Is it normal for me to feel this way

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16 Comments

I've been having a real battle with my attraction. I consider myself bisexual, but I feel weird. I've masturbated to guys and have fantasized about guys before just to get off. I really only like guys that look a certain way (Kinda like someone who likes older woman or prefers a woman of specific color) and 95% of the time thought of him having sex with a beautiful girl. I don't like all that love and serious relationship when it comes to men. I've even been finding them less attractive then normally. I've always been interested in girls though. Thought about having girlfriends before and watching more adult woman videos. I've recently obtained more of a physical attraction to girls, but whether or not my arousal is on the same level as men changes which also drives me crazy. This mourning I had a wonderful fantasy about this beautiful girl in bed with me. But as time went by it became more difficult to fantasy about her or anyone. I believe I may have erectile dysfunction for my young age since I'm never 100% "solid". I've been feeling really depressed/apathetic lately also because of this confusion. I don't understand why I'm more sexually attracted to one yet would rather be other.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 16 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago | pl

    how old are you?

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    • MisterSatan
      12 years ago | pl

      Oh and btw, I saw your profile. I'm a huge NIN fan. :) Just would like you to know. The Downward Spiral and The Fragile are some of my favorite albums.

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      • AngAnders112
        12 years ago | pl

        it's sad that I just discovered them
        less than a year ago, but I'm sooo glad i did!

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      • MisterSatan
        12 years ago | pl

        Shit, I didn't mean to say I didn't want women in that first response, I meant I do. I'm trying to force myself.

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        • AngAnders112
          12 years ago | pl

          ah, but see why do you feel you have to *force* yourself to do anything?

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          • MisterSatan
            12 years ago | pl

            I don't feel as if I'm trying force myself to like something...If I was gay or straight I'd accept, but I just don't feel like either, like I'm stuck in between but leaning back and forth to each other. I don't want to stop liking either, I've always liked both.

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            • AngAnders112
              12 years ago | pl

              I can definitely see how your situation would be frustrating for you. you're still somewhat young though. My sexual tastes changed a lot when I was your age. I think you still have plenty of time to figure things out.

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    • MisterSatan
      12 years ago | pl

      This is weird too, because now I feel like I'm more calm and I seem more attracted to woman and ignore the other. It's not that I hate anything about either of them and even though I'm more attracted to one I just don't want to say no to the other knowing I may not be as aroused and I would feel like a disappointment to the girl. I just want both and I feel my mind is always messing with me.

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    • MisterSatan
      12 years ago | pl

      Almost in my late teens.

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      • AngAnders112
        12 years ago | pl

        you're still young enuff that you can change your mind several times and experiment tons and tons!

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  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago | pl

    Why do you not want a relationship with a man?

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    • MisterSatan
      12 years ago | pl

      Friendship yeah, but a full on relationship just doesn't make me feel comfortable. I'd rather be in a relationship with a woman.

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  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago | pl

    I think a lot of bisexual guys and gals have been in the same boat. sexuality is t also black and weight and for many bisexuals isn't not always 50/50. you shouldn't let it get to you. don't try to force yourself to be attracted to certain things. experiment with others to better determine exactly what you do and don't like. fantasies are often very very different than the real thing.

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    • MisterSatan
      12 years ago | pl

      I'm just so confused... I don't want women but I'm not as aroused as I could be with men and I don't want a real relationship with a man, it drives me crazy. I sometimes think I'm going through a psychological battle with myself.

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