Is it cheating to talk about sexual fantasies?

69% Normal
6 Comments

I confessed anonymously about having a sexual fantasy and then ended up describing it to a stranger via anonymous messaging. I w asnt trying to arouse them or role play or get dirty with this stranger I was just trying to get the thoughts out. But now I feel bad, despite not flirting with the person or trying to arouse them. Is it cheating just to talk to people about your fantasies even if you're not trying to be dirty with them? (To clarify in our relationship, sexting would count as cheating but this is not quite the same) I feel bad and love him very much. Should I tell him about it and see how he feels? Idk if he would understand..

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 16 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Errestrum
    6 years ago

    I don't think this is cheating at all. There is no intent. In my opinion you were doing then what you are doing in this post. Getting others opinions about something that is important to you.

    I'm guessing you actually want to tell your partner about your sexual fantasies, but you are a bit anxious about what the response would be. So you were 'testing out the waters' with telling a stranger instead.
    If this guess is correct, then this is actually the opposite of cheating.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    6 years ago

    No, that's not cheating at all, you weren't looking to roleplay, you didn't, and things didn't go any further than just talking about an idea that happened to be about a sexual act.

    People have a lot of weird hangups when it comes to even discussing sexuality, and while there are circumstances where that would be inappropriate (say in a work environment) talking about these things with people online, or even close friends, is perfectly healthy.

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  • CreamPuffs
    6 years ago

    It's not cheating.

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  • Nutmegf
    6 years ago

    no

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  • Anongirl26
    6 years ago

    I personally feel like there was a lack of intention to cheat anyway. I definitely won't do it again but in the moment, I didn't think of it as flirting with someone else or anything arousing.

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    If you walk down the street past me in a business suit, and something about you leaves me feeling sexually aroused, are you responsible for that?

    Even if the stranger you messaged was aroused by your fantasy, that wasn't your intention, so I don't see how you can suspect yourself of being guilty of some form of cheating.

    If you're not sure your boyfriend would see things this way, then I think you should take a step back and ask yourself some questions about the nature of your relationship and what sort of guy he is. Does he have the right to censor your thoughts and fantasies? Are you not allowed any privacy?

    I can see how there are hazards in sexting with people you know, but how precisely would he be harmed if you were to engage in role-play with anonymous strangers online?

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