Is it normal for "extremely good-looking" people to be hated on?

You wouldn't believe how jealousy manifests itself. Hatred is the most common form.

I know from experience that this is perfectly normal. The only people who argue that beautiful people get better treatment are those who are universally ignored, because if they walked in the shoes of a truly stunning person, they would realise that their assumptions are nothing more than fallacies.

When I was 18 to 20 years old, I got exactly the same sort of attention you describe. Nearly all men stared at me and quite a few girls and women would do the same. But at the same time, a lot of girls and women would angrily glare at me and some would mutter stuff under their breath. I was fully aware of what it was, because I never got this sort of treatment when I was an awkward teenager and people would never dare act like this to someone who’s unattractive.

But when I gained weight towards my 21st birthday, I was invisible to both men and women. It was weird how the admiration and envy came hand in hand; and left hand in hand too.

However I was still angrily envied by this one girl, who was morbidly overweight in the face and considered to be below average. It was confusing at the time, as I didn’t have the male attention. But I just realised, judging by how a very small number of people would still stare at me on the street that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

I would consider myself to be truly average looking now as I don’t get attention of any sort. It’s a very different life as literally all people leave me alone, but I’d be lying if I said that what happened to me in the past didn’t bother me from time to time. Even though I know I shouldn’t be living in the past, thoughts have a habit of prodding at you. But I’m learning to be more forgiving now, as anger does nothing for you.

I think the best thing for you to do now is to see things from their point of view. They wouldn’t be envious of you unless they have physical flaws they are embarrassed about and plus, for them to feel hideous just by looking at someone else just comes to show how fragile their self esteem is. I agree with someone else on here, people have a sense of justice and fairness and they try to even the score by dragging you down to their level. It’s not you with the problem, it’s them.

Also, with the sweet personality you seem to have, you’ll attract the right kind of friends who you’ll trust. See it this way; at least you know who your real friends are, because real friends would never envy you, regardless of how beautiful or wealthy you appear to be.
You sound like you’re very wise and socially intelligent, so these people have already failed, as you can see right through them and their insecurities.

I feel bad for you. and your story makes me want to check myself the next time i assume someone is fake and start judging her.

Yes, it's very normal. It's called jealousy.

@birdymojo:
This is exactly what she is talking about. And it is not specific to women. I am a guy and I do not look in the mirror every 5 seconds and I don't think there is anything particularly attractive about me. But i've been told i'm gorgeous my entire life. I even put a picture on hotornot.com years ago to find out for sure and after 1500 votes I was still a 9.3 Like others have mentioned people mistake confidence for cockiness. but haters like you make us hate that we look good. Do you have any idea what it's like to have someone judge you before they even know you? Or have people try to get you fired? Or have people do things to your car? just because of how you look? I'm sure you don't or you wouldn't be saying these things. I've never heard of an not good looking person being assaulted just because they are not good looking. It is really annoying, and if the people that hate on us knew what it was really like to be beautiful, they would feel so bad for the way they treated other beautiful people. Like I said, I don't keep a picture of myself in my wallet or stare at myself every 5 seconds and I really don't see what is so hot about me. but it's true. I like this post alot especially about people assuming you are stupid and have no personality, that is so true! it's not all it's cracked up to be, honestly, I'd rather be average rather than deal with the constant hate.

I agree, I am sick of blonde jokes, and the assumptions some people make about good looking people, those idiots are just jealous, forget them. Good looking people are accused of being shallow when in reality they are no different to everyone else, some are shallow, some are smart etc. You can't judge a book by its cover

i relate to this story, i struggle to socialize because of the same problem. when i enter in a room full of people i get all the women attention, so men start hating me instantly and of course, i don't like all women, so i would look at the one i like, then that's the only person that wont hate me, the rest of the people will. just like that, in a matter of seconds or minutes, i will have a plot against me, same at workplace, not an easy thing to deal with.

it's just envy, and it's awe full to be an envy producer when i want to be just one more, awe full to be rejected for doing nothing to nobody

Ugly and average looking women will swear up and down that beautiful women get special favors at work and money from men and blah blah blah. But really now, how the heck would these uggs know? They don't. They dream this crap up, mostly based upon our white-male-perspective driven media.

In reality, as a very good looking woman, let me tell you uggs that men are scared out of their minds to talk to beautiful women. And if they are not scared, they are usually resentful as hell because they think beautiful women will have nothing to do with them. Think hostile environment resentful.

Ugly women like to talk about the experiences of beautiful women as though they (the uggs) had a clue. And they don't. Same with men. Men tell me all the time that I could get any many I want. Which of course is nonsense. When it comes to mating and marriage, I see much more evidence suggesting that men marry for utility than they do for looks. How many men do you know are married to gorgeous women? Now how many men do you know are married to workhorses? Or virtual house slaves? Men do not pursue gorgeous women nearly as much as you might think. And if they do, its usually to score a sexual conquest and then move on.

