I think you need to relax. You're making him sound like a thing, not a person. When I was his age I hated people that would treat me like the way you're describing. Why are certain behaviors that are acceptable for adults abnormal for children?
To answer this post, as well as your other post, I think they're both pretty normal things. Do you remember what it was like to be his age? I loved to watch scary movies and go to haunted houses even though it gave me nightmares. It makes you feel brave. As far as this girl goes... do you know her side of the story about everything? I don't think them hanging out is strange at all. I have always had friends that were older, and younger than myself, although I prefer people my own age.
Maybe she has her own issues. Maybe they are temporary and she will become amiable when things in her life are better. Maybe they will never go away and her behavior will never change. If you feel like her behavior is detrimental to your son then perhaps you should try and coax him to no longer hang out with people that make him feel bad.
Thank you for your honest and straightforward reply. I definitely don't want to objectify my son. I do try to put myself in his shoes, and also to recall my own feelings when I was his age.
The biggest issue for me is that I was very different to my son in terms of temperament, when I was his age. Yes, I liked ghost stories and haunted houses, and liked scary films. But for one thing, the sort of scary films I saw were not as graphic in terms of violence as current scary films. For another, I was not as sensitive, and never had night terrors or anything like that.
My older son was not keen on horror films at his brother's age, so this wasn't an issue with him. He also was much less sensitive in general. Every child is different, so what worked with his brother doesn't always work with him
As for the issue with the older girl, I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is a thirteen year old child, after all. I don't think she is a bad person, and don't want to add to any trouble she has. However, when she seems to have a negative impact on my son, I naturally want to defend and protect my son.
As I said in a previous post, the thing that concerns me is more the fact that she is so much older, but so much less mature. My son is, in my opinion, in the normal range when it comes to maturity levels for a nine year old. So, it concerns me when a thirteen year old repeatedly puts him in a position where he essentially has to look after her.
Thank you for your well-thought-out response. You've given me food for thought, and I appreciate your being candid.
You sound like a great parent. I'm just trying to point out things that you could improve on and give you a different perspective. There's always room for improvement.
Could you try to speak to her parents and find out a little bit more about her?
Is it normal for a child to have considerably older friends?
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I think you need to relax. You're making him sound like a thing, not a person. When I was his age I hated people that would treat me like the way you're describing. Why are certain behaviors that are acceptable for adults abnormal for children?
To answer this post, as well as your other post, I think they're both pretty normal things. Do you remember what it was like to be his age? I loved to watch scary movies and go to haunted houses even though it gave me nightmares. It makes you feel brave. As far as this girl goes... do you know her side of the story about everything? I don't think them hanging out is strange at all. I have always had friends that were older, and younger than myself, although I prefer people my own age.
Maybe she has her own issues. Maybe they are temporary and she will become amiable when things in her life are better. Maybe they will never go away and her behavior will never change. If you feel like her behavior is detrimental to your son then perhaps you should try and coax him to no longer hang out with people that make him feel bad.
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gryphon70
11 years ago
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Thank you for your honest and straightforward reply. I definitely don't want to objectify my son. I do try to put myself in his shoes, and also to recall my own feelings when I was his age.
The biggest issue for me is that I was very different to my son in terms of temperament, when I was his age. Yes, I liked ghost stories and haunted houses, and liked scary films. But for one thing, the sort of scary films I saw were not as graphic in terms of violence as current scary films. For another, I was not as sensitive, and never had night terrors or anything like that.
My older son was not keen on horror films at his brother's age, so this wasn't an issue with him. He also was much less sensitive in general. Every child is different, so what worked with his brother doesn't always work with him
As for the issue with the older girl, I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is a thirteen year old child, after all. I don't think she is a bad person, and don't want to add to any trouble she has. However, when she seems to have a negative impact on my son, I naturally want to defend and protect my son.
As I said in a previous post, the thing that concerns me is more the fact that she is so much older, but so much less mature. My son is, in my opinion, in the normal range when it comes to maturity levels for a nine year old. So, it concerns me when a thirteen year old repeatedly puts him in a position where he essentially has to look after her.
Thank you for your well-thought-out response. You've given me food for thought, and I appreciate your being candid.
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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You sound like a great parent. I'm just trying to point out things that you could improve on and give you a different perspective. There's always room for improvement.
Could you try to speak to her parents and find out a little bit more about her?