Im racist and i dont want to be!

You're not racist. If anything, the people who have bullied you are the real racists. The bullying has just made you hypersensitive, which is quite understandable. You thinking that you're "better" than others is just your way of coping with the crap that others are giving you. It's just your own frail attempt salvage your already well-beaten self esteem. I mean you said it yourself: "I kept thinking of myself as 'better' than them, which is totally bs". You KNOW that you're not better than anyone, so you're not racist. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. However, you are likely to offend small-minded people with stories like this, as you can tell by some of these disrespectful comments you are getting.

And just ignore the comment by urbanelitexoxo; he's just a racist! ;)

It's a normal human instinct to dislike people who are different to you, but being an evolved and decent human being also means ignoring these feelings.

As long as you treat everyone with respect and kindness it doesn't matter what thoughts you have in your head.

You've said you don't want to be racist...this makes me thing you probably aren't just that it's a learned reaction to people who have taunted you in the past.

Just remember to try and never judge ANYONE before you meet them. Even if preconceived thoughts enter your head about them...try and remind yourself that it's probably not true.

Haha I have been in a similar situation at one point in my life. But because I'm a fairly good looking Chinese(or grew up to be one), the way how people treated me differently made me more out-going. Hey even a gay guy fell for me, and good looking girls(including white ones) giving me the look in subways, not the "I wanna hook up with you *winks*" look, but the *notices cute guy* look. Now that China is becoming the next world super power also helped me reaffirm my sense of identity. Finally, after being in this country in so long, I am kinda white-washed. I speak better English than some white people.

Bottom line, as soon as people around you stops hurting you, then you will start to change. You can do that by improving some parts of yourself or stop hanging around assholes.

I was never explicitly racist, but i guess just fearful. Some things you never grow out of, and even now I am still a bit cautious, but that's a good thing in this world to be a bit cautious.

p.s. Asian Pride!

Jonhy bravo she said hispanics so you don't know if they are mexicans. And "cheena" is spanish for chinese but you write like china

Dude its school, thats what happens 95% of the time, your not the only one who had it rough growing up. People any age/gender/race gets picked on at school and you can only push through and fight your bullier s, don't stay being the victim. Oh and your not racist you just don't know how to understand the situations that you are dealing with. You are better than them in a certain sense but that has nothing to do with racism, it has to do with you being a better person. Race has nothing to do with that.

I understad what you're going through. It sucks. This country can be so mean to people who aren't of their race.

1.Never relax around blacks
2.Ditch your black,Mexican friends ... Find Asian friends
3.Learn karate your Asian c'mon
4.Kick some ass
5.Don't stop being a racist

you're a judgemental a-hole. because of the actions of a handful of people you now judge everyone because of the way they look. "oh hes black so hes going to bully me" dont listen to btbam51... you ARE racist.

I'd say you're a product of the society that you were placed in. You probably are smarter than they are. ...so don't get down because of it, rise above it. Fuck narrow-minded people.

Thank you for your honesty. You're trying to be a nice person in a racist environment, after being the victim of crimes and after receiving racial slurs. It's not like any of those people came back and apologized to you -- if you felt hurt and angry, it's understandable. Aim for focusing on people as individuals, and you won't fall into the trap that the others did. You'll be able to separate the behavior from the person or the behavior from the racial group.

Oh you live in la. Nice, your Close ^_^
Mm People can be harsh :/
Ignore the bad comments
So you've had some bad expiriences, so do most people. You shouldn't let it affect you though. There are many good people out there. Just because one seed is bad, doesn't mean the rest are.