Ugly females and men in general need to stop filling in the blanks for themselves where the experiences of beautiful women are concerned. You uggs and resentful males have a right to speak on the experience of being ugly and undesired because these are things I could believe you would know about. But you do not have any reasonable basis to speak about the day to day experiences of beautiful women as though you would know.

Is it normal for good looking women to be hated? In a society where females are everyday bombarded with male messages that say females are valued solely for looks? In a society where a very tiny fraction of females meet the criteria of a man's definition of beautiful? In a society that works women like dogs, pays them little, disrespects them, and at the same places an expectation on them to look good through it all? Really? Of course good looking women are hated and its the norm. Of course.

Stop listening to unattractive people whining about mistreatment for being ugly. They are such liars. What they are calling mistreatment is nothing other than a deficiency of romantic possibilities. And that is NOT mistreatment. It just isn't. The only folks being mistreated are the good looking ladies. By the uggs. At least you uggs don't get fired from your jobs for looking "too tempting". I don't who all these good looking women are that you uggs say get special favorable treatment at work. I see more women harassed based upon their looks, not promoted on their looks. I would go so far to say that beautiful women are very possibly THE most discriminated against members of our society. Certainly the most often hated.

Thanks for posting this. It's happened to me all my life. Now I married a very handsome man, and it happens to both of us as a couple. I even cut off my hair into a pixie to make myself look average...but I stand out more since I have that pretty face and fit body. People are jealous of not just outer beauty, but the inner beauty you portray when you are kind and genuine. They get really threatened by your light. There's nothing we can do about it. I've learned now that I'm older not to kiss up and to be assertive when people cross the line. My advice to you STAY BEAUTIFUL IN and OUT, but if anyone bullies you, go for the kill. You need to protect yourself and show people that your beauty and kindness should not be tarnished because of their issues.

Danish proverb

If envy were a plague, the whole world would be contaminated.

GOD BLESS AND MAY THE LIGHT OF GOD ALWAYS PROTECT YOU SISTER!

i like how you have to keep adding that you're not stuck up b/c if u dont add that 10,000 times all the psychos and haters will start attacking u calling u a stuck up b and this and that..its disgusting..

youre lucky you have a bf..im a hot girl who gets that attention adn worse..and i cant even get a BF..men hate me, women hate me..hell everyone hates me. and if someone is nice to me now i think its a game. its true that envy and admiration come hand in hand..and those who are pretty are hated and get attention. I get treated badly at restaurants, anywhere..dates are mean to me, my family is abusive to me..everyone hates you if you're pretty it seems..its not just you. I'm in my 30's now and it's still happening..i still look young and i can't even get a bf..at least you have one..

I'm a male and this is completely an issue that I deal with all the time. People hate on me HARD really HARD and I'm the type of person who just minds their business. I'm especially hated on by men.
I don't get along with men unless I flirt with them, but I fare pretty well with women most times.
Strangers just start drama with me and send me negative energy, bad vibes and body language.
Even today I was in the computer lab at school and this dude came in rolling his eyes at me, puffed up angry and sat with his back completely to me, when the chairs sit forward at the computer, he was assigned the computer next to mine I was minding my own business and had never met or spoken to this man a day in my life. He was so negative and nasty towards me that i got up and left to another lab within minutes. The sad part was that he was also an attractive guy and had no reason to have a problem with me but he decided to create one with me for whatever reason
I dress nicely so people look at me and think I'm a snob but the fact of the matter is that their disrespectful treatment of me makes me walk with my head taller
I cant help that I have a slammin body, a very attractive face and I carry myself with confidence, I have to do so to offset all of the negative energy that's directed towards me constantaly
I also feel that people go out of their way to try to lower my self-esteem and that's unfortunate.

This happens to me every single day, I don't like the way some people treat me. I used to have random guy friends but their intentions were to date me, and when I rejected them, they stop talking to me, they're mean, they don't even greet me. Girls even think I'm trying to steal their boyfriends, I always get alot attention from young and grown men even older 50+. Girls say nasty things about me. I don't have many friends and I've never had a best friend my whole life, everybody controls what i do where i've been, even strangers know my name and everything about my life. Married men check me out, flirt with me. The only part I enjoy of being beautiful is you get lots of freebies from men, they offer me gifts and money, hot men call me sexy, and cute. I'm only treated well by hot guys and for me that's fantastic, I'm only friends with hot men. I don't care if people hate on me anymore.

I've learned that if a girl hates you she's jealous and if a guy hates you it's cause he knows he can't have you.

