Is it normal for an older man to have a crush on a teenage girl

I'm a 41 year old happily married man. I tend to have crushes (I always have), my wife knows and is ok with it since she knows I would never act on them.

My latest crush is a girl at church who is 14 (but looks like she's 16-17). I have NO desire to have sex with her (I rarely do when it comes to crushes), it's more just about really liking the way they look. I do have a shoe fetish, so if they wear nice shoes, I'll have fantasies related to that sometimes. But this girl doesn't tend to do that, she is just really pretty.

As an aside, her mom, on the other hand, has no issue showing off her legs and wearing high heels. :) And yes, I had a crush on her briefly.

Anyway, she's the youngest girl I've ever had a crush on (well, since being an adult) :) It's really not dirty, I just think she's a really pretty young woman.

Is It Normal?
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  • Here is the deal. I am a 37 year old male and I have been trying to answer this question for myself for many years and here is my conclusion.

    1. Men are instinctively attracted to women or girls who are appealing to the eye. This includes sexually maturing teens.

    2. We liked girls that age before we were that age, when we were that age, and as we got older, nothing changed. The difference is how we deal with it and reason with ourselves. Yes, they are sexually attractive and the thought of being with one of these girls can be overwhelming.

    My advice is not to dwell on it and remember that you are a mature adult. Otherwise, a couple of things could happen.

    1. You dwell on it so much that you become obsessed with the idea and eventually lose control and become someone you hate for your thoughts and actions.

    2. The girl will notice and either think you are a creep, or she will play you on it and get you in loads of trouble.

    Girls that age do not seem to understand the "maturity" that they often talk about. If they did, then they would realize that there is nothing mature about a grown man who dates or sleeps with young teenage girls. Because though the male body craves youth and beauty, maturity craves maturity.

    Also, don't let these other guys fool you. It IS normal to WANT to have sex with one of these girls. It is also normal to want to be rich, or to have something far beyond our reach. You just come to an understanding that you cannot and should not, because doing so, can be psychologically harmful to the girl, and can land you in prison. Not to mention the fact that the girl would likely resent you later for it.

    We are not defined by what we think or even fantasize about. What truly defines us are our choices.

    Thats all there is to it.

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  • I have exactly the same crush on a young Philippine girl who's an alter girl - she's so beautiful. The other day i saw her arrive and she had a loose pair of jeans on. I fixed my eyes on her pussy where the jeans were baggy, just dreaming what it would be like to taste her. why do we get these mad thoughts?

    And the other day when one of my sis friends 12 sleptover I had a pee and came out of the bathroom with a stiffy poking through my boxers wishing that she would see. she did cos i saw her but pretended not to see...

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  • So, you notice attractive women, don't we all. So long as you don't act on it (and as you claim it's not a sexual thing, you wont) enjoy.

    I probably wouldn't use the word "crush" though - that has an implication of some sort of sexual, or at least "clingy" desire.

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  • Uh,, Sorry to say it, sir. But it is iligel, and I don't think teenage girls want grown man. Besides, shes wayyy to young to have a boyfriend. You know, teenage girls want cute strong men. They enjoy traveling, Starbucks, livin the good life. Not going out with grown men. I'm sorry, please find someone your age! I know some! Besides! You're MARRIED! If your wife is ok with this, she's CRAZY! Enjoy your wife. Teenagers don't do that kind of stuff. Tell your wife you love her, and you won't have any more crushes but her. Even if its a lie.

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  • It may be normal to have a crush but it won't be if you make it active and real. That's 26 years gap!!! I've had the same type of crushes and won't take it active because it is dead end unless your a billionaire who just wants to buy a woman. That too is dead end.

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  • I think it is natural and normal to want to have sex with a teen girl. I crave it but I know I can't act on it. I see a therapist and she says the same thing.

    I am see girls at church that turn me on and while to do look at their legs I don't glare or flirt with them. I see them at the mall and I often see things that a man my age should not see but it is shown without regard to who is looking.

    But I don't act on it.

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  • I am 49 and i have a crush on a 16 yr old. He looks 25. he used to gaze into my eyes and he went to shake my hand and ended up holding it for 5 minutes. Since than i cant get him out of my mind. He comes to my friends candy store after school to play cards and he is sooo sexy looking. I love when he wore sweats and i can see his bulge. LOL.. but i know i would not act on it. and i think he may be embarrassed now. I miss him now that school is out and from what i see on facebook i saw a pic of him with a girl.
    I commented nice pic. Did i do wrong?

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  • LOL you just like the legs that's all

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  • I think it's normal....I'm 34 and am very attracted to teen girls....I would never act on it but in a lawless world....A lot of countries around the world have much lower age of concents

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  • It is definitely an infatuation (better?) and nothing more. The older I get, the older the women I can find attractive, but it doesn't mean young ones stop looking pretty too. :) It's just you don't act on every impulse, that's all.

    Oh, and since I mentioned the shoe thing (forgot I did that), yeah she's started wearing some nice shoes since the original post. :)

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  • I am 33 and notice young girls and how pretty they are. It's hard not to when there are so many pretty girls around! Honestly i would say that most if not all men regardless of age find young people of the opposite sex pretty. It really all depends on how it is acted on i:e: that is shouldn't be acted on. If i see a pretty 15 year old, i don't want to have sex with her but she would most likely take my breath away with how pretty she is. Normal to me.

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  • Ummm..... Thats a little wierd

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  • I don't think you should use the word crush if you are over sixteen. Sounds immature.

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