Is it normal to think of leaving my boyfriend because he is dirty?

I mean we've been together for 5 years but only a few months ago we kind of started to live together (i spend most of the week at his place) and I already knew he wasn't the cleanest person i've met but not the dirtiest either!!!! Until now. For example if he eats something he leaves everything (dishes, envelopes, etc) where he eats (he doesn't have a table so he eats on his bed) and obviously he will leave the crumbs or any remains there, open.

The house he lives hasn't been fumigated entirely, like the men who do it just spray a liquid on the corners of the room and you don't even have to leave the room... it's like they just spray Raid or something so of course some cockroaches die but the ones who remain there are still reproducing so whatever they do makes no effect. SO i always randomly run into them anywhere, even the fff BED.

i of course have told him i hate them and am always stressed about it and then there's the fact that if i don't tell him to pick up the trash or clean something he won't do it.... and if i get mad and start cleaning by myself he gets mad because he thinks i'm overreacting. he tells me i just have to deal with it.

We've made some "advances" like we bought some cleaning stuff but he won't touch it if i don't tell him to............

Like i'm just mad that just for the fact that i'm a girl i have to be the one cleaning and tidying up???? it tires me and i always get the same "you are overreacting" s***.

he used to have another apartment and he did tidy up that one but didn't clean as much...

He also goes to college and works most days, so he doesn't have much time and that's why i have been understanding but sometimes i get tired of it.

whatcha think

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86% Normal
Based on 14 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Dump that dirty prick. You arent his mother or housekeeper.

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  • Cliche1234

    Dump that disgusting man-roach if you're so uncomfortable by his behaviour, then. It's depressing living in an unhygienic environment while the guy didn't even try his best to clean his mess. Though not a partner in love, I used to live with a roommate who didn't give a shit about tidying up his own mess just like your boyfriend. Shit was so infuriating.

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  • ellnell

    I would leave someone for being dirty so yeah

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

    Doesnt sound like something worth dumping him over. You have made advancements you can make more. I dont know yalls situation, whether ur working or paying rent, but me and my wife have our own "jobs" and cleaning is more up her alley so she gets the job. My wifes rules are dont leave food out, put stuff back, put dirty clothes away, and thats it. Its easily doable.

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  • bigbudchonga

    The cockroaches are disgusting, and if it is his dirt that's creating them then that's clearly a problem, but I used to live like a right dirty bastard, and I never had roaches.

    I think there's been an infestation and it's never properly gone away. Get the whole place fumigated or whatever to make sure they're certainly dead.

    After that, if the roaches come back then he should do something because it will be due to the mess, and if they don't, and if they don't then you should be the one to do the extra cleaning since it is his house and he's clearly fine with it the way it is.

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    I can understand someone letting things go so much that they get cockroaches, bu when the cockroaches aren't a wake up call for them and that they're ok living with them is abnormal.

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  • litelander8

    He leaves food out and has people spray his home? What a dumbass. It’s fucking gross and unacceptable. And to make you feel bad for trying to fix it? Fuck that.

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  • --

    So you move into his home and start making demands about how you want things! Fuck that

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  • Mammal-lover

    I stopped reading at cockroaches. I see those fuvking things in someones house cause its dirty in walking out and deleting there number

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  • sissycakes

    I cannot see a problem with the food on the bed thing or leaving the stuff behind simply because it is not that hard to move and dispose or bring to the sink once he goes to do something else. The cockroaches are hard to control. They can survive almost anything. The landlord should probably be more worried about implementing steps to get rid of them. You could probably go to court over it or something.

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  • raisinbran

    What guy doesn’t have at least a dozen cockroaches running around in his apartment?

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  • RoseIsabella

    Why are you with him? Did you ever get a look at his apartment before you moved in there?

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  • controversy

    He doesn't have time so its understandable.

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