This goes for every beautiful girl in the world who's been hated on for no reason. Good luck. XO

This is normal because.....Confidence is often mistaken for being cocky..... I am always perceived as a b**** and I just tell myself that the people that don't really kno me have lost out. Don't sweat the small shit it's their lost.

im sorry :( the way you described yourself makes me want to be your friend! go beautiful and smart people :D

back in middle school i had really long hair (past waist) but i cut it all when i reached high school because i felt like people only saw me as the girl with long hair

honestly, i would be intimidated by you because you're super pretty and i'd probably feel like i wouldn't measure up... and also if you're smart i'd feel like i wasn't smarter... as u can tell i have a little of a superiority complex.

sometimes when people dont want to feel like another is more pretty than them, they will call them ugly just to make themselves feel better.
but assuming you have a great personality, you will be able to get through this! just always treat people the way you want to be treated and you will encounter those that do not hate on you.

btw, ur boyfriend is soo lucky =]] i hope i get a great boyfriend that notices when people treat me badly too..

omg, this happens to me too!! I thought I was the only one :(this made me feel a lot better :)thanks for posting it haha!

I know how you feel. Well, I'm certainly not "perfect," but there are girls at work who hate me because they're jealous. They were really mad when they found out my hair is real (not fake like their's). So yeah, I feel your pain!

I feel for you, I am in the same situation it is normal. I am 5'9 skinny huge blue eyes and golden hair and nice assets haha, but every where I go i'm judged by the fact I'm a model. My self concience friends now hate me to it so I agree with you compleatly people judge beautiful women before they get to know them

Wow ! I'm not alone ! Thank you !! Man ! I get ignored a lot ! I mean a lot !! But it seems to be a mask from people . they stare & then it's like they put on the I don't like you mask ? Sometimes I'll mesmerize a restaurant full of women, or get what I call leaners . People leaning in to get a look . & sometimes it's the ignore me crowd but well .... Why go out of your way to ignore someone ? It's an attempt to put down an attractive person , I believe .
Rarely il be out & about & people just won't trip at all . I just blend in.That's refreshing . I can just relax . But it's rare . Well... I'm just gorgeous , not a joke , I just am , & it's ok for me to say that . It explains people's reactions to me . & It's not a curse either . Or a boast , just a fact . Better to be attractive than repulsive eh ? John merrick , the elephant man, probably got the same reactions many very attractive people do . It seems to exist at the extreams . It's true beauty is in the eye , but I think there are just some people who are attractive to a vast # of other people . Cary grant or Raquel welch types . So... If your gorgeous be gorgeous . Hey, be yoseff !!

Funny you mention what u did.
I too do not consider myself exceptionally good looking. From my perspective I do not know what a good looking man looks like as I have never been attracted to men or who looked at them in that sense.
The only reason I have the sense that I am very attractive to women is because of all the comments they make to and regarding me "He is so hot", "He looks so good". Women literally sit and stare at me for hours, they follow me around, it is really wierd. Regardless, I do not take it to heart as I have never relied on looks for success, everything I have attained in life I have earned, whether it be my success as an athlete, a musician, intellectual or writer, I have worked hard to be good.
To your point, however, men (which surprises me), seem to seethe with anger and jealousy towards me. They try to intimidate me (even though, being an amatuer fighter -- boxing, muay thai and mma -- i could probably put them in the hospital with ease), they spread rumours about me, and all manner of stupidity. It seems they are much more concerned about my looks than I am, as I really care not about my looks..i care about being the best I can be.
Funny thing, women too act very strange towards me. In one breathe they seem not to be able to take their eyes off me, yet when I approach them in a friendly manner, they clam up...it is real strange.
All I can say is LIVE YOUR LIFE and enjoy it. At the end of the day what matters is not looks but the quality of life you lived and what you accomplished in your time on this rock called earth.

be friends with guys with big dicks, they never have insecurities.

I am so thankful to have came upon this post. I have been researching to try and find people that have experienced things like this. I am go to college & I am in a teaching program with almost all females, with the exception of maybe three males that are in one of my classes. I go out of my way to try to be friendly with them & I get worried I am going to seem weird or desperate but I just want to be apart of the group. Although I have went places with them and we talk at school, I am treated differently & singled out by all women. My husband told me I should try to be really friendly, to show that I am approachable and great, but it has not worked. I have always had this problem & I can only count on one hand the true friends that I have had. I have had some girls to tell me that women are jealous of me & one even said that I make her feel terrible because she felt pathetic compared to me. That was so uncomfortable and I went into the restroom and cried. I NEVER want anyone to feel that way because of me. It truly is hard to be considered extremely attractive. People do not realize what it is like unless they have experienced it. Thank you so much for this post, I don't feel so alone now =)

when it comes to online dating-i have to send a picture out to guys and warn them that im pretty..and if theyre insecure or scared that im telling them first..how crazy is this? because if i don't tell them im really pretty..they'll see my picture, and freak out, ditch me, cancel or ignore me..or treat me badly. i met a date the other day..he was a short fat strange looking chinese guy- i hadnt sent him a picture first b/c based on his picture i knew he wouldn't meet me. how insane is this..a beautiful female doesnt send a picture to an ugly guy becaues he's going to reject her b/c he's insecure...when i met him, he freaked out..he was like..breathing heavy and just acting weird..saying 'whew' and things like that...then he said he had to cancel because he just got a call..and if we could do it tomorrow...kind of like..well let me ditch you now and who knows...i didnt need an explanation--i began walknig off...then he began following me..crazy..he followed me to my car then got in front of my car as if he wanted to grab my car or me..nutjob...this is how crazy people today are...

