Is is normal to still love a guy who was a complete asshole to you?

It's time to move on.

You're not really in love with him. You're loving the memory of how it use to be, back when he was nicer to you.

And you're thinking to yourself that you won't find someone new - or that you don't deserve it.

Break all contact with him. Be alone. Take time to heal.

All you're doing right now is torturing yourself.