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I am outside i can hear the sound of children shouting and laughing in the sunshine enjoying themselfs everytime i see someone enjoying something i get into a jealous rage as i will never enjoy anything in life does anyone feel this way too or is it just me am i living with the wrong species.
When spring started, I wanted to hide away from the sun and all the happy families enjoying the neighborhood. Just seeing that kind of thing made me feel awful inside.
That was one of the first signs that lead me to realize that my antidepressant wasn't working properly anymore (among other things like urges to harm myself and others). I talked to my psychiatrist and he prescribed me a new antidepressant and now I'm doing a lot better.
If your moods are seriously having a negative impact on your daily life, I would consider seeing a therapist. From there, they can decide if you need medication (which requires a psychiatrist).
Yes, it is normal to feel awful when you dont have much happiness in your life and see other people that seem to be perfectly content. But, I think I feel more sad than jealous. I also remember there were times in my life when I seemed happy to others but in reality I felt like s$%t and my life was not exactly a picnic. I think that is why I dont envy people that "look" happy because truth is, true happiness is very rare. Most people are just not aware or dont want to acknowledge their dissatisfaction about certain aspects of their lives or themselves and so they lead pseudo happy lives.
Your brain conforms to the language you use. If you tell yourself you will never enjoy the same happiness as other people, you will find you are correct. You said it was a jealous reaction, so clearly you want to be happy on some level - but we can't compare our happiness to others. You will never know them, you can only assume they are experiencing something you are not. It has nothing to do with your species, it has to do with a belief. I have felt that nothing would ever make me happy, I was so very wrong.
Tbh I am having a very depressing summer and watching people being happy and having fun on holidays kinda hurts me so it's normal to me