and you have to keep adding how great your personality is otherwise 10,000 haters ugly fat people rude people and jerks will accuse you of having a bad personality becaues you're hot..its disgusting and humorous too how sick people are..if you're pretty you have to constantly apologize for being hot..get bad attention from jealous and rude jerks, get treated badly..and on top of that, you cant even complain or ask questions about your suffering because then you'll further be persecuted by jerks who will claim you are either stuck up rude a b*tch mean or have a bad personality or put on an air and think highly of yourself hence the reason people are mean to you...in reality you're just a nice normal person who gets treated like dirt just becaues you are pretty and others can't handle it...

believe me only the hot women out there know what you're talking about..it's how ti is..but some of us can't even make friends or get a boyfriend..it's disgusting. I remember when i visited my sister...one of her friends who was rude to me, was also being rude to another female who was attractive and dressed in this shiny top. to me she wasnt intimidating or i wasn't jealous at all. i was glad to talk to her and when we talked u could see people staring at both of us..like oh two hot girls talking to each other..idiots. Once a female who was beautiful was engaged to a guy i know..when i met her she said...oh i bet people talk a lot of trash about you all the time...theyre probably always talking about you...i said yes..like how do you know? i assume she knew b/c she was pretty too.. people are very rude...theyre sickening...and its messed up how mean they can be..

I never considered myself to be good-looking, but I grew up in a town where most people are pug-ugly, something to do with generations of inbreeding or something like that. I was always being told that I was always being told that i was pretty, once a woman came up to me in the street & told me so! a total stranger! I also got bullied for being prettier & more developed than my classmates at school, & when i was a teenager I had to cope with bad comments from ugly boys.( sour grapes) I`ll honestly say that a girl is better off being average or even plain, that pretty, because I can`t see any advantage to being pretty, you just get picked on by ugly people, & pesterd by creepy guys.

same bs i gutta deal wit....It's the constant attention I cant stand...I'm a male 28, short 5'7" but that doesn't seem to deter the stares. kinda feel like I'm always
on display. Plus I've always been a lil timid and sometimes I really just dont want to deal with it and I may come off as stuck up. Guy's always hate on me..Matta a fact I was at a new gym today and I over heard some dude talking under his breath to some girl.Honestly it can make one feel pretty shitty sometimes.I'm also latino and having to deal with straight latin american male natives is an EFIN NIGHTMARE!!!!!

I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm 25 and for the past 10 years of my life I've gotten the same reaction many people like me and many don't. I'm handsome and have always been but when I was in my late childhood years and early teens I was overweight. Then when I turned 15 I lost the weight and immediately it seemed like the world had changed. I was either desired, admired or envied by it seemed to be everyone. Like the person said it's amazing how the admiration comes hand in hand and it does leave hand in hand also. As I get older I'm realizing that eventually the attention will fade and I will just be what I am a person. We can't get fed up in our looks and youth, though I cringe every time I realize I'm going to be 40 one day it has to happen. I just put on 30 pounds in the past few months and immediately noticed a decline in attention. I just am realizing what my mother always told me depend on your looks and you'll lose them depend on yourself and you'll grow.

I love the idea of a support group

I'm a guy and women love me for my looks and personality, but many people often act the same way to me. This and constant staring and women hitting on me, has has actually given me an anxiety disorder.

Extreme sex appeal can be both a blessing and a curse.

Good luck, I can sympathize.

This happens to me all the time and I have learned to just deal with it.I was at the bank the other day minding my own business and these three women were snickering about me having no jiggle I was lined up at the bank and I knew they wanted me to feel bad.I'am 5'5 124 36-25-36 and and they were obviously trying to pick on me.I ignored them and what I usually do is try to kill them with kindness because once you see the faces or the boyfriends faces zoom in on you and then the women get catty I don't like that.I'am the nicest person always try to compliment female friends because whenever I meet someone new I want them to not be intimidated or feel threatened for any dumb reason and I try to be nice as possible sometimes it gets annoying to do that because I just wanna say screw it why do I try so hard to win over these women if they are threatened by me?.I also think when certain women have a beautiful inside and are kind they are drawing in people and other women hate that because they do not posses those traits and all I can say is that keep on being happy,kind and loving towrds others because I love it when some woman tells my friends is she a b..... or she thinks she's all that and my friends tell them she is the nicest woman ever once you get to know her she is the kindest.I feel like my reputation gets easier once I prove I'am not just looks I also have heart and also giving.I came here looking for others like me because some days it does get to me and makes me feel sad to work even harder and hear negative ,catty remarks ,it can be hurtful.

