Is it normal for hindu man to just break rel. with white woman

Hi:

If anyone can give me any information I would appreciate it.

I was involved with a Hindu man who lives in India who is much younger than me. I am a white Christian, divorced mother living in the US. We started as friends, but became much more serious over time to the point he was going to be moving to the US soon. He did not tell his parents about me, said he would do that when he came here. He would tell them he was coming here to work. He claims he lives more like the West, he lives in New Delhi, dated, lives with his brother. He said his mother would pick out someone for him to marry before we were involved as he is at the age he should marry. 27 I told him from the start this would not work and he insisted his parents were not like that so we made plans I rearranged my life. 2 weeks ago he was going to tell his brother everything, he only knew we were very close. I was supposed to call him at a certain time and he never picked up the phone. That was Sat. morning. When I talked to him on Monday, he said he could not marry me and said he did not want to say why. He was very close to my daughter and she wanted to talk to him. He told her he loves her mommy but cannot marry her. She asked why and he said his job. Now, that was not the case. The next thing he said is he does not want to talk to me anymore and not to call him. He has not responded to any calls nor emails I sent him. I asked him to please email my daughter as this has caused many problems. In fact, I was supposed to be going to India the following week and he said I can meet his brother but not his parents.

My question is if this is true, which at this point, I don't believe he ever meant anything, why would he just cut me out of his life with no explanation and never talk to me again. My daughter and he knew this was sick over this and I asked him to please talk to her and she will probably tell you she will pray for you and she won't be mad. Still nothing. He told me he will come here and we will be together 4 ever no one would change his mind he makes his own decisions and he wanted to treat my daughter as his own. The marriage plans were down the road.

Is there anything to do with his customs/religions that would make him act this way to just shut someone out with no explanation and be so nasty. Like is it a sin or something or does his customs/religion make him think he should act this way in order to be forgiven because maybe it is a sin to date me. I don't know I am asking someone please that knows about this to explain.

I have never heard of anything like this in my life. It makes me think he lied from the start, but if he did, he is the best I have ever seen.

Thank you

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Based on 34 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • smuffle

    Uhm, excuse me, towel head????? Ignorant, much?

    First of all, it's probably his culture and not his religion, and South Asian parents do normally arrange marriages for their children (generally to people of the same culture), although this is by no means true for everyone. My guess is, he wanted to get out of all that but now that his family knows he's backed down because they threatened to cut him off or something. The fact that you are older and have a daughter might also be an issue for his parents.

    I'm not going to advise you on what to do in this situation because I honestly don't know; if he wants to talk to you again, he'll talk to you, but don't count on it. You may also want to get informed about his culture, religion and social status (which is very important in India), just to try to understand what might be going on.

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  • rayst

    I think all hope is lost. Good luck and quick recovery!

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  • JustDave

    It's possible that he really loved you but I think he is afraid to stand up to his parents, fearing their reaction or he already got their reaction. If they were going to pick out a wife for him...do you think it would be anyone other than an Indian girl of their faith? Its a difficult situation for you & him to be in.

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  • schima3

    His parents would probably not agree that he should marry somebody that has a child already, he probably loves you but his parents might not agree about the relationship/marriage. It has to do with the customs/religion. The parents arrange the marriages for their children at a younger age. He's probably scared about the future. The divorce rate is extremely low in India comparing to USA. I'm from Europe.

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    • vishva

      schima3 , you seems to quite good in human behavior and relations.

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  • LadyJay303

    He probably told his brother about it and his brother probably flipped out, thus making it obviously that his parents would flip out even more. He probably told him how he was sinning and all that. Also, he is probably scared shitless now that the time was coming to make all the arrangements for a new life and he realized he couldn't do it. Having the security of a long distance relationship most likely gave him a false sense of manliness/control. hes just a gross towel head. get an american man. Just get over it. I know it hurts but he's obviously not right for you. don't get back together with him.

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  • Bastart

    Never ever get involved with Indian man or woman, all(all) are pieces of shits. They have appalling morals.

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