You are just looking for what you think would match best according to how you feel about them. I won't be explaining the many reasons and psychological mechanisms that got you locked into this in the first place, all I am gonna say is: it is normal. Considering the social environment that nurtured you and significantly contributed to forming your personality. Perhaps what attracts you the most is knowing they won't get all attached to you. Since you are the kind of person who needs "personal space" and an on and off type of affectiveness.
Is it normal for me to fall harder for an asshole?
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You are just looking for what you think would match best according to how you feel about them. I won't be explaining the many reasons and psychological mechanisms that got you locked into this in the first place, all I am gonna say is: it is normal. Considering the social environment that nurtured you and significantly contributed to forming your personality. Perhaps what attracts you the most is knowing they won't get all attached to you. Since you are the kind of person who needs "personal space" and an on and off type of affectiveness.