I believe beautiful people who are also beautiful inside have a charisma thsts may be seen as too confident by insecure people. I have found some people can try to dampen a beautiful persons confidence. The best way to cope with. negative people is not to react negative comments but just laugh it off or keep quiet. Yes being beautiful can be difficult it depends on the people you are around. I was plump before I reached puberty and i was called beautiful but when I became slim I noted more jealousy from women and some males would be negative if. I did not want to flirt with them. I have learnt to zone out when I encounter negative attitudes and think of positve things like family genuine friends and coconut milkshake with double cream lol ..love & light to All xxxxx

Same here. I was a chubby teen, I lost the weight in my 20', suddenly I was described as stuck up instead of shy. I gained so much weight, and know I am generally ignored (was a relief). I started to lose weight two months ago, and I am getting my beautiful face and body back... guess what? I am being given dirty looks everywhere I go. I started my weight loss plan because my husband wants to see me skinny (he met me chubby) I told him this was going to happen before... he didn't believe me, now he sees what I went through before. It's a type of descrimination, created by insecure people who are diks.

Wow, that is so unfair. I think they must do it out of self-defence. I mean, if they just sit and stare at you open-mouthed, which is probably what they feel like doing naturally, their admiration will openly show and they might be seen to be vulnerable. It's such crap though. There's nothing wrong with observing and appreciating beauty. I'm an average-looking woman with stunningly gorgeous friends I am proud to call my friends. Not just because they're great friends, but I actually feel honoured that such beautiful women want to be my friends. In fact, in my life I've come across VERY few truly gorgeous women who are stuck-up or mean. Most of them are absolutely angelic people, very smart, classy and thoughtful, if a bit reserved at first. And who can blame them when everyone is either trying to back-stab them or get them into bed? And for something that's purely aesthetic! Beauty, as the ancient Greeks defined it, is a universal concept related to form, colour and contrast. It's only seen with the eyes. But the eyes are not eternal, they too are physical entities and will one day be gone. So what's all the big deal with aesthetic beauty? It's not like it's a part of your soul; you couldn't help being born that way. And what is beauty anyway? It's what society tells us is beautiful. But different people have different opinions of beauty. I don't find Brad Pitt attractive though most of the rest of the female world does. Go figure.

I say if it really bothers you, dress down, wear spectacles, cut your hair short and dye it mousy brown, put on some weight and chuck out all your make-up and high heels. Easier said than done but it WILL help with your problem.

yeah, its normal, there just jealous :D

oh bless you, well you seem like a decent genuine person to me and obviously you know that so if they cant be bothered to see the real you, fuck `em. they just jelous anyways most girls would kill to have your body, just ignore these stupid people and live your life! :) x

I know what you are talking about. I read this book called "White Chocolate Moments" it has a character that was afraid of eventually being treated like you are describing. I feel like if you are a good-hearted person, and are aware of this jealousy going on around you, that is the best you can do. Just return those rude stares and comments with love and care, then they will feel double the worst. But ya, that is normal, unfortunately.

i find it strange cause my brother's gf is beautiful, blond, very thin and with big fake boobs and in her case its just the opposite. she is more popular and cannot walk down the street without guys staring at her and wanting her.the males put the moves on her all the time. i remember when i first met her i thought she was a stuck up bitch but now i got to know her well, and she's ok.
i got to admit that i do feel jelouse of her all the time, i can't help it, but i guess thats human nature.

i don't know from experience because i'm average looking, but i do have very attractive friends and some rather homely as well, so i could tell you from this perspective, that i'm sorry but that is really just how the cookie crumbles, people have a sense of justice and fairness in them, and they don't think its "fair" for you to be so beautiful, so they try to even it out by delivering their own twisted kind of justice, just keep in mind that everybody has their own obstacles in life, and this problem is yours, so try to keep your dignity while dealing with

Knowing from experience..it's normal and tiring.

People are mean and they don't like to feel inferior to others, by what you say, it sounds as if you make people feel inferior by just being you. Look for people who won't be swayed either way and try to be their friends. You'll probably have to go the extra mile in order to show that you're different and not like the self absorbed pretty people, that will mean putting up with unfair treatment by being patient and going out of your way to show that you care. Some people will still hate you but a lot of people will notice and respect you for it.

bullies are just insucure about themselves so they try thier best to belilte other people you sound like a beatuiful and wonderful person so you should not let those awful people get to you there just jealous. i have a snoty ugly arogant cousin who is said to be jealous of me. some people say i'm pretty weather or not people find me at pretty or not is stickly their opion. however i have brown hair brown eyes b cup boobs and olive skin. i'm naturally thin.

No, we should be celebrated. All beautiful people have to unite. OP please reply.

I would enjoy meeting you. You seem good in your heart! Much love from Canada! Peace!

Girls probably claim to hate you yet immitate your clothing choice or hairstyle, correct? Immitation and Jealousy are the best forms of flattery.

It puts into the light their insecurities, best to just ignore it, ugly people just as much shit, LoL. I think it's better to just be average and blend into the background while the freaks of nature and the bombshells get hated on, it's been happening for centuries.

