I'm not JUST waiting for him. I'm doing my own thing too which is why we both haven't pursued a real relationship. When I say wait I mean just going with the flow and doing the best we can to stay in touch and not just give up. If we both still have feelings for each other, we want to stay in touch. If we didn't have feelings anymore then wed move on. But our thing is we don't want to move on just cause we can't make it work right now. As long as we still have feelings for each other we want to stay in touch.
He's mentioned he doesn't have any other girl or talks to anyone else by choice. So he is committed to me in a way.
I hear stories from couples of like 7 years and more and say they just never gave up no matter the circumstances. If the feelings were there then they would make the best of it. Of course it sucks right now in the moment but I'm trying to stay positive and hope that we will end up together in the future. If our feelings fade away then that's when its time to move on.
The difference between what you've described and those other couples is that both parties must be equally committed. It sounds as though you and this guy aren't even dating, because he doesn't have time and is pursuing his career? When my husband and I started dating I was young and in undergrad, he's a bit older and was working - out of the country, pursuing his dream of a career that can only be pursued in youth. He pressured me to transfer to a university near him, but I was also living my academic dream and unwilling to do that. It took compromise and respect on both of our parts - we were long distance for years. YEARS! Being away from your boyfriend every Valentines Day sucked. Taking 10 hour flights to see him over holiday breaks that he didn't share sucked. It worked because we BOTH respected the other's dreams, but more importantly because we wanted to be together. There wasn't a wait until later, it was a let's be together now even if it's on less than ideal terms. Those things are key.
Is it normal for guys to not commit because of other priorities?
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I'm not JUST waiting for him. I'm doing my own thing too which is why we both haven't pursued a real relationship. When I say wait I mean just going with the flow and doing the best we can to stay in touch and not just give up. If we both still have feelings for each other, we want to stay in touch. If we didn't have feelings anymore then wed move on. But our thing is we don't want to move on just cause we can't make it work right now. As long as we still have feelings for each other we want to stay in touch.
He's mentioned he doesn't have any other girl or talks to anyone else by choice. So he is committed to me in a way.
I hear stories from couples of like 7 years and more and say they just never gave up no matter the circumstances. If the feelings were there then they would make the best of it. Of course it sucks right now in the moment but I'm trying to stay positive and hope that we will end up together in the future. If our feelings fade away then that's when its time to move on.
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blackbarbie
8 years ago
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The difference between what you've described and those other couples is that both parties must be equally committed. It sounds as though you and this guy aren't even dating, because he doesn't have time and is pursuing his career? When my husband and I started dating I was young and in undergrad, he's a bit older and was working - out of the country, pursuing his dream of a career that can only be pursued in youth. He pressured me to transfer to a university near him, but I was also living my academic dream and unwilling to do that. It took compromise and respect on both of our parts - we were long distance for years. YEARS! Being away from your boyfriend every Valentines Day sucked. Taking 10 hour flights to see him over holiday breaks that he didn't share sucked. It worked because we BOTH respected the other's dreams, but more importantly because we wanted to be together. There wasn't a wait until later, it was a let's be together now even if it's on less than ideal terms. Those things are key.