If we have a fight afterwards, and my girlfriend has signs of having had rough sex - all she needs to do in order to harm me, is calling the police and saying I raped her. As a male in this situation, you are fucked.
Please understand that a man does take a HUGE risk if he were to participate in it.
Surely you should trust your girlfriend not to lie about you, especially a lie so vicious and serious. If you think that she would do that to you then why are you with her? You obviously don't trust her at all.
There is only one step from love to hate. And the level of devotion and trust isn't always on the same level.
After a huge fight, she might be so hurt, that she would feel like this is justified. I'm not willing to risk it. It's not like it has never happened before.
Why are you with someone you don't trust to falsely accuse you of rape?
Furthermore, you obviously have no idea how hard it is for a woman to get the police to take partner or date rape seriously. I'm speaking as one who knows ....
Women who have been genuinely raped are often brushed off with comments like "Oh you like rough sex do you?" I do actually like rough sex, but I've also been raped by someone I was involved with: no charge so therefore no conviction and he's still doing it in the same area he's been doing it for years ....
a) I don't trust anyone. Should I stay alone forever?
b) I know that it is a huge problem. And it must be taken seriously. It is obviously an embarrassment for our society - for any society, really - when rape goes unpunished.
c) I still would not want to go for rough sex with a girl, even if there was no persecution from the police after a false rape accusation. Simply because I still would be perceived as a rapist - by her friends, by her family, and so on. A lack of police reaction doesn't make a rape accusation any less painful. And the risk is just too high for me.
d)I have this suspicion, that some misguided people rape because they see women with these desires - to be fucked almost painfully, to be playfully forced to perform a blowjob etc. and can't tell the difference between rape and rough sex. But that is just a suspicion of mine, I don't know if it is true.
I just replied to you but my reply vanished, so here goes again. I love your neat little lettered paragraphs: I have to stop myself from doing the same thing & don't always succeed:
a) I don't think it's wise to trust anyone completely about everything, but at the other end of the spectrum is loneliness: believe me, I know! I haven't had sex with anyone since I was raped and have no plans to, although I can still have satisfying sex with myself and sometimes over the phone. What happened in your life to cause such total lack of trust in women? You seem a very intelligent caring person, it'd be a shame if you were to be alone for ever.
b) Couldn't have said it better myself
c) Yeah I see what you mean, but I still think it's very uncommon, much more common for a woman who's been enjoying rough sex to be believed when she's raped
d) I think you're spot on here, but I think "misguided" is too weak a term, such people have no empathy and either don't believe a genuine "NO" or don't care. In my case, I had been enjoying rough sex but did not enjoy it against my will, in fact protested loudly and clearly, but was ignored except for verbal abuse that I wasn't responding with pleasure. Yuk yuk yuk ......
e) Thank you my friend, so am I, but even sorrier the rapist is still on the loose doing the same thing to other women, although there's a chance he's about to actually be charged after 40 years of getting away with it.
IIN to want to have rough sex?
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I would never go for it.
If we have a fight afterwards, and my girlfriend has signs of having had rough sex - all she needs to do in order to harm me, is calling the police and saying I raped her. As a male in this situation, you are fucked.
Please understand that a man does take a HUGE risk if he were to participate in it.
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TheInsignificantGirl
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Ellenna
8 years ago
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Surely you should trust your girlfriend not to lie about you, especially a lie so vicious and serious. If you think that she would do that to you then why are you with her? You obviously don't trust her at all.
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Unimportant
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There is only one step from love to hate. And the level of devotion and trust isn't always on the same level.
After a huge fight, she might be so hurt, that she would feel like this is justified. I'm not willing to risk it. It's not like it has never happened before.
Why are you with someone you don't trust to falsely accuse you of rape?
Furthermore, you obviously have no idea how hard it is for a woman to get the police to take partner or date rape seriously. I'm speaking as one who knows ....
Women who have been genuinely raped are often brushed off with comments like "Oh you like rough sex do you?" I do actually like rough sex, but I've also been raped by someone I was involved with: no charge so therefore no conviction and he's still doing it in the same area he's been doing it for years ....
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Unimportant
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a) I don't trust anyone. Should I stay alone forever?
b) I know that it is a huge problem. And it must be taken seriously. It is obviously an embarrassment for our society - for any society, really - when rape goes unpunished.
c) I still would not want to go for rough sex with a girl, even if there was no persecution from the police after a false rape accusation. Simply because I still would be perceived as a rapist - by her friends, by her family, and so on. A lack of police reaction doesn't make a rape accusation any less painful. And the risk is just too high for me.
d)I have this suspicion, that some misguided people rape because they see women with these desires - to be fucked almost painfully, to be playfully forced to perform a blowjob etc. and can't tell the difference between rape and rough sex. But that is just a suspicion of mine, I don't know if it is true.
e) I am sorry that you have been raped.
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Ellenna
8 years ago
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I just replied to you but my reply vanished, so here goes again. I love your neat little lettered paragraphs: I have to stop myself from doing the same thing & don't always succeed:
a) I don't think it's wise to trust anyone completely about everything, but at the other end of the spectrum is loneliness: believe me, I know! I haven't had sex with anyone since I was raped and have no plans to, although I can still have satisfying sex with myself and sometimes over the phone. What happened in your life to cause such total lack of trust in women? You seem a very intelligent caring person, it'd be a shame if you were to be alone for ever.
b) Couldn't have said it better myself
c) Yeah I see what you mean, but I still think it's very uncommon, much more common for a woman who's been enjoying rough sex to be believed when she's raped
d) I think you're spot on here, but I think "misguided" is too weak a term, such people have no empathy and either don't believe a genuine "NO" or don't care. In my case, I had been enjoying rough sex but did not enjoy it against my will, in fact protested loudly and clearly, but was ignored except for verbal abuse that I wasn't responding with pleasure. Yuk yuk yuk ......
e) Thank you my friend, so am I, but even sorrier the rapist is still on the loose doing the same thing to other women, although there's a chance he's about to actually be charged after 40 years of getting away with it.
Happy New Year to you and yours ......