Jealous of your looks and presentation - which no doubt you have learned to play to the hilt. So I am not sure what to say. There is a nasty competitiveness in your generation. But you are part of it too. But I guess no one will envy your spelling: "I defiantly don't have implants." Has anyone, in your group, heard of the word "humility?"

I believe this to be true, but like many things of this nature it is women who are more verbal about this than men. I am very much aware of the fact that I am better looking than the average guy and the majority of my peers, and have been since I was younger. I also know that appearances are superficial and fleeting and that like the original poster beauty is really in the content of one's character. In any case, I have no idea how old this post is, nor does it matter as I only need to vent momentarily after hearing what seems like the millionith time in my life that someone has incorrectly assumed that I am arrogant and it appears to have cost me a potential job, and worse this person appears to have spread this filth that is now circulating a very small circle of people in my field. Men who are good looking also deal with this and it is entirely unfair, but I also know that I have no ability to control what others believe about me unless they truly take the time to get to know me.

I suppose it is natural for most people to assume that attractive people are arrogant, extremely egotistical and so on, but it does not make it alright to do so. Reserving judgement is not a strength of human beings in my experience (35 years worth!), but for those who have the patience to get to know me usually find this out. On a few occasions in my life I have gotten the opportunity because of work or school related environments to change people's minds about me after they had inaccurately labelled me arrogant or a jerk or a womanizer. The list can go on. Even women I have dated or girlfriends in the past have acknowledged their initial judgement of me was literally the exact opposite of how I am as a human being.

I remember being in my adolescents and thinking fleeting thoughts about how things would likely improve as I got older because in my naivety I thought that adults held judgement and focused on important things like character or work ethic. I was wrong. Anyway, I just wanted to give you all a male's perspective and to let you know that we also suffer from the same type of discrimination as very attractive women.

Anyway, I suppose the best thing anyone who has been the victim of this kind of judgement can do is take a few deep breaths and just laugh, even when it leads to painful realities like losing a relationship opportunity, a potential job, or even how you are treated when you go shopping.

All the best to those who come here to find out if perhaps they really are arrogant and that they are simply not self-aware. I assure you if you have the foresight to ask this question and deeply question yourself and the answer is no than there is a very strong possibility you aren't and that it is simply their issue. Of course, there is the possibility that you may be or that you have a personality disorder, but that is for another post!

This sounds so much like my life! Being really pretty is hard somtimes i wish i was one of the ugly's i used to degrade when i was at school...
Actually no I don't. Lol.

Omg!! This sounds like my life!! I too am thin, long blond hair, and very sweet, but once I enter a crowded restaurant with my husband, the stares (mostly dirty looks) are everywhere. My problem goes further, when I do see an acquaintance and make simple small talk, they will introduce me to their "mean girl" friends and the rude comments begin. These women are typically older than I, but will ask if I am going through menopause, or will say that they see my husband out all the time and know him, but just can't seem to recall ever seeing/meeting me. I know this comment is a complete lie (funny, I have actually see most of these women out before glaring and snarling directly at me) , and since my husband and I are always together and if we aren't he is with our 8 year old. It goes to show that most women are mentally unstable, insecure, and maybe if they put more energy into making themselves prettier (both exterior & interior) they might get the stares and stop their staring. So hold your head up high and keep smiling, while thinking that these haters are our motivators.

It is a prevalent form of discrimination that is rarely studied. Many people commit suicide who are sex symbols. I have known a few people who were very attractive and tried to end their lives due to the jealousy and social isolation.

Most people think it is fun being attractive. They do not understand that also you endure constant abuse. Most people believe that looks equal love and they do envy and hate those who are prettier than they are because they cannot accept their own feelings of inferiority.

I've found that it gets much worse as you age if you maintain your looks because a fully adult woman does not gain the empathy a pretty child might.

When I entered my 30's, I had the horrendous experience of my mother telling me she couldn't stand the sight of me because I reminded her of what she had lost. She did not understand the degree that expressing her pain hurt my self-concept. My teenage daughter has crying spells because she claims she isn't as beautiful. The glares from females are upsetting, even infuriating, but the worst experience that I have had was that of a teenage girl crying on the street.

I struggled off and on with my self-concept. For a long time I thought that I was very ugly even though people would dramatize that I was not and women openly express jealousy and that they were unhappy they did not look like I did. I struggled to hold jobs down because of sexual harassment and I didn't want to starve repeatedly for the fashion industry. Everyday I am harassed even though I work with kids, and I have been told that I shouldn't be allowed to work around children because I make people think of sex and that makes me unfit to be around children. No one cares what these horrible statements do to your sex concept.

To direct the conversation back to you, it is horribly devastating to experience discrimination over your looks. You are perfectly normal. It happens to virtually all women who are attractive. There are emotional consequences and economic consequences to it. It damages your self-concept. You think that you are bad because everyone tells you that you are the cause of their sexual feelings and their suffering. You witness suffering daily and harassment daily. The only cure for it is old age.

