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I’m 19 and I’m really excited to start a family. I’m not saying that I will because obviously my boyfriend isn’t down, but I think about it constantly. I’m ready to be a mom, but I know I need to get my life in order before that. Is it normal? If not, why?
Children are not toys. Please refrain yourself.
Get a pet. It's the same as a child but better.
Update, a year later. I had a kid. Completely on accident. We were ready to breakup and I found out. We still broke up. She’s almost three months old and I love being her mom. It’s a little struggle being a single mom. My parents are supportive though.
I’ve had pets!! Maybe it’s because I helped raise my siblings so much? I’m naturally very mothery to all the creatures!
Oh dear God! I once dated a guy who said something like that to me. Primates don't make good pets.
Felines, and canines makes the best, and most superior companion animals!
Dogs are more empathetic, and can sense a person's moods better, as well as better judge human body language than most other people, and dogs are loyal!
I don't have a dog, but if I did I would be more than suspicious of anyone my dog didn't like. If my cat doesn't like someone it's an enormous red flag, and if someone doesn't like my cat it's a big, fat dealbreaker.
Primates make good pets.
There's no superior or inferior. That's just racist.
There is the fantasy version of how things would work, you see that in advertising.
BUT, reality is a major bitch. What happens when the baby arrives and the father decides he doesn't have time for it? Single mothers have a very hard time finding a partner. You know those nerdy guys in school that never had a girlfriend nor got laid and then come to IIN to cry about it? A single mom has about the same relationship prospects as that guy.
Once a baby arrives, your life just does not belong to you anymore.
Oh honey child, I would love to be 19 years old again, but starting a family at that age would be the last thing on my mind!
How does your current beau feel about marriage, and children in the long run?
If your boyfriend isn’t down, then find a man who is. It’s a rare thing indeed to find a woman who actually wants to take up the role of motherhood and further propagate our people.
Next time you have sex with someone grub his balls while he is inside you and don't let him pull out if he hasn't cum inside, if he is trying to escape just squeeze them hard and tell him that there is no way out besides giving you his cum.
I have friends who are this way and have been since our late teens/very early 20's (we're mid 20's now). However, you're correct that it's best to build your life before starting a family. Besides, you are still very young and personally, I'd enjoy the freedom you have right now while you still do. Gone will be the days of getting to do what you want, when you want, and being able to spend your money on yourself, once you have kids.
I don't have kids and don't know that I ever will, but in my opinion, people should have a steady career and a stable home before having kids. Also, a good long-term relationship at the very least. It's much harder to further your education and/or build your career with kids, and I would think that shuffling from home to home could be hard on them. I have a friend who really wants a kid despite not having a job, the two of them barely being able to afford groceries, having not been together for very long, and having been evicted from several different places for trying to bend rules and not paying rent (and they're still actively trying to bend rules in their current tiny apartment in a not-so-great area, and recklessly spending money on things they want rather than need). To me, that's not a good situation to bring a child into at all. To me, it's important to have a stable home that you're not about to get kicked out of or foreclosed on and to have a good, stable career that you can comfortably afford to raise a kid off of.
There's no hurry to have kids, you're still very young. Just take your time and build your future first.
Hormones will do that. At least hold off until you get your degree and have a house of your own. Until then, I suggest working in a daycare or something that involves helping children.
Wait. Consider what the child's future would be. Do you honestly to put them through all this shit?
It's completely natural. The modern world is unnatural with how late people have kids. I think fertility peaks at something like 25 for women, and trails off after that. Also, if you're in a western country/ a country with chronically low fertility rate, then by having kids you're doing something greater for society than most people will in having to go to paid jobs.
I'm not the OP, but I see where you're coming from; however, you have to take in consideration how merciless society and western culture are to young mothers. If you don't have wealthy/stable family to fall back on or a boyfriend willing to help raise the child with you, chances are you're going to have to rely on government funded programs and child support, or if you're making too much money at McDonalds or other entry level jobs (which can be just a few cents too high to receive gov. aid) you're not getting any assistance and stuck working damn near 2 or 3 jobs to support baby, apartment, and bills alone.
Western society/culture punish women who have children too soon. I remember when I was 12, I wanted to have children so badly, but after hearing stories from my mom when she was struggling with me, and seeing all my cousins so fucked up from their childhood experiences with my Aunt (who became a single mom at 12 from a 24 year old man), it scared the shit out of me.
So until culture changes to accept young mothers, we're all going to keep having children later in life to avoid hardships and ridicule.
Please, for the sake of you and your boyfriend, get married first. Although, I do understand. Children are wonderful. As long as you don't have too many. Growing up, we were an 8 person family in a 3 bed 2 bath house. It was honestly a lot more comfortable than you'd imagine; however, two of my 5 brothers had down syndrome and that was not the most easy thing to deal with.
Just my opinion, but I think 19 is still too young. There’s much to learn about life and yourself, plus I think you should be 100% certain you can support children financially.