In that i'm a very nice guy but have uncontrollable anger at times?

46% Normal
40 Comments

Everyone who knows me well thinks that I'm a total pushover. And I am. But there is another side. When I finally do lose my temper, I can't control my actions. I had a gang member in Cali humiliate my girlfriend, and I made him bite the curb. 17 years later, I had a judge sentence me to anger management and one year suspended sentence for "verbal abuse of an officer of the law".

I usually let things go. I guess I bottle things up to the point of explosion. Is this normal?

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 26 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 40 )
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    If you truly want to be a nice person, you should seek psychiatric help. You could try to pin point the cause of your anger.

    It sounds like there may be some underlying issues here.

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    • redrainbow22
      5 years ago

      He seems fine to me

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        Anything "uncontrollable" is problematic. Beating up the gang member was pretty much justified though. It probably wasn't the smart thing to do, however.

        Getting beef with gangs can be very dangerous.

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        • Zandonus
          5 years ago

          To the gangs. They're nothing but bullies with connections.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          It wasn't justified, man. Kicking his ass would be justified. Making him bite the curb was downright off the chain.

          I don't know why I can lose control like this. Maybe it's that violence is so far away from my nature that when I'm finally moved to violence I don't know how to react.

          No matter what it is, I know that I have to find the answer, or one day I'll wind up in prison or dead in a ditch. The anger management system doesn't work for me, so I guess I need deeper therapy.

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  • FubarMcGinty
    5 years ago

    I have the same issue. I also have the patience of a saint so in a situation where I know I'm gonna get mad and loose it, I bottle it up until I'm shaking and the other person thinks I'm shaking with fear but I'm actually getting filled with adrenalin ready to attack. After seeing a psychologist, I now understand that A. I have an anxiety disorder brought on by being bullied to the point that my mind refuses to relax and B. This has triggered an over active fight or flight response. Basically, I hold it in cause I'm anxious of what may happen until I snap and the fight instinct kicks in and hell breaks loose.

    Best thing I learned to do was just walk away. Bad situation, walk away. Someone in your face, walk away. You getting angry for any reason, just walk away.

    In fact if someone's purposely trying to wind you up, laugh at them, it winds them up instead and can get quite amusing lol

    Also, to vent built up bottled rage, I do boxing. I get to punch the shit out of a bag every day of the week and feel amazing afterwards. You'll walk out of that gym like nothing can bother you. Even fighting another person is fun but I don't like hurting people so I mainly stick to the bags or pads.

    Best of luck dude, you're not alone!

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Gang members are generally weak cowards who bully people and make out their tough because there is a lot of them. Police are pretty much the same but a lot worse because they are in a legalised gang of bullies.

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  • factcheck
    5 years ago

    Yeah, you definitely need anger management. You need to learn how to not bottle things up.

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  • Mark92
    5 years ago

    I am just the same, i am almost always nice to people and try to help everyone in anyway possible, but when I am enraged I say terrible stuffs to them and with huge efforts restrain myself from hurting them physically, I once broke a chair slamming it when I was angry with a friend...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Just don't do permanent damage to anyone. You will regret it.

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  • redrainbow22
    5 years ago

    How did he humiliate your girlfriend?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Disgusting sexual touching. He was black.

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      • palepunk
        5 years ago

        What does the qualifier of him
        being black have to do with anything?

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      • redrainbow22
        5 years ago

        Seriously you and your girlfriend if anything are the victims here, of some asshole trying to get all in your space and touch your girlfriend.

        You shouldn't be randomly touching girls sexually anyway to begin with.

        The Judge is retarded. California has backwards laws. So this actually makes sense to me.

        Thats like defending your home against a thief, and the Judge blaming you for DEFENDING YOUR HOME.

        I just think people are getting too soft, not only soft, but to the point where even defending yourself now is considered bad by some of these cucks.

        Masculinity is being attacked. And it's time it stops.

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      • redrainbow22
        5 years ago

        People need to keep their hands to themselves.

        I think your Judge is a cuck

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      • redrainbow22
        5 years ago

        I would probably beat him too

        What are you talking about? lol

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      • redrainbow22
        5 years ago

        Dont let people tell you your masculinity is toxic.

        Your masculinity is this situation is perfectly acceptable

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        • Ellenna
          5 years ago

          So uncontrolled rage is masculinity?