Hey! I totally get you. It really hurts my self-confidence when I get nasty looks from strangers. I am a thin, (extremely, and not on purpose, I just can't help it :( I wish I could) flexible dancer who has blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. I have been called "Barbie" and "fake" by my own supposed friends, when it's not my fault I was born this way. Sometimes the responses are nice, like one time when I walked into a salon and all the hairstylists "oohed" and "ahhed" and all "fought" (hehe) over who got to do my hair. Sometimes people are really nice and complimentary, but others not so much. It really hurts when people make "blonde jokes" (I'm in AP classes and am quite intelligent, I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging) because they don't apply to me. People at my school (especially most brunettes with brown eyes, minus my friends) glare at me and give me dirty looks when I walk by them. What did I do to them? Is it my fault my hair is long, wavy and blonde? Is it because my eyes are blue? It really makes me sad when people degrade me because of my looks, or supposed "intelligence," aka blonde jokes.

I had to start laughing to myself one day when I was out for a walk in the country, because these really ugly and fat middle aged women who would walk past me every now and again would give me these absolutely hateful looks, and I could see that they were boiling over with hostility, contempt, and spite by the looks in their faces. Mind you, I felt nothing towards them, they were strangers to me, people I did not know and did not care to know, I respect peoples boundaries, but I know that many people, particularly abusive people, do not respect boundaries. If someone is ugly, they should not go out of their way to be hateful as well. I was just out for a walk to enjoy the sun and nature. These people were born with a bug up their ass. They eat and see themselves getting fatter and fatter and they do not give a damn about self improvement, or spiritual development, they are malicious as the devil himself, and they know it.

also i have to reject many gay men because they want me, so many people think i'm homophobic, and i don't give a f*** about it, but i'm not, i'm just straight and have the right to choose

Wow, it's almost the exact opposite for me. I'm not good looking at all, but people talk to me a lot, and in a nice way. I get stared at too, because I'm thin and have nice assets, but people say that a body like mine doesn't deserve a face like mine. But people come to me with their problems and trust me, and I'm quite trustworthy, so I have gained friends and an amazing boyfriend because of that. When they stare or insult, offer a smile that could light the world and show them who you really are.

This just goes to show you that being beautiful isn't all it's cracked up to be.

They are just intimidated by your beauty thats all, If I were you I would just work it.

I'm not stunning, just decent looking and feel better about the fact that my looks don't bring all the average people to me, because that way it acts like a filter. Plus I don't want to deal with lots of people in the first place, I'm an introvert.

I know that people wouldn't go out of their way to be with me because of my looks. So, the ones who stick around probably really do like me.

I don't know, I guess I get what you mean. You don't have that certainty. It can be isolating.

im sure you are not the only beautiful woman that walked in a room.what about all those georgous burnetts out there. you'll be ok try your higher power. nothing is promised to us in this life look change- be it age - be a car wreck, etc. dont sweat the small stuff. im sure HAILY BERRY suffer the same affiction

with a slight change in the the severity of ones goodlookingness, will come a slight or drastic change in the perception of oneself in another's eyes; depending on the the 'nonjudging' qualities of the viewer. These non-judgemental people are the decsent ones. I can relate.

I get it too. It's why I don't tell people how many guys try to talk to me on a daily basis. I don't want the drama.

Omg! This is crazy because I go through the same exact thing! That's how i found this site. But anyway, this is normal for someone thats beautiful because its not many females out there that can stand out. So when them females do appear they get plenty of attention. Dont feel bad! If any thing feel blessed! It took me years to learn how to handle this. I'm sure I'm younger than you but I'm African American with an in between tanned complexion many people believe I'm mixed but I'm not I'm 5"10 and I think people stare at me because of how I carry myself I'm also a model. People always tend to hate on me and say mean things about me before meeting me and when they do they pretend to be friends with me because I'm so nice. Many girls like to come over my house and steal things since I'm the only child. But I just though I'd come and say a few things because I finally found someone else that goes through this! But like I said keep your head up and stay confident and feel blessed by the best. If you would like to share stories my twitter name is princesszahzah15. Hope I helped

Haters hate. thats why they call them haters.

Listen, girls get jealous of each other alot that's normal and some guys feel intimidated by beautiful women!! That's just how some people are and u can't change that!! If u r genuinely kind caring and beautiful on the inside then it will show in the outside too!!

It is normal and happens to me all the time. People I believe are just intimidated by me so they try not to pay me no attention and act rude and arrogant. I can see women doing it because most women are always competing. But with men I don't get.

I personally Go for personality rarther than looks :P

Well, you thinking you are beautiful, down-to-earth, intelligent and so forth kind of gives me the impression you are full of yourself. I could be totally mistaking confidence for arrogance. But I wouldn't focus too much on what others perceive you as.

