Iio i didn't fight girl my bf wanted me to

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13 Comments

I need advice. My boyfriend of 5 months and I met at our work. He'd been there 3 years. Shortly after I started, a woman from there was divorcing her wife and started liking me to soothe her. She has some anxiety issues with meds, so I thought it was going to blow over with time. Well my bf and her started little fits and he demanded I do something. So far it never left work break room and all that was done was her telling me she had feelings for me, dedicated a song, and said she wanted to wait for me after I told her I'm not leaving bf. This all before demand of solution. The next day I was in work parking lot, I get off before him and was waiting for him, and she comes walking out to my car to bum a smoke. He had saw her leave and left as well. Before I could even talk he comes out and starts yelling and demanding her to stay away. The next day she went to hr. Long story short he was suspended and then fired over it. He thinks I have part blame because I should have dealt with it sooner and also if it were him, he wouldn't have had someone that liked him alone talking to him. This is all right in front of guard shack which is how this was sowed. I figured since I only work and go home with him, and it would eventually die on her end, that it wasn't worth the time I needed for other things. Was I wrong. Is it my fault he lost his job?

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44% Normal
Based on 9 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    I think you were trying to help this girl too much and jeopardized your relationship. You should have put the brakes on much sooner and got away from her and advised her to seek help elsewhere.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Fair enough. In my partial defense it hadn't gone that way until 2 weeks before. I never encouraged that kind of behavior, told her there was no way I would be interested, that I loved the man I am with and the times she tried to broach the subject, I gathered my stuff and walked out. I always said that this is a conversation I wasn't ok with. She then started trying to type notes in her phone and show them to me because I would purposely ignore her when I knew she was going to try. That's when she started to dedicate songs to me. She was still trying to get me to listen. I did go to hr and tell them that they better keep her away from me because there was liable to be trouble. Told them she was trying to hit on me and after bf was ratted on, the first day, she kept trying to find a way to work right where I was. I would walk off and made my boss let me switch spots. She tried 3 times before she finally gave up. We have never talked since the incident and now there is tension everywhere. So i may agree that I could have done something sooner but don't agree that it was so much my fault that I caused detriment to my relationship. Short of losing my cool and job and letting her win, how should I have done more?

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      • lordofopinions
        5 years ago

        I can't see how your bf lost his job over this. You did report her to hr. You can approach hr again and tell them he thought this woman was harassing you (which she was) and that he was coming to your defense. I don't know if any of this will get your bf job back but in my opinion it was this other woman that should have been canned. If she continues to annoy you keep a diary of the incidences and report each one to hr.

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        • Kholden
          5 years ago

          Thank you for input. He and I try not to talk of it much right now. He is still looking for a job. The thing is, maybe he needed a reprimand for his conduct but he was made an example of or something. Originally he was to be suspended three days while they investigated. He had been the type that did everyone's work and his own skilled job working with a machine. He was never later than 15 minutes early and never called in. She's known by many to be lazy and go to hr every other week asking to be moved due to bullying. She has been everywhere at work and now has backed herself into where she's at now. Where he was working is suffering bad and they know what they lost. But I seem to be missing something. Lost our super intended within a week by hr and he told me the day after D wasnt coming back. She does keep finding a way to interact. She'll try to be there to hold a door or put her locker near mine. I now avoid and walk the other way from where I see her. Still feel I am towing a line, and all is about to come to a head.

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  • IrishPotato
    5 years ago

    I can kinda get him. Weird how he got fired.

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    • Kholden
      5 years ago

      I feel like they were unfair in that. He didn't touch her. Granted it was at work in the parking lot at work, there was a guard a few feet away, and somehow those 2 witnesses put him out

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  • LoveDenise
    5 years ago

    I think you could have handle it different and I also think that your bf had a thought that you would have handle it yourself...and once he didn't have the patience he blew up and started doing all those things it is a 50% yes it was your fault/50% no it wasn't your fault

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  • Kholden
    5 years ago

    Sorry kind of vague. I mean soothe in that she is already a little unstable and she was looking to me for comfort. She, like a lot of fresh breakups/divorced people, look for someone to fill the void or comfort them because they don't want to do anything alone. I had never hit on her or acknowledged any "relationship" talk she would broach.would ignore it and move on, and she easily forgot about it. Mainly I just told her that life would get better, and one thing she held onto was really innocent on my part that I think started this. She was at work and getting dizzy, noticeably, and was talking of fear of seizures. She then said she hadn't eaten in days due to stress and depression over wife. I just said she needed to eat and take care of herself, she was only hurting herself. Then I politely walked her to the Mexican truck on work parking lot and ordered her food for her. Then I left so she could eat by herself. She used anything to add a layer of comfort.

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    The way life works is pretty simple: you are responsible for your actions, and your boyfriend is responsible for his. It appears that your boyfriend hasn't yet grasped this very basic fact.

    There are many ways he could have handled the situation, but he chose to behave like a possessive, insecure, untrusting asshole. Not only that, he did it in public and at work, which even the dimmest of people should know was a damn stupid time and place to blow up.

    Frankly, he sounds like an immature loser who always tries to blame others for his mistakes. Is that really the sort of person you want to be with?

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    • Zeikfried
      5 years ago

      Ouch! that could have been a little more politically-correct. I agree with everything you said. Weird that you can find great advice on IIN these days

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    You're boyfriend sounds psycho, really does! Also can you please define what you mean by soothe?

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    • nikkiclaire
      5 years ago

      😂 I bet it's not what went through my mind 😂

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        It might be.

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