Is it normal to want an open relationship as a bisexual woman

19 Comments

I'm almost 17 and have been dating the same boy for over a year and a half. I love him to death and want to be so good to him, but our relationship has a recurring theme of me liking other people, specifically girls since I'm bisexual, while I'm still dating him and actually cheating on him with someone I had feelings for once. It's completely not ok what I did and I know it hurts him when I do/feel these things, but were both so attached to each other that we didn't break up, and he forgave me. I still tell him to this day that I'm going to like other people and want to experience other people, mostly girls, and if he wants to continue dating me then he's gonna have to come to terms with that.
My question is, what do I do? do I try to work out an open relationship with him even though I know he won't completely like it and risk hurting him, or do I come to terms with the fact that me liking other people means we should break up and find other people, even though it'll break his heart

try to work 16
break up 14
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Comments ( 19 )
  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    It probably won't work.

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    • IrishPotato
      5 years ago

      Why is the only person in this thread that's sensible you? Seriously. What is it with this site that attracts genereracy?

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        I dunno, some people think I'm this massive prude, but I'm not. I've seen some shit in my time, and I know what I don't want is all. 🙂

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    • hanheck
      5 years ago

      you're one of many people that think that. I dont ignore the fact that we will probably break up one day, I'm just focusing on now

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Good luck with that.

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  • IrishPotato
    5 years ago

    I feel so, so sorry for the guy. Degenerates like you shouldn't be with anyone but themselves.

    If you want other people, be fucking single you simpleton.

    Oh and by the way, why are you referring to yourself as a woman? You're a child.

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    • hanheck
      5 years ago

      yikes soz abt my wording then

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  • bigbudchonga
    5 years ago

    You're rational with this, and aside from cheating, are fair as well. Yeah, lay your cards on the table, tell him in a nice way that you want an open relationship, and see where he's at. Maybe try and seduce him to the idea with a possible three-sum at some point?

    Also I was looking for something like this too, and I think the ground rules are basically don't rub who you're involved with in the other persons face, and be prepared that he'll find someone else too.

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    • hanheck
      5 years ago

      thanks for being understanding, I know from an outside perspective it must sound so strange. I have tried many times to have a deep conversation with him about what he wants in our relationship, and it always boils down to "as long as you still love me" and it makes me so upset, like he has such low expectations. It's just the type of person he is and I wish it wasnt like that

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      • bigbudchonga
        5 years ago

        Have you thought about getting him a hooker? If for nothing else then they should boost his confidence quite a bit.

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  • Columbusbiguy
    5 years ago

    You are only 17, date other people and get to know yourself as a person, who you like and dont like. Why do you need to be in a relationship now, at this time in your life? You have many years ahead to be locked in a relstionship enjoy your youth.

    Besides, if 2 peole want different things out of a relationship and neither is willing to budge, then its doomed anyway.

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  • kelili
    5 years ago

    At least he knows what to expect. You're so young, experience and have fun.

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  • JD777
    5 years ago

    If you like the other people romantically and emotionally, he’s going to have to be very unusually tolerant, basically ok with polyamory. Could work, but few people I’ve encountered could deal with that. If your attraction to the others is purely sexual, he just needs to have a swingers mindset, which is more likely to work. The key is you must talk openly with him about it. Either way, expect him to eventually stray, emotionally and/or sexually, outside the relationship, since you are.

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    • RoseIsabella
      5 years ago

      I wish OP would respond to your comment.

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    • hanheck
      5 years ago

      There was a point in time where I talked to him about this, but he seems very monogamous. he's the "become so attached that even toxic actions dont make me stop loving you" type. yea I'm aware I'm not very good at being in relationships

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      • JD777
        5 years ago

        You've told him what's up, he responded and wants to stay with you. He's a weak idiot for wanting to stay with you, but apparently you're ok with a guy like that. Cut through the BS. What do you really want?

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    • IrishPotato
      5 years ago

      On the other hand, they're both practically children and I'm a 100% sure this won't work out.

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  • Iamagirl
    5 years ago

    You're young, you're going to want to experience other people if you're not happy with this guy. Just be honest and tell him that, and if you guys come back years later and still have some feelings for each other, try again.

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  • HeyItsRalph
    5 years ago

    I think you need to talk to him, but like really talk to him, about this specific topic and how it affects him. Ask him how he FEELS and hopefully he'll tell you. If he doesn't understand, help him understand. Nobody is going to get you better than yourself so please just communicate with him.

    But also ask yourself why you are prone to this behavior? Yes you're bisexual, but that doesn't mean your sexual urges should dictate your actions. Think about why you are looking to be with a girl, while having this loyal companion. Understand yourself, and you'll understand others a bit more.

    Good luck with everything, hope it works out <3

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