Sadly there are still some Christian homosexuals who are firm believers that it is a sin to be homosexual. For them, they can't be themselves, they have to always pretend to be someone they're not, or they turn a blind eye towards their homosexuality and deny it. Feelings of self blame, self hatred, confusion, isolation, guilt. Denial of sexuality, bullied for being different but not knowing how or why it's them, gossiped about by others behind their backs, rejected... It's horrible to face all that everyday, and it gets tiresome to have to pretend to be straight. For example, wouldn't you become tired having to smile all the time even when you're not happy or in the mood?
Some marry the opposite sex but have an unhappy marriage or a marriage that lacks satisfaction from husband and wife. Some don't go into any relationship at all because they know going into a relationship with the opposite sex wouldn't work out- and thus, being considerate of others but neglecting themselves, they stay single and continue in maintaining that they are straight while they're not.
And some, the pressure to turn straight coming from family, friends, community, church, and themselves becomes too much too handle. They would have tried to change desperately before hand, because they think homosexuality is a sin, a sickness, and they hate that they are a living sin. The thing is, after a while of trying with all their mite to change, they discover they can't change, that nothing they do is working. Frustration, despair, hopelessness, more self hatred. Not being able to live with being a homosexual, living with the belief that because they are homosexual that they are sick and wouldn't be able to stop sinning, they kill themselves, or go about their lives a shell of their former self, or pretend everything is fine and pretend they are heterosexual while knowing they aren't.
There isn't a switch one could flick on or off to be homosexual or heterosexual. Our sexuality really isn't a choice. We're really born the way we are. However, what is a choice is how we lead our lives. The choice for a homosexual to lead a heterosexual life is not a happy one and it's understandable as to why that is so. You try pretending to be homosexual for a year and see how that feels, how difficult it is to maintain. You wouldn't last a week. It's exactly the same feeling and difficulty for a homosexual to pretend to be a heterosexual. It's not right to pretend. Life shouldn't be experienced in such a way. We need to be authentic to others as well as ourselves. We need to be ourselves.
It's not about pretending to change, it's about true inner change, which will not make them uncomfortable. You can't PRETEND to be a certain way and think it won't affect you mentally over a period of time. And like I said, all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. Not, all things are possible if I pretend like they are so.
Oh, I see what you're saying. I'd say they're in denial. Wouldn't it be called that? If they knew or discovered that they have a leaning towards the same sex but ignore and/or repress it, they're in denial?
Anyway, as I said before, I know there are some homosexuals who firmly believe they are straight and lead a straight life, believing that their homosexuality is just a phase... I think it is possible that there are people who go about their lives being positive that they were born heterosexuals and probably, yes, they are able to keep with the mentality that they are straight and that is all. Some maybe successful. Some may not be so successful and they struggle maintaining it.
I think that those who are able to change (or at least believe they have changed) and identity as heterosexual are those who aren't preoccupied with their sexuality, have no reason to dwell over it because their homosexuality isn't majorly present or don't need to worry about their sexuality. That's the only way I see it being possible. They have this vision of how their life is supposed to go and stick to it because they want it. You know, to finish school, get a job, have a career, marry someone of the opposite sex, have children, raise a family, and all of that while having firm control over their 'homosexual tendencies'. They may struggle with repressing and eliminating their homosexuality though because it is part of them. Since life isn't easy and what we plan sometimes doesn't go according to plan, their sexuality may come into question in unexpected situations. They would thus try to avoid such occurrences and brush the matter to the side, thinking 'what's life without a bit of struggle?'.
We also have to take into account that sexuality is fluid, that there are different levels of sexuality. So there are people who are extremely homosexual, and leading a heterosexual life would be impossible; people who are extremely heterosexual who would lead heterosexual lives easily; people who are in between; and then there are people who aren't sexual anything. I think only those who have only slight homosexual leanings would be able to change without being extremely uncomfortable with it. But I don't think those who are on the high scale of homosexuality would be able to lead a life of heterosexuality successfully. Those are the ones who would blame and hate themselves; feel guilty, depressed and angst over them 'living a sin' and unable to change even if they wanted to so much.
I still believe that we are born the way we are, that being homosexual or heterosexual isn't a choice. That God has his reasons to make all of us different in small and huge ways.
I don't think it's a matter of should they change. If they want to, they'll try. It's whether they could change that is the question. While some could, many can't.
So yes, normal for you to think they should/could but I don't fully agree. We're all entitled to have different opinions of course. :) I'm no way promoting homosexuals to lead heterosexual lives against their will because it's really their decision how they decide to lead their lives. They can do what they believe is right and that's fine by me as long as they're happy with their choice of living.
IIN for me 2 believe homosexuals should convert to heterosexuality?
