Is it normal to sever social ties for years to develop meaning and strength?

59% Normal
15 Comments

I've lost my desire for life.
At least 3 years of my 27 total have passed since I've ever felt genuine gratefulness for being alive. I'm educated in my field, have talent and can be easily liked if I wish to be. Alcohol and narcotics are a non-issue.

Challenging activities that my life have been dedicated to; are now mundane and pointless. Any 'civilized' society today raises their young to hold the future as the measure of a life's success. The future no longer holds any promise. I have earned my place and will continue to do so until my energy is reconstituted back into this floating rock