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          • redrainbow22
            5 years ago

            Did I say uncontrolled?

            Maybe OP just thinks it's uncontrolled cause he's been brainwashed by the Judge and some cucks.

            Maybe. Maybe not

            Question is, does OP know of any other time where he couldnt control his anger? And what where the situations, and how many times?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              5 years ago

              It's been a few times over the years. I cold cocked a co worker at my house after work and scared my wife to death, simply because he made her face turn red and look down for some comment that she still won't tell me he said... yet another time I took things too far.

              I don't think you are understanding; I know that confrontation is justified in these situations, but the extent that I take them to is not. An ass whooping is often deserved. Torture and permanent damage is ( usually) not. I need to fix this before I wind up in a lot of trouble.

              You see, when you are a guy like me who turns the other cheek so often, people begin to see you as someone who they can push around. It is only a matter of time before you lash out on these people. Think about it.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Gang bangers are garbage.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      I would agree. But did I not take it way too far? Do you know what biting the curb is? Not only did I make him bite the curb, but I kicked him twice. Even I know it was uncalled for.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Yeah, I just googled it to be sure. You are really lucky that you weren't arrested, and that some other gang bangers didn't come after you for revenge for what you did. You keep this shit up, and someone might come after you to kill you.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          You are preaching to the choir. I know quite well that I have a problem, but I don't know how to fix it or if it can even be fixed. I don't want to go to prison for losing my temper.

          Although, it doesn't happen very often, so maybe I just need to avoid people or situations where I might be triggered to violence.

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            Maybe you can look for an anger management class to attend?

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    You might want to try methods of effectively releasing the stress periodically, like breaking glass or smashing stuff in a controlled environment.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      I realize that. It's just that my upbringing and personality tell me to avoid confrontation, but my primal instincts take over at times. I'm working on it.

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      • Ellenna
        5 years ago

        Great that you acknowledge the problem: how exactly are you "working on it"? It's very unlikely you'll be able to change this without professional help.

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        Good. Primal instincts are not always right. You always have to filter those rationally before you take action.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Not normal. And not really justifiable. But sometimes worthy. I would avoid getting into trouble like that.

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    • Pussy_Destroyer_69
      5 years ago

      A man has to do what a man has to do.

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        Like what

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        • Pussy_Destroyer_69
          5 years ago

          Like punching another person in the face, or getting hit defending someone, or accepting responsibility... You know, the honourable stuff.

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          • [Old Memory]
            5 years ago

            Yes that makes sense. But only where that's the only way. Otherwise, you get into trouble when you can avoid them. In the case of defending her girl, if he can't simply retreat with her somewhere safe and avoid a confrontation, then of course combat is justified and I'd say manly. Otherwise it's wise to stay safe, you don't need to prove anybody anything, just to stay safe. But he seems to overreact where it is not a necessity. It's just that he can't control it. That leads to problems he doesn't need as results of actions that doesn't help him. Sounds different to me and shouldn't be done. You don't really want to get suspended from job/uni/school or get into trouble over minor things that can easily be avoided, like verbaly attacking a police officer when you can simply ignore the potential bullshit and move on.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              5 years ago

              Good interpretation of what I meant. So, what do you suggest? I've made a lifetime of avoiding confrontation with fairly good results, but I guess it's the times when I can't back out and can't diffuse the situation that I feel cornered and desperate, and thusly feel as though I need to lash out. And boy, do I lash out. I cringe to admit it but when I made old gangster bit the curb, I did it twice. It wasn't like an adrenaline rush where you black out, on the contrary, I was very focused and just wanted to punish him. It was such bad trauma to his face that I remember his jaw hanging so far out of place that it almost looked like it was unattached. A guy I was riding with that night ran into the same guy a year or so later and said his face and jaw were still distorted. I kind of regret it now.

              Obviously, there is something wrong with the way I react to being threatened. Even I can see it. I just want to know how to fix it before I wind up in prison or getting beaten to death. I guess I'm looking for answers here. And please don't say anger management, cuz that shit is pathetic!

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          • [Old Memory]
            5 years ago

            Does this sound like "the honorable stuff"?

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            • Pussy_Destroyer_69
              5 years ago

              Yes. Humiliation deserves that.

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