Hello! Don't worry about the long posts, I like to read. Moreover, this subject is interesting to me. So if you need to add details, go on!
"do you never get concerned about how you feel about someone? is it so straight-forward that you just know you love them and it doesn't change?"
I don't have much experience in relationships either (I'm 23). But yes, sometimes I get concerned about my feeling towards a woman. However, if I don't like her, in general, I realize that after a few dates, regardless of having or not having sex. Nevertheless, one thing is true: stupidity, in my case, is a gigantic turn off. If she is incredibly hot, but has a peanut instead of a brain, I won't like her. Period.
As you see, my realization is more like a gradual one, I mean, my feelings CAN change... but I can give explanations about it (i.e. her kisses did not fascinate me, our lifestyle differs too much, etc.). What you experience are sudden changes, right? and it seems that you can't help it. I don't think you should feel guilty, that being the case. And telling the guy that "it wouldn't work" was the best thing you could do, it shows maturity and respect for the counterpart, IMO.
It is impossible to determine how much love will last -sometimes it endures for years, sometimes for days- so we should enjoy it whilst it lives.
Is it normal for feelings to change like this?
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
Hello! Don't worry about the long posts, I like to read. Moreover, this subject is interesting to me. So if you need to add details, go on!
"do you never get concerned about how you feel about someone? is it so straight-forward that you just know you love them and it doesn't change?"
I don't have much experience in relationships either (I'm 23). But yes, sometimes I get concerned about my feeling towards a woman. However, if I don't like her, in general, I realize that after a few dates, regardless of having or not having sex. Nevertheless, one thing is true: stupidity, in my case, is a gigantic turn off. If she is incredibly hot, but has a peanut instead of a brain, I won't like her. Period.
As you see, my realization is more like a gradual one, I mean, my feelings CAN change... but I can give explanations about it (i.e. her kisses did not fascinate me, our lifestyle differs too much, etc.). What you experience are sudden changes, right? and it seems that you can't help it. I don't think you should feel guilty, that being the case. And telling the guy that "it wouldn't work" was the best thing you could do, it shows maturity and respect for the counterpart, IMO.
It is impossible to determine how much love will last -sometimes it endures for years, sometimes for days- so we should enjoy it whilst it lives.