there was no excuse for my cheating but it happened and i feel bad for it. but at the same time she could have told me to hold off till she was completly over it or not have married at all. i believe marrying someone means that you understand there past no matter what happened and accept them for who they are not for what they did. my wife used to use cocaine for about 4-5 years before i met her and i understand that and don't hold that against her,although i could i don't why because her past is just that the past. if we dwell on the past we will never be able to move on to the future. or atleast thats what i think.
If you value your marriage as much as you say you do.... you may want to consider why you want to fight her so much on associating with other women.
The more you blame her for marrying you despite your past the more I wonder if she perhaps isn't incorrect in her questioning of your motives.
After all... it's not hard to imagine a man who says "well you should have thought about this before marrying me" as justification of his prior cheating.... and turning it into justification for starting cheating up again.
i can understand where you are coming from but the whole you shouldn't have married me thing isn't to justify anything i did what i did and i can't change my past. but if it was going to be a problem she should have talked to me about if before we did marry
perhaps she didn't realize it was going to be a problem.
Do you really plan to wave that flag, the "well why did you marry me then" flag every time she dislikes your action?
What do you think that will accomplish?
Will it make her stop disliking your extramarital friendships, or at least stop her from complaining about them?"
Or will it make her ask the same thing... Ask herself, "Why did I marry him?" ... perhaps asking herself that question all the way to the lawyer's office?
is it normal for a wife to want you to not have friends but her own?
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"i had just moved out of town"
"my wife could have turned down my marriage proposal"
The first is an excuse
The second is ... blaming your wife?
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tonsoffun300zx
11 years ago
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there was no excuse for my cheating but it happened and i feel bad for it. but at the same time she could have told me to hold off till she was completly over it or not have married at all. i believe marrying someone means that you understand there past no matter what happened and accept them for who they are not for what they did. my wife used to use cocaine for about 4-5 years before i met her and i understand that and don't hold that against her,although i could i don't why because her past is just that the past. if we dwell on the past we will never be able to move on to the future. or atleast thats what i think.
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
11 years ago
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If you value your marriage as much as you say you do.... you may want to consider why you want to fight her so much on associating with other women.
The more you blame her for marrying you despite your past the more I wonder if she perhaps isn't incorrect in her questioning of your motives.
After all... it's not hard to imagine a man who says "well you should have thought about this before marrying me" as justification of his prior cheating.... and turning it into justification for starting cheating up again.
--
tonsoffun300zx
11 years ago
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i can understand where you are coming from but the whole you shouldn't have married me thing isn't to justify anything i did what i did and i can't change my past. but if it was going to be a problem she should have talked to me about if before we did marry
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
11 years ago
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perhaps she didn't realize it was going to be a problem.
Do you really plan to wave that flag, the "well why did you marry me then" flag every time she dislikes your action?
What do you think that will accomplish?
Will it make her stop disliking your extramarital friendships, or at least stop her from complaining about them?"
Or will it make her ask the same thing... Ask herself, "Why did I marry him?" ... perhaps asking herself that question all the way to the lawyer's office?