and around school. Kids act as if sex is the most important thing in the world, but it isn't. I'm sure you will find a nice young man who will be happy to please you. At least you have relationship experience because that really helps. It's not like you're a junior in college and have never been kissed.

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  • eila
    10 years ago

    Same thing happened to a friend of mine when we were your age. She totally regretted it and it was really sad, especially as she then had sex with some randomer at a party that she'd known for about an hour and that was how she lost her virginity. It will be okay though, you'll meet and fall in love with someone else and then you can lose your virginity when you are ready.

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  • Thatguy777
    10 years ago

    Well you could date me. I've never even kissed a girl so I'm like a super virgin. I'm surprised I haven't been sacrificed yet. Forreal though, you shouldn't regret not losing it to him. In the end he ditched you anyway. I believe that sex was meant for you and your soulmate only, but we're all so fucking horny that we can't wait that long.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Wow. I'd think it's quite normal.
    But I would like to suggest that you not go with a guy who is also a virgin the first time. This is the time when you should go with an experienced person, really. Two virgins, stumbling around sex is unlikely to be a very good experience for you.
    I am not saying just go out and get laid, not at all. But allow yourself the opportunity to meet and fall in love with an experienced lover; someone who will introduce you to sex with gentleness, passion and knowledge. Someone who will insure that you enjoy the experience, as much as possible.

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  • White___October
    10 years ago

    I'm sorry to hear your relationship didn't last, but there's nothing you can do about that. Such is life and you'll just have to live with it.

    16 is not too young to have sex, I was 13 myself when I first did it. But of course you got to be ready for it and since you were not I can't blame you.

    The thought that a guy will be turned off by the fact that you waited for over a year to have sex is absolute bullshit! Yes, your next partner will probably not be a virgin anymore. He'll be experienced, wich only leads to better sex. But of course you should not hold it back when you got a chance.

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