Umm you know i have been through this, in-fact i still have been going through this situation, when i was in my early teenage, i wouldn't get these stares, in-fact i felt i was invisible, but as i grew up i started to get like a lot of stares, i was insecure a couple of years back but now i have gained confidence, i also wear make up, and i look pretty when i wear make up, but when i go out , a lot of girls, women and men look at me , the girls look at me as if i am fake or out of this world, and they look a little shocked, but the stares i get from boys are completely different, they look at me as if i am the most pretty girl they have ever seen in their life . Damn it sucks, i ask to my family that if i am looking good, if my makeup isn't looking too much and they always assure me that i look extremely beautiful. Even when i go at my relatives place, i get ignored, i mean they do talk with me but there is still something that they think about me, i am sure they find me pretty but they never say that out loud, some of my friends tell me that i am gorgeous and etc...it sucks that people hate me for wearing makeup or for looking good

me too, sometimes i wish i was invisible, or average looking.

Normal, and, maybe a bit jealousy. Good friend of mine was a hostess at the sports bar I go to. Tall, fit-bodied, light blue-eyed, model-gorgeous blonde. Truly blessed by mama nature, just..incredible beauty (and hated hearing it). Couldn't help but look at her.

Because of that, though, she took a lot of attention away from the also-hot, and, used to it for making tips, bartenders, who ripped her behind her back, sometimes very mean. Slut, she thinks her shit doesn't stink, look at that bitch...All because she honestly was just so flat-out gorgeous. Even worse, one of the managers, who herself, though older, was used to being "hot" would sometimes rip on her. "She's so pretty but I'd love to fire her", or "Don't look at her too much, guys..I know things about her".

She ended up leaving and doing some modeling in the city, and working part-time at another sports bar. The girls there probably hate her, too.

As far as I can remember I have always been pretty good looking. Nothing ravishing or crazy, but always one of the guys who stood out " naturally" handsome. Girls did not exactly crawl on my feet though as I was pretty shy and nerdy. I had never been concerned with my looks anyway. I was an athlete yet my main interests were intellectual and financial as I have always had to figure out ways to help support myself and my family.
Things however began to change a few years ago as I became a dedicated weight lifter and athlete. I gained almost 30 lbs of muscles; from 170-175 lbs to 200-205 lbs in 3 years of disciplined and dedicated lifestyle change.
Women, who actually used to flirt and even approach me are suddenly a little bit wary of the " big muscle". Some obviously watch me from afar, but very few dare to come closer.
I am a pretty laid back dude though. I am calm, friendly, funny and open to people. I am not however engaged into bullshit gossips, so I tend to mind my own affairs rather than gather in groups with people that I find of no interests. This leads a lot of people to think that I am arrogant and cocky when the fact of the matter is that I just mind my own.

Recently, I have come to realize that MEN are even more insecure as far as looks are concerned; and, they tend to display " extremely immature" acts of jealousy when dealing with someone who they " think" to be a competitor in the looks department.
They will smear you and characterize you as " gay", exacerbate a petty misunderstanding unto a brawl or a fight. This is funny; some guy that I routinely encounter at the gym got upset with his girlfriend when she picked a bench closer to the one where I was working out at! I have had clients trying to get me fired from my job by writing fake reviews of my services unrelated by no means to the job. Clearly these people, to the extent that I can recall felt insecure with me and attacked my person rather than my professional performance.

At first I thought that there was something wrong with me about the sudden change in people perception of me over time. Like many people stated, I was downright " invisible" but to teenage flirties but now that I am buff I seem to make enemies with men everywhere that I set in.

Needless to say, I am not one of the bros! But that is not even in my nature though. I am intellectually leaning, I like to read and research things. I am the handsome nerd with broad shoulders, big biceps, and strong legs. I never knew that this would usher so much insecurities in DUDES! I do not chase females, which also make women angry at me to an extent since I pay them no attention but to the woman I am currently dating.

At the end of the day, if I was a fat slob with a smile, women will certainly ignore me and guys would laugh at me. You therefore can't live your life wondering about how people perceive you. You have been blessed with decent genetics, well maximize them and add some more qualities to the arsenal. That will certainly brings in more " HATERS" but the blessings will certainly surpass the negativity.

Work on yourself and don't worry about what other people think!

What you say could be true. You actually probably expect people to treat you like a princess because you have seen that in movies. However, the real world is cold and harsh to good looking and ugly people too. I would just say don't expect anything overly nice from everyone all the time and you will get on ok.

You're probably not that good looking and paranoid. Why not post a picture of yourself.

I'm sorry that it's true, but I guess it's kind of in human nature. People who don't have necessarily as good looks as some feel jealous. They think that you good looking people hog all the attention, but it's just a cruel stereotype.

Theres shitty people and then theres good people. End of story. Just ignore the shitty ones

reading this, an obvious point comes to mind. you should be with me, because wed always be in the bedroom, noone would have a chance to stare ;) na oj. well a lil bit. people are just jealous you gotta somehow ignore it, and if its really bad go out with someone extremely ugly, then people would look at you like our a saint for helping the needy

I also have huge boobs I think mean likes that :(