Is it normal to want your gf to lose weight (fitness) so she is better in bed

Is it normal to want your girlfriend to lose weight/get fitter because she lacks the stamina to last a whole round of sex and/or the strength to move very much during intercourse (esp. when on top)

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 13 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Seriously? Wow, I thought everyone had enough stamina for it, even chubby people. Regardless of her weight, if she doesn't have enough stamina for sex, she needs to improve her fitness one way or another. Be very sensitive to her feelings if you feel a need to talk to her about it, though. If you say it in a way that is in an way critical of her, you could severely damage her self-esteem; which will *not* help her on a path to a fitter life.

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  • ProseAthlete

    You know, my first instinct was to be all, "Rawr, you don't get to tell your partner how much she can weigh! How dare youuuu!" But after I read your post and not just the title of it, I think you do have a point in wanting her to become healthier. You don't seem like you're fat-shaming or body-shaming; you seem concerned about her ability to lead a normal life, and I think that's entirely normal.

    Her getting winded from sex might not be about her weight alone, so the first thing you and she might want to talk about is scheduling a doctor's visit for her. It's possible to be overweight and healthy, but someone who can't catch her breath when she's on top isn't healthy; she needs a doctor to find out if something else is causing that.

    Maybe you can try some activities that build stamina and strength outside of sex. Is she up for going for walks in the park or strapping on a pair of skates? Do you both own bikes? Those could help her physical fitness level in and out of bed.

    Thisissomuchfun is right; you need to approach any discussion of her weight very carefully. I don't know that there's a way to say "Honey, you're too heavy to enjoy sex fully, and it worries me" and not make her cry, but framing it as something you can work on together can help.

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    • quentari

      maybe he could try "you seem to lose your breath quickly, do you have asthma? maybe we should see a doctor" or "hey wanna come to the gym with me?"

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      • ProseAthlete

        Those are both good suggestions.

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  • Shackleford96

    Would you do the same for her in the opposite situation?

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    • Fluffedbear

      Yes of course. That and mma is the reason i keep fit.

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      • Shackleford96

        Then i say yes.

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  • quentari

    probably has nothing to do with her weight. Don't mention "lose weight" AT ALL. you will make her upset.

    "getting healthier" is closer to what you want. I'm average weight but unhealthy as fuck and lose my breath while doing stuff all the time. So be careful when you mention it. Although I honestly can't think of a way that 100% will not get her mad, so maybe you might need to think if it's even worth bringing it up because it could damage your relationship

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  • 69

    so you're saying she needs to put more girl into the cowgirl?

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