Iint that i am attracted to a woman,being a woman myself??

i am 40 years of age... i got married to a handsom fellow when i was 22..very smart and wealthy, caring...no complaints there, after being married for 20 years i am so very very attracted towards a woman who happens to be a relative.... and i thought this may be an infatuation or a diversion from my routine..but its been 3 years now.. we are best of friends...we go everywhere together..we spend the occasional night
at each other's place, we go out as a group (both our families) and we sleep hugging each other.....now ....tell me... what should i do... most of the time i am thinkg about her.. about making her happy..buying her presents... see a smile on her face.. and she knows about it.. she is also very protective towards me... cares for me a lot..we roam everywhere together... spend lot of time with each other..and both of us acknowledge that we cant live without each other..... though she does not touches me ,or hug me or say sentimental things about me....it is all(the toughing and hugging ) from my side....now how can i know if she wants to go further ahead with me or not?? or it is normal to do things which are not normal in india?? does she loves me in that way or is it just friendship?? what to do??please tell someone??

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 38 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Take a cold shower. Women, more than men, can get pretty touchy feely without anything sexual going on. I'm sorry if that seems a stereotype, but it is often (not always) true.

    My point is she has no reason to believe that anything sexual is going on, whereas you are having lesbian feelings.

    Here's why I say take the shower: there is nothing wrong with your lesbian feelings, but come to terms with them yourself, not blindly through an infatuation with a relative.

    You have a lot to think about, your husband, family, and repercussions should you approach and are spurned by this female relative.

    I don't know what else to suggest but: accept your feelings and behave like an adult about it, not an infatuated school girl crushing on someone.

    If you do approach your relative, perhaps start off with the subject of lesbian behaviour generally and gently; & slowly get a sense of her feelings and acceptance of the subject matter. If you feel safe, you could talk about your feelings generally (not about her). Yo get the picture.

    But watch what you wish for. Even if she is interested in you, think long and hard beforehand about what relationship you could have and its implications. Look very, very hard before you leap, should you choose to, into this.

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  • TonybigCock

    Nothing wrong with a bit of chuff munching, so long as you are both attractive.

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  • screwface69er

    Your a lesbian end of the day

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  • nanook026

    Though I've never personally been infatuated with a blood relative (or any relative at all, actually...) I know other people who have. I also know from my psych degree that this is more common than most people think. Not just the lesbian part - that part is perfectly normal in my opinion - but the infatuation with a relative part.

    I have read that these type of sexual infatuations are often the result of confusion. If you never had a very close relationship with a woman before, but have had with a man, than it might just feel normal to think there's a sexual undertone to it because there might have been in a close relationship in the past. So you equate the closeness with the sexuality...

    Another theory I read was about how sexual contact can create an almost artificial sense of closeness with another person. You mentioned that you hug and touch her, but she doesn't hug or touch you. Might it be possible that you want that physical contact, because you care deeply for her, and so you think of sexual contact because it gratifies a need for physical and emotional closeness with another person?

    But I'm not sure I believe or disbelieve either of these hypotheses. Just food for thought.

    I think you should do some serious self-reflection, think about the potential repercussions of your actions on everyone, and ultimately make a decision you can live with. Regardless of what that decision is, you have to know that it's one you will live with for the rest of you life. So once it's made, stick to it and remind yourself that, should you ever regret it, you did what you thought was the right thing to do at the time. That's all anyone can ask of themselves or others.

    As for the lesbian part, perfectly normal. Don't sweat it.

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  • Astr0caster

    Wasn't there an ep of the l word like this

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  • paperless

    I guess it's time for you and her to have 'the talk' that defines what you two are feeling for each other.

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  • Lockets

    You are very close so maybe you should be able to ask her if she wants to go further.
    What do you mean about 'not normal in India'?
    Is she a blood relative?
    Have you been sexually attracted to women before?

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    • indianfem

      @lockets..... thanks for your views...and she is not a blood relative...
      @ ollieo...above all we are best of friends.. we share all our thoughts and day to day things with each other...and i have tried to live without her.. but deep down i know i cant live without her... so may be i shouldnt disclose my inner feelings for her...

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  • JR1284

    WELL THATS EASY, KISS HER?

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    • indianfem

      brilliant idea..........

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