← View full post
Sadly there are still some Christian homosexuals who are firm believers that it is a sin to be homosexual. For them, they can't be themselves, they have to always pretend to be someone they're not, or they turn a blind eye towards their homosexuality and deny it. Feelings of self blame, self hatred, confusion, isolation, guilt. Denial of sexuality, bullied for being different but not knowing how or why it's them, gossiped about by others behind their backs, rejected... It's horrible to face all that everyday, and it gets tiresome to have to pretend to be straight. For example, wouldn't you become tired having to smile all the time even when you're not happy or in the mood?
Some marry the opposite sex but have an unhappy marriage or a marriage that lacks satisfaction from husband and wife. Some don't go into any relationship at all because they know going into a relationship with the opposite sex wouldn't work out- and thus, being considerate of others but neglecting themselves, they stay single and continue in maintaining that they are straight while they're not.
And some, the pressure to turn straight coming from family, friends, community, church, and themselves becomes too much too handle. They would have tried to change desperately before hand, because they think homosexuality is a sin, a sickness, and they hate that they are a living sin. The thing is, after a while of trying with all their mite to change, they discover they can't change, that nothing they do is working. Frustration, despair, hopelessness, more self hatred. Not being able to live with being a homosexual, living with the belief that because they are homosexual that they are sick and wouldn't be able to stop sinning, they kill themselves, or go about their lives a shell of their former self, or pretend everything is fine and pretend they are heterosexual while knowing they aren't.
There isn't a switch one could flick on or off to be homosexual or heterosexual. Our sexuality really isn't a choice. We're really born the way we are. However, what is a choice is how we lead our lives. The choice for a homosexual to lead a heterosexual life is not a happy one and it's understandable as to why that is so. You try pretending to be homosexual for a year and see how that feels, how difficult it is to maintain. You wouldn't last a week. It's exactly the same feeling and difficulty for a homosexual to pretend to be a heterosexual. It's not right to pretend. Life shouldn't be experienced in such a way. We need to be authentic to others as well as ourselves. We need to be ourselves.
--
Anonymous Post Author
11 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
It's not about pretending to change, it's about true inner change, which will not make them uncomfortable. You can't PRETEND to be a certain way and think it won't affect you mentally over a period of time. And like I said, all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. Not, all things are possible if I pretend like they are so.
--
pondford
11 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Oh, I see what you're saying. I'd say they're in denial. Wouldn't it be called that? If they knew or discovered that they have a leaning towards the same sex but ignore and/or repress it, they're in denial?
Anyway, as I said before, I know there are some homosexuals who firmly believe they are straight and lead a straight life, believing that their homosexuality is just a phase... I think it is possible that there are people who go about their lives being positive that they were born heterosexuals and probably, yes, they are able to keep with the mentality that they are straight and that is all. Some maybe successful. Some may not be so successful and they struggle maintaining it.
I think that those who are able to change (or at least believe they have changed) and identity as heterosexual are those who aren't preoccupied with their sexuality, have no reason to dwell over it because their homosexuality isn't majorly present or don't need to worry about their sexuality. That's the only way I see it being possible. They have this vision of how their life is supposed to go and stick to it because they want it. You know, to finish school, get a job, have a career, marry someone of the opposite sex, have children, raise a family, and all of that while having firm control over their 'homosexual tendencies'. They may struggle with repressing and eliminating their homosexuality though because it is part of them. Since life isn't easy and what we plan sometimes doesn't go according to plan, their sexuality may come into question in unexpected situations. They would thus try to avoid such occurrences and brush the matter to the side, thinking 'what's life without a bit of struggle?'.
We also have to take into account that sexuality is fluid, that there are different levels of sexuality. So there are people who are extremely homosexual, and leading a heterosexual life would be impossible; people who are extremely heterosexual who would lead heterosexual lives easily; people who are in between; and then there are people who aren't sexual anything. I think only those who have only slight homosexual leanings would be able to change without being extremely uncomfortable with it. But I don't think those who are on the high scale of homosexuality would be able to lead a life of heterosexuality successfully. Those are the ones who would blame and hate themselves; feel guilty, depressed and angst over them 'living a sin' and unable to change even if they wanted to so much.
I still believe that we are born the way we are, that being homosexual or heterosexual isn't a choice. That God has his reasons to make all of us different in small and huge ways.
I don't think it's a matter of should they change. If they want to, they'll try. It's whether they could change that is the question. While some could, many can't.
So yes, normal for you to think they should/could but I don't fully agree. We're all entitled to have different opinions of course. :) I'm no way promoting homosexuals to lead heterosexual lives against their will because it's really their decision how they decide to lead their lives. They can do what they believe is right and that's fine by me as long as they're happy with their choice of living.