Is it normal for her to act this way?

52% Normal
5 Comments

I am engaged to be married and have been with my fiancee a year. He has a 13 year old stepdaughter that has always lived with him. I have a 5 year old daughter that has no communication with her dad and never has. My fiancee has asked for his daughter's approval on everything in our relationship (moving in, getting engaged, ect.) He asked her if my daughter could call him dad, to which she gave her approval. This is very important to him, because he is the one raising her and she has never really had anyone to call dad. A couple of weeks later she started getting very rude with my daughter and started blaming it on the fact that she doesn't like her to call her daddy dad. My fiancee told her that he would not ask my daughter to stop calling him dad as thats not the right thing to do. Several weeks later the situtaion started to spiral out of control, she was rude, unresponsive, mouthy, unhappy, making bad grades, lieing, and disrespectful to everyone around her. It made a very unhappy home life and made us all miserable. She begged to live with her mother, and finally we allowed her to move under the circumstances that she come home after the school year is over. Now she no longer wants to come home, she is rude, and is fighting terribly with her dad. She refuses to be around us until we make my 5 year old stop calling my fiancee dad. She recently told him she was not coming to our wedding. We are currently trying to concieve a child and he told her and she wants nothing to do with the child, and is pissed that he would even consider having another child. Is this normal behavior? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this situation?

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 48 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    this is a common problem. i think your fiancee has been trying to keep his daughter in the loop by checking with her and asking permission so that she doesn't feel abandoned. the problem is that the kid's view of her place in the family has become skewed. although it's looking like your little girl is the issue, it may just be that the 13 year old is feeling replaced by you.

    either way, this is probably a somewhat typical reaction from her because of the circumstances, but now she thinks she can call the shots, which i wouldn't advise she be allowed.

    no doubt, when it was just the two of them, it was easy for the father to treat the girl as if they were a team, but that isn't proving advantageous now.

    i think the father and daughter need to have a "sit down" talk. hopefully, your intended can find a way to make his child understand that although the two of them made up their family for quite some time, it is now time to move on and develop a more normal existance for himself. she may understand that in the near future, she may want a boyfriend for herself, and she will be glad that dad isn't trying to stop that from happening.

    i would imagine that there are some self help books out there to help guide the way through a situation like this. hopefully you can find resolution for this quickly.

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  • hotyoungbicouple
    6 years ago

    Me and my boyfriend both call our step daddy's daddy

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  • purplemonkeys
    13 years ago

    BoredGuy made my day

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    little brat needs some spanking.

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  • pgirl03
    13 years ago

    she sounds like a spoiled little brat who needs to get a big dose of reality. Of course she is upset or my feel replaced by her father. Dont be fooled because she may also be using this as a crutch to keep getting her way. If I were you I'd try and talk to her yourself and open those gates of communication with her because she is going to be your step daughter. Also she is a teenager, right now is the time you all need to put your foot down. Its time she learns the lesson that we dont always get our way and that sometimes we dont get what we want. Part of life is learning how to compromise and that her dad will ALWAYS be HER dad but even as a big girl we gotta be reminded to share! best of luck.

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