Is it normal for fiance to be like this?

45% Normal
13 Comments

Hi guys! First off, thanks for clicking on my post! I'm male. I'm currently engaged to my girlfriend and have been together for 13 years. My problem is she has completely shut down sexually. We have always had an ok sex life, until now. We have now gone almost 3 months without sex, the longest we have ever gone! I have been patient and not pressured her but thought we need to talk about this as the frustration in me was becoming far too difficult to hide. She says she just does not want sex at the moment and does not know why. We get along well everything else is fine. She says she is in love with me, does still find me sexually attractive and insists there is nobody else. Trust has never been an issue between us. She says she misses sex but cant explain why she feels this way. This makes me feel worthless! Do you think i am being naive believing what she is telling me, that she does not know why? Maybe because she does not want to hurt my feelings? What would you do in my situation? Please give any advice as i dont know what to do for the best! Sorry for the long post, but please give me any advice you can, i really do need some help with this one. Thanks again guys.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 13 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • SURETHING
    8 years ago | pl

    Well get use to it if your getting married to her. Ever thought about using your hand?

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  • LDlauren
    9 years ago | pl

    I'm a women and I had a phase were I did not have sex with my boyfreind was because he'd injured himself playing rugby.the longest I've gone without sex with a boyfreind was about a week.

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    • FunkyMonkey
      9 years ago | pl

      Thanks for the comment. Hope your boyfriend understands how lucky he is! 3 months and counting for me, the longest i have gone since i was 18. And its killing me. What would you advise me to do?

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      • LDlauren
        9 years ago | pl

        Well if she really doesn't want to have sex with you probably can't make her want to but if you talk to her and she loves you she'll probably "take one for the team" and do it if you ask her PS be carefull It may be a test, I once had a strange freind and shed do things like this although never normally this long or this far into a relationship. PSS is she religious because I have the feeling that it's down to getting engaged (maby she's nervous about settling down?) although at 13years I dougt it also I'm assuming you proposed, sorry for assuming that.

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        • LDlauren
          9 years ago | pl

          I just realised how bad my grammar was in the original comment although I did fail my English GCSE 12 years a go

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  • ygrowup
    9 years ago | pl

    Normal for some, but if the condition goes on for much longer she needs to see a doctor and have a check up to be sure there is not something really wrong with her. This is often a symptom of many different other problems

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    • FunkyMonkey
      9 years ago | pl

      Thanks for the comment. I mentioned to her that maybe this might be some medical condition, but she just looked at me in complete disgust.

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  • KeepsakeDoll
    9 years ago | pl

    Pretty normal. Some people have their sex drive decrease over time.

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    • FunkyMonkey
      9 years ago | pl

      Thanks for the comment. Her sex drive has not decreased as she told me she just uses her vibrator in bed whilst i'm stuck downstairs sleeping on the sofa alone. That hurt.

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  • donotmockme
    9 years ago | pl

    This is completely normal. I went through a phase like this where I couldn't even try to have sex for about three months.

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    • FunkyMonkey
      9 years ago | pl

      Hi. Thanks for commenting. Do you mind if i ask if you are male/female? What would you advise me to do from now on, as you have had a similar situation? What would you do if you were me?

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      • donotmockme
        9 years ago | pl

        I'm female and I think give her a little time but try to slowly get back into by maybe doing some foreplay with her?

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        • FunkyMonkey
          9 years ago | pl

          Thanks for the advice. I'm going to step back and just give her time. The frustration is becoming almost unbearable though. Hopefully time will help her. But me sleeping on the sofa is killing my back!

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