Is it normal for a 48 yo dad to share a bed with his 8 yo daughter?

42% Normal
21 Comments

I have been dating a man for just over 6 months. He is divorced a year and has custodial care of his 8yo daughter. He and I are intimate and have stated our love for eachother. I have yet to meet his daughter because he says he does not want her to be hurt. That also makes me feel like he isnt as serious about us as I am about us. He has met my 2 sons already who are 15, and 19. He shares his bed with his daughter as well. There was no 'family bed' while he was married. I do not feel it is normal for him to be sleeping with her when she is with him. Yes there is a pull out sofa which he could easily use. Thank you.

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 118 votes (50 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Melly
    12 years ago

    She's just eight years old. If she was older, then yes. It could be considered weird. Maybe she feels safer sleeping near her dad, especially now that her mother isn't there anymore.
    It's not uncommon for children to sleep in the same bed as their parents and that isn't considered creepy so why is it weird just because the mother isn't there? Like Bensgirl227 said: Not everyone is a child molester.

    As for the reason why you haven't met the daughter yet:
    It's possible that she has expressed a wish not to meet you yet and her father doesn't want to force you on her. I didn't want to meet my mum's new boyfriend for the longest time after my parents split up and I was 18 at the time. An 8-year-old wanting that isn't too far-fetched.

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  • aicvisa
    12 years ago

    Actually many cultures believe in co-sleeping.

    Jesus, chill.

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    • tryinnotcryin
      12 years ago

      In AMERICAN culture, I do not recall this being typical.

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      • nine
        12 years ago

        no one mentioned anything about being an American. Don't assume everyone is. It's a big world and less than 5% of the people in it are from the United States.

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        • tryinnotcryin
          12 years ago

          Nine,
          If you want to give an answer to the actual question great. If not please keep your opinion to yourself.
          This question was in no way about culture. Im smart enough to know about family beds, ergo why I mentioned it in the original question.

          Thanks and have a nice day!

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  • Bensgirl227
    12 years ago

    maybe the girl is upset about the divorce, and since he has custody of her maybe shes afraid shes going to lose her dad too? Not everyone is a child molester.

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  • wheresmytardis
    12 years ago

    Why does everyone assume men are automatically perverted? Chill out.

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  • zenji
    12 years ago

    If he's having sex with his daughter, its not normal. If he is sleeping next to her, that's atypical.

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    • tryinnotcryin
      12 years ago

      atypical??? Are you nuts?

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      • zenji
        12 years ago

        No. I took the MMPI, I am certifiably not 'nuts'. Read what I wrote, not what you read into it.

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  • legendary27
    12 years ago

    That is not normal. That is not normal at all.
    I would seriously ask him about that and be very cautious with this person because him sleeping with his daughter like that is clearly a red flag.
    But you go with your gut.
    Good luck to you.

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  • Verstehen
    12 years ago

    She might be experiencing nightmares or anxiety since the divorce. If this is the case, it might be good for her to sleep next to her dad for a while. Maybe she cries at night. However, it has been a year and this should come to an end VERY soon. She's very likely to become confused if it continues, especially when she gets older and thinks back to it. She might find herself on this site asking if it's normal, but with more sexual concerns. Not good.
    He should try other things, maybe get her a bear with "I love you" stitched on it or something so she won't feel alone at night. He should schedule a couple of weekly outings with her- just father-daughter time, and find other ways to make her feel that she's not alone, the divorce is not her fault, and her dad still loves her.

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  • wuddeva
    12 years ago

    Let's all jump on the sex train. That works. It really is inevitable that people will think molestation right away. Your wording implied it slightly, but it is still a bit much to believe it straight away.. Anyways, I personally don't believe that it is right to sleep with your daughter. He probably does this to fill the emotional hole of his wife. It doesn't seem particularly healthy, in that respect. Go with your gut, though.

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  • tryinnotcryin
    12 years ago

    I would like to thank all the people who responded.<BR><BR>I would also like to state that NOT ONCE did I imply that anything sexual was going on. Some people responded as if I said that. The people who jumped down my throat should take a harder look at THEMSELVES because I never said that.<BR><BR>I was more concerned with a healthy father daughter relationship and wondering if sleeping in the same bed at this age was appropriate, PERIOD.<BR><BR>So to those who jumped down my throat, seek therapy of your own. I was looking for honest advice that did not relate to anything sexual, I would have said the same thing if the child were a boy. I feel it is a matter of growing up.

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    • zenji
      12 years ago

      That's even worse to me. If it doesn't even occur to you that there is something sexual going on, then what are you stressing about??? This is stupid. Personal bubbles vary across cultures. Big deal.

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  • Inspector019
    12 years ago

    Nahh that's not normal...creepy

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  • Audacia
    12 years ago

    It's not normal but hope for the best it's innocent.

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  • seali001
    12 years ago

    Gee whiz..lets not jump to conclusions...I was still a baby when I was eight years old..If I was living with my dad and wanted to sleep with him at that age there wouldn't have been anything sexual happening..It sounds like she is just a daaddy's girl and OP is just jealous..Maybe OP was sexually abused as a child.

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  • kyanviado
    12 years ago

    Honestly, the question is what type of relationship does he have with his daughter? I would be concerned that it might be sexual and probably needs investigating mainly because he has not let you meet her, why is he divorced in the first place. Secondly he does not sound to honest, what can he offer you in a relationship. To me its either he talks to you with a very good explanation of the whole thing or get out of the relationship and talk to the authorities about it.

    I would have concerns for
    1. Your children and yourselves safety
    2. His own daughter's safety

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  • POM
    12 years ago

    THIS IS PROBABLY VERY DANGEROUS!!!

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  • chicken471bologna
    12 years ago

    Sounds innocent if you ask. Geez, why does everyone automatically assume all men a perverts!?

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