Like when we have conversations, and I can't give a direct answer right away because I have to think things through or I may not know the answer, she'd get upset. Yet, I'd never force her to know something she doesn't. And if she cared to know, I try to explain. She wants others to behave exactly how she behaves towards them but everyone isn't like her. I have manners and I respect people but I'm not her. She's very unforgiven too. Once you strike a nerve of hers, she holds that single thing against you. Its childish. I'm insecure and sensitive but I don't hold every little thing she says against her. I was comfortable enough with her where as though I could like my flaws. Maybe I should've l reminded her beautiful she was, and comforted her more. But it still felt as if I had to be super careful about whatever I said to her.
There have been times in my relationship where each of us taken each of the roles you described. I found that there are sometimes when I have had to say "look, i know you dont mean to, but this bothers me. I love you, but please stop." There have been times hes told me "you just cant do that, it hurts me and I don't want to feel hurt around you."
Finally, there are times when one of us has said "look, I love you, but this has to stop. Period. If this continues, I'm leaving, because its not worth sacrificing my self esteem."
The best way for us is to hit the problem head on. Say you dont like it, that its damaging to your relationship. But don't attack her - confront the behavior. Ride out the storm, stick your ground, make surr to remind her how much you care about her. It works for us, but you need to decide your specific approach. You also need to decide what you are willing to sacrifice for this girl if she wont quit - are you willing to sacrifice other relationships? Your dignity? Your sense of self worth? Find the line, and draw it clearly for yourself.
Is it normal for girls to behave this way in a relationship
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Like when we have conversations, and I can't give a direct answer right away because I have to think things through or I may not know the answer, she'd get upset. Yet, I'd never force her to know something she doesn't. And if she cared to know, I try to explain. She wants others to behave exactly how she behaves towards them but everyone isn't like her. I have manners and I respect people but I'm not her. She's very unforgiven too. Once you strike a nerve of hers, she holds that single thing against you. Its childish. I'm insecure and sensitive but I don't hold every little thing she says against her. I was comfortable enough with her where as though I could like my flaws. Maybe I should've l reminded her beautiful she was, and comforted her more. But it still felt as if I had to be super careful about whatever I said to her.
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MsWVgal
10 years ago
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There have been times in my relationship where each of us taken each of the roles you described. I found that there are sometimes when I have had to say "look, i know you dont mean to, but this bothers me. I love you, but please stop." There have been times hes told me "you just cant do that, it hurts me and I don't want to feel hurt around you."
Finally, there are times when one of us has said "look, I love you, but this has to stop. Period. If this continues, I'm leaving, because its not worth sacrificing my self esteem."
The best way for us is to hit the problem head on. Say you dont like it, that its damaging to your relationship. But don't attack her - confront the behavior. Ride out the storm, stick your ground, make surr to remind her how much you care about her. It works for us, but you need to decide your specific approach. You also need to decide what you are willing to sacrifice for this girl if she wont quit - are you willing to sacrifice other relationships? Your dignity? Your sense of self worth? Find the line, and draw it clearly for yourself.