Ask Your Question today
Today I was in the bathroom and my very obviously male coworker comes in. Everyone refers to them as a she and I don't know if they're trans or what. I don't think they're on estrogen or make any sort of effort to pass as female (wears male clothes, very short hair, no makeup)
Should they be allowed to do this?
It’s a bathroom. Do your business in the stall and move on. I see the need for concern, but at least you have one less coworker you need to “loan” a tampon.
I’m a woman but if I were to cut my hair short, stop wearing makeup and put on some mens trousers and shirt would you expect me to use the men’s rest room? The point is that if she identifies as a female but puts on male clothes when she is at work that doesn’t make her any less of the gender to which she identifies
Not sure how my fellow TG here will feel about this but my opinion is this.
If someone wants to be taken more serious as whatever they are trying to present, they need to at least try to look the part.
Some TG pass well, others don't. If someone is at least trying to look like their chosen gender, it is more likely they will be respected as such.
Presentation goes for about everything. If you want to be treated the part, then present yourself as the part.
I have seen some TG who do little to nothing to present as female and I think, "what the hell are you doing?"
I think this makes sense. Personally I just go off how someone presents. Even if the person is very obviously male, if they're wearing female clothes and have girly hair etc then I wouldn't say a word about them using the female bathroom because they obviously are trying their best to live as a woman, even if it isn't working too well. That's their own business and of no threat to me. If they don't look particularly feminine and are still trying then life is probably really tough for them already, and they don't need a earful everytime they try and use the toilet.
If it's someone who is very clearly a man and is dressed like a man, and has made no attempt to look like a woman, and they followed my little girl into the female toilets, then I'd have a huge problem with that and would actually tell them to get out, and if they didn't I would make a complaint to management and quite possibly contact the police. In this scenario I would assume that person to be a sexual predator.
Exactly! Like granted I dont wear makeup and uniform shirts are always male but work with it! Theres always something you can do. If you dont put effort into it frankly I dong respect the transition. I find the middle aged late transitioners are the worst at it. They are usually the ones to be non binary as well wich just pisses me off for some reason.
People if you are trans put some damn effort into yo shit. Making the rest of us look bad!
According to that logic everybody should treat me as the King of the World of i just Identify as such...
Silly, in the end a man is a man, a Woman a Woman and a normal middle class worker a normal middle class worker. You cant just force others to Act according to your whishes.
I sometimes use the guys bathroom when I really gotta go if the ladies bathroom is occupied, but this sounds like an excuse to be a pervert.
That is not a trans person (unless maybe they are female to male). you are describing a butch lesbian or possibly someone with a hormone disorder
This is more of a safety/trust issue than a personal attack on Transgenders, but people are so quick to feel offended and passive aggressively school you on what transgenders are like and criticize you for your own feelings about it, when in actuality you just don't know your coworker well enough to feel comfortable around that person.
My advice? Befriend your trans-coworker. Say hi. I know it's strange to see a man try to be one of the girls, but if you get to know this coworker, you should feel a lot less anxious. So go make a new friend or at least a friendly acquaintance lol.
This person probably is actually NOT transgender but is simply claiming to be so they can creep around in the women's room. My guess from reading this is that HR has probably fallen for the act, and he'd probably play the victim and get you in trouble if you actually tell him to GTFO of the wrong bathroom.
However, if he were transitioning (which he probably isn't by the sound of it), you'd know within the next few months. Because the estrogen would cause him to start growing tits and otherwise appearing female. You'd definitely notice within a few months, maybe even less.
And if you don't, you'll know the whole transgender thing was bullshit. And that he's simply a perv creeping around in the women's bathroom and claiming to be "transgender" as an excuse to get into the women's room. Male to female transgender people actually dress like women and will go out of their way to appear feminine. This guy isn't doing that, which IMO is a dead giveaway that he's a perv and full of shit about being "transgender".
I used to work with an obvious transgender 'woman'. She was obviously born male, but would always wear make up and dresses. I was in the toilet stall when she came in. She sat down to pee, did her business and left. I wasn't threatened by it at all.
Maybe it IS a she and she's transitioning to male???? I don't know. Sounds weird if not. If she was indeed a trans person she'd probably try to look like feminine. It sounds fishy.
Many states and I assume countries have put laws in place for transgender. I do believe there has to be some sort of telltale "identify as opposite gender" signs. Like makeup, dressing the part. Otherwise tell him to GTFO of the ladies restroom. You can always call HR and ask them to talk with him.
I ask to be called "Boss",or "Knight Rider" are you gonna call me that? XD
If that man isn't making any effort to look like a woman, but says he is trans, something's not right and there might be nasty hidden motives.
Gee, and still come to work dressed as male making no effort to present as female. So then I can go to wherever to use the restroom and say that I identify as female and its sposed to be ok ? Are you fucking high ? If you are female would you approve of a male coming in there and whipping out his dick to take a leak ? There needs to be a bit of proof somehow that the male is truly identifying as female. Dressed as or makeup or something from a therapist.
Yea pretty much there is laws in place. Some locations are agaisnt us. Its funny I was watching a trans mans video who was asking people about it and they were all for it. So he was lik ed so you would be comfortable with me in your restroom? (To the women) they said of course not. He said well I'm a trans man by law i would be in there with you. They didnt like that one bit
One thing I do to make others more comfortable when entering the restroom is I say, "Finally, I get to drain Godzilla".
OR, if you are in a TG group and the subject of post-op depth comes up, we know your size determines your depth.
Say something like, "Well if that is the case, my vaginal canal is going to be clear up to my neck."
Some trans women are uptight about things. I am not that woman.
That's not trans. Some can argue that despite everything some trans people only want to be accepted and care very little about transitioning. However those that are like that need to understand thetess a certain stigma that needs to be respected. So theoretically they could be trans but are clearly not respecting the trans community nor the general community. What they are doing is asking for serious trouble. Weither legally or violence or whatever
Besides I dont think I know a single trans women who doesnt tuck. And if you are tucking your trying to pass.
Tucking is a method of hiding your male genitals so there isnt a bulge in your crotch area.
Only ones I know who dont are those that are new, sissies, and crossdresers. Some of them do but for some reason they love seeing that bulge it seems
No that invades womens privacy to have men in their restroom. Hes not a "transwomen", he is a man with a cock who more likely than not has ulterior motives.
This topic is a LANDMINE. Ultimately the safest answer is to say: Go to the bathroom by what's in your pants. That said, I know many would disagree.
I have a middle line position! All transgender persons use the Male bathroom. Or the other if its available. I dont like trans individuals as well as the barely passable to be able to use the female bathroom. Sucks for the 0.4% of the population then. Better than having 50% be uncomfortable.
she prolly jus needs to pee dawg,,, if shes not hurting anyone id leave it be
Not all trans feel the need to physically transition and they are still valid.
On the other hand, are you sure they aren't female? Maybe they are even a trans guy who hasn't came out yet, so that's why they are looking so masculine. When North Carolina passed the bathroom bill, this butch lesbian was not allowed in the women's bathroom.
Your coworker probably feels even more uncomfortable about going the bathroom than you, since they know that people will judge them, no matter which bathroom they use. There are no good options for them. Like, do you know how many trans people get bladder infections because they were afraid to go to the bathroom? Roughly 1/3, if I recall.
reason i say it is normal as women for the most part want equality in everything, then that also means bathroom duties. or is that different and if it is it really equality. be careful what you ask for
Yeah in the early 00’s I tried this stunt myself, put on the girls voice and everything.
The phys Ed teacher and the 30 girls were not impressed
Okay so let's get it out of the way, he is a man. Nothing will ever change that no matter how hard people try to ignore it, he was born a man, will die a man and will live as a man. He shouldn't be using women's bathrooms. People are so crazy.
Is reminds me of a cnn commercial
We’re the just have an Apple and say “this is an Apple some might tell you it’s a banana, they might even scream banana banana banana, you might even start to believe it’s a banana, but this is an Apple
Tbh I think we should do away with gendering bathrooms and (in the US) use the stalls they use in other countries with real doors and walls.
What makes you more uncomfortable, a man using the same bathroom as you, or a transgender person using the same bathroom as you?