Yes, I have thought of that, however, it seems as though it is more a matter of the mom glued to electronics than a small little thing being out of place (of COURSE that happens all the time, esp w the youngest child being 7 years old; things aren't going to be perfect, and it shouldn't always fall to the oldest girl to be yelled at for), and i know that her mom's responses are hardly ever rational, and are really a matter of her emotions at the time. (once when i was over, the girl was washing the dishes and dropped a plate, but her mom gave her an evil look, but said that it was an accident and was ok(this girl really isn't clumsy, she was about 9 when she dropped the plate, and was getting the hang of things then, so that was pretty understandable), but then, a few months later, she drops a pen. It doesn't explode or anything, but she got in LOADS of trouble for doing it, and the dish she broke was brought up, and from then on it was a war-zone of one way attacks of "ur lazy!!!!/ why do u always have to distract me!!!!, etc, etc" ) totally unpredictable... and very scary when she explodes (like if there was a knife in the room, i would be worried she'd kill someone, although these rages don't happen very often)... thanks for your time, i really appreciate all opinions on the matter :)
oh yeah well the mum is probably highly neurotic, possibly OCD and has anger management issues.
Sometimes when older children get in trouble for things younger children are responsible for it's because of the frustration at lack of leadership.
Oh my gosh, that is one thing that really annoys me about her mom... the mom goes on to get angry at her daughter and says "they are like this because of YOUR poor example," even though it was really the mom they got it from (like angry outbursts, and lack of any control at some points). Thanks so much for your time...
yeah sure okay I can see your point but if the girl is failing to show leadership you can understand how that can be frustrating for the mother. It is part of upbringing to get your children to assume responsibility and maturity which comes from leadership.
I don't think she is (granted, i am not always around to witness it). She seems to be very down to earth, but she is pretty introverted, so she doesn't exactly raise them or anything. Both parents are gone to work for a lot of the day, so she ends up being the 'parent' most of the time, but she has been doing this since she was maybe 12 or 13 or so, and really shouldn't have been responsible for so much (three younger siblings that she had to watch, while constantly cleaning their messes, and getting homework done). I know u are probably more qualified than i am to know if she is really an annoyance to her mom, but i know i would be doing much worse than she was if i was in her place...
Is it normal for a friend's parent to yell so much?
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Yes, I have thought of that, however, it seems as though it is more a matter of the mom glued to electronics than a small little thing being out of place (of COURSE that happens all the time, esp w the youngest child being 7 years old; things aren't going to be perfect, and it shouldn't always fall to the oldest girl to be yelled at for), and i know that her mom's responses are hardly ever rational, and are really a matter of her emotions at the time. (once when i was over, the girl was washing the dishes and dropped a plate, but her mom gave her an evil look, but said that it was an accident and was ok(this girl really isn't clumsy, she was about 9 when she dropped the plate, and was getting the hang of things then, so that was pretty understandable), but then, a few months later, she drops a pen. It doesn't explode or anything, but she got in LOADS of trouble for doing it, and the dish she broke was brought up, and from then on it was a war-zone of one way attacks of "ur lazy!!!!/ why do u always have to distract me!!!!, etc, etc" ) totally unpredictable... and very scary when she explodes (like if there was a knife in the room, i would be worried she'd kill someone, although these rages don't happen very often)... thanks for your time, i really appreciate all opinions on the matter :)
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Holzman_67
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oh yeah well the mum is probably highly neurotic, possibly OCD and has anger management issues.
Sometimes when older children get in trouble for things younger children are responsible for it's because of the frustration at lack of leadership.
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Oh my gosh, that is one thing that really annoys me about her mom... the mom goes on to get angry at her daughter and says "they are like this because of YOUR poor example," even though it was really the mom they got it from (like angry outbursts, and lack of any control at some points). Thanks so much for your time...
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Holzman_67
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yeah sure okay I can see your point but if the girl is failing to show leadership you can understand how that can be frustrating for the mother. It is part of upbringing to get your children to assume responsibility and maturity which comes from leadership.
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I don't think she is (granted, i am not always around to witness it). She seems to be very down to earth, but she is pretty introverted, so she doesn't exactly raise them or anything. Both parents are gone to work for a lot of the day, so she ends up being the 'parent' most of the time, but she has been doing this since she was maybe 12 or 13 or so, and really shouldn't have been responsible for so much (three younger siblings that she had to watch, while constantly cleaning their messes, and getting homework done). I know u are probably more qualified than i am to know if she is really an annoyance to her mom, but i know i would be doing much worse than she was if i was in her place...