You remind me of myself. I’m currently watching a family member going through the motions of putting her all into helping everyone around her before doing anything for herself. They take advantage. She thinks of it as them giving her purpose. I think back to how I felt in similar situations and want to shout “what do YOU want? This is a slippery slope! You’ll have nothing left if you go on like this!”
Enough about me. Now about you. It is imperative to be selfish in this life. “Selfish” is a harsh word; if it makes you feel better, consider substituting it with “self-serving”. The golden rule, treat others as you would like to be treated, only works in a utopia where everyone holds themselves to that standard and provides room for others to take the pedestal from time to time. That’s not how our rat race society functions. If you cannot be self-serving you will end up with nothing. Balance this with altruism once you have the stability to offer yourself because you have plenty. Give the shirt from your garage, not the shirt off your back. It might surprise you to find that by living this way your ability to help others will increase. You won’t find yourself in a state of resentment for those you’ve helped never considering your needs.
Here is a revised golden rule: treat YOURSELF the way you would treat someone you are responsible for helping. It is not unkind. It is an investment toward future kindness.
As for how that factors into your decision for moving, I cannot say. It depends on a lot of things a full conversation could only get to the bottom of. But I hope this helps you make the right decision to further your future goals.
This is something I definitely struggle with! Someone commented that it’s not fair that I’m 21 and co-dependent. Most of the time I spend at home is used to refine myself and really try to strengthen my personality and values. I feel mostly raw and unprepared for changes that I don’t seek because I haven’t been motivated enough to reach goals for myself as a lot of my actions are to help others. I really want to be self-serving enough to balance altruism and budding confidence (wherever or whenever I find it) but I tend to make excuses because I don’t want to mess up. Perfectionism and self-comparison are some common reasons/excuses as to why I find it hard to support myself and appreciate myself. I’m afraid the world I’ll try to step on me. Instead I opt to dream and make small strides in hopes that I can make bigger goals and start relying on myself in little steps. I just wish it was easier and made more sense is all. But I really appreciate the positivity in your post!! :-)
Is it alright to be a bit selfish?
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You remind me of myself. I’m currently watching a family member going through the motions of putting her all into helping everyone around her before doing anything for herself. They take advantage. She thinks of it as them giving her purpose. I think back to how I felt in similar situations and want to shout “what do YOU want? This is a slippery slope! You’ll have nothing left if you go on like this!”
Enough about me. Now about you. It is imperative to be selfish in this life. “Selfish” is a harsh word; if it makes you feel better, consider substituting it with “self-serving”. The golden rule, treat others as you would like to be treated, only works in a utopia where everyone holds themselves to that standard and provides room for others to take the pedestal from time to time. That’s not how our rat race society functions. If you cannot be self-serving you will end up with nothing. Balance this with altruism once you have the stability to offer yourself because you have plenty. Give the shirt from your garage, not the shirt off your back. It might surprise you to find that by living this way your ability to help others will increase. You won’t find yourself in a state of resentment for those you’ve helped never considering your needs.
Here is a revised golden rule: treat YOURSELF the way you would treat someone you are responsible for helping. It is not unkind. It is an investment toward future kindness.
As for how that factors into your decision for moving, I cannot say. It depends on a lot of things a full conversation could only get to the bottom of. But I hope this helps you make the right decision to further your future goals.
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mr_awesome
3 years ago
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This is something I definitely struggle with! Someone commented that it’s not fair that I’m 21 and co-dependent. Most of the time I spend at home is used to refine myself and really try to strengthen my personality and values. I feel mostly raw and unprepared for changes that I don’t seek because I haven’t been motivated enough to reach goals for myself as a lot of my actions are to help others. I really want to be self-serving enough to balance altruism and budding confidence (wherever or whenever I find it) but I tend to make excuses because I don’t want to mess up. Perfectionism and self-comparison are some common reasons/excuses as to why I find it hard to support myself and appreciate myself. I’m afraid the world I’ll try to step on me. Instead I opt to dream and make small strides in hopes that I can make bigger goals and start relying on myself in little steps. I just wish it was easier and made more sense is all. But I really appreciate the positivity in your post!! :-)