Is it normal for a girl my age to feel all these things?
I am a 22 year old island girl living my family in the states who hates my guts. So I don't do much here at all. I have no tv, no personnal space. I talked to my parents about wanting to go back home but they are more afraid about what others might think if I do. Its cold and lonely and I feel terribly depressed until I cry at nights. I really don't know what to do. I feel like a disappointment and sometimes I feel like killing myself. Its so hard feeling lost in life.
A "friend" of mine destroyed my love life by telling all my secrets to all my friends. My boyfriend and I had broken up and I was seeing someone else. I decided to get back with him since I really did love him but he had some ways that needed changing. I had a male best friend who told my other friend who he met through me about my peronnal life because he liked me and I didn't want to be with him. So he started dating my friend for spite but I didn't care because I didn't want him. Funny thing is is that she knew that he liked me but still went about dating him. My girlfriend turned around and told my boyfriends best friend what she had heard from my bestfriend and that dude told my boyfriend. So at that point my entire social life was fucked. It still is because I had little friends to begin with. I mean the ones that I have, I don't trust them as they talked about things that I told them in secrecy. I don't know who to trust anymore.
My dad cheats on my mom and he doesn't care. On top of that neither of my parents and I have a good relationship. We done go out, we don't converse much. My mom can be nice but she is very miserable, and my dad I don't know if he is proud of me because he doesn't really cling to me. My mom isn't very supportive of my life decision, instead she compares my life to my other friends which she barely knows anything about so it makes me feel as though she thinks they are better than I am. I don't like discussing my personal life with her because she inevitably throws it back in my face when she gets angry.
On top of that I am an only child with no siblings whatsoever. I feel lonely in the world. So cold and Lonely. I don't know what to do and every time I come up with a conclusion I feel confident in it for a minute and not in the next. I feel empty as a person. I feel weak and vulnerable. There is so much negative going on for my life and it has been this way for years. I just want to know if Im the only one with all these issues in their life? beacuse I feel like I am the only one with all these problems. Does dropping out of school and regrouping to go to a next one that is more comfortable mean that I am a failure? Do people have parents like these? Should I stick to being a loner? I need help cuz I think Im about to lose it.