I am in fact a girl. I don't have much relationship experience to be honest but i know the very first guy I decided to be 'in a relationship' with lasted less than a week- because of this. Yes the feeling that came over was very sudden, and was actually triggered by someone else mentioning our relationship, just in a casual way. I suddenly thought of our relationship differently and felt very uncomfortable and if I remember correctly I literally tried to erase him from my life; not speaking to him at all and i was going to block him on fb (he did nothing wrong!) but after a few pondering days I just told him it wouldn't work and we stayed friends.
I may have changed now though, I am a happier and more confident person and I don't want to play with peoples' feelings like that, even if I can't help it.
I just started dating a guy and I'm really anxious it'll happen again, but I'm trying to be more laid-back about it and not think about things too much, just let things happen..
sorry that was long I just thought I'd explain. do you never get concerned about how you feel about someone? is it so straight-forward that you just know you love them and it doesn't change?
Hello! Don't worry about the long posts, I like to read. Moreover, this subject is interesting to me. So if you need to add details, go on!
"do you never get concerned about how you feel about someone? is it so straight-forward that you just know you love them and it doesn't change?"
I don't have much experience in relationships either (I'm 23). But yes, sometimes I get concerned about my feeling towards a woman. However, if I don't like her, in general, I realize that after a few dates, regardless of having or not having sex. Nevertheless, one thing is true: stupidity, in my case, is a gigantic turn off. If she is incredibly hot, but has a peanut instead of a brain, I won't like her. Period.
As you see, my realization is more like a gradual one, I mean, my feelings CAN change... but I can give explanations about it (i.e. her kisses did not fascinate me, our lifestyle differs too much, etc.). What you experience are sudden changes, right? and it seems that you can't help it. I don't think you should feel guilty, that being the case. And telling the guy that "it wouldn't work" was the best thing you could do, it shows maturity and respect for the counterpart, IMO.
It is impossible to determine how much love will last -sometimes it endures for years, sometimes for days- so we should enjoy it whilst it lives.
Is it normal for feelings to change like this?
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I am in fact a girl. I don't have much relationship experience to be honest but i know the very first guy I decided to be 'in a relationship' with lasted less than a week- because of this. Yes the feeling that came over was very sudden, and was actually triggered by someone else mentioning our relationship, just in a casual way. I suddenly thought of our relationship differently and felt very uncomfortable and if I remember correctly I literally tried to erase him from my life; not speaking to him at all and i was going to block him on fb (he did nothing wrong!) but after a few pondering days I just told him it wouldn't work and we stayed friends.
I may have changed now though, I am a happier and more confident person and I don't want to play with peoples' feelings like that, even if I can't help it.
I just started dating a guy and I'm really anxious it'll happen again, but I'm trying to be more laid-back about it and not think about things too much, just let things happen..
sorry that was long I just thought I'd explain. do you never get concerned about how you feel about someone? is it so straight-forward that you just know you love them and it doesn't change?
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paradox90
10 years ago
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Hello! Don't worry about the long posts, I like to read. Moreover, this subject is interesting to me. So if you need to add details, go on!
"do you never get concerned about how you feel about someone? is it so straight-forward that you just know you love them and it doesn't change?"
I don't have much experience in relationships either (I'm 23). But yes, sometimes I get concerned about my feeling towards a woman. However, if I don't like her, in general, I realize that after a few dates, regardless of having or not having sex. Nevertheless, one thing is true: stupidity, in my case, is a gigantic turn off. If she is incredibly hot, but has a peanut instead of a brain, I won't like her. Period.
As you see, my realization is more like a gradual one, I mean, my feelings CAN change... but I can give explanations about it (i.e. her kisses did not fascinate me, our lifestyle differs too much, etc.). What you experience are sudden changes, right? and it seems that you can't help it. I don't think you should feel guilty, that being the case. And telling the guy that "it wouldn't work" was the best thing you could do, it shows maturity and respect for the counterpart, IMO.
It is impossible to determine how much love will last -sometimes it endures for years, sometimes for days- so we should enjoy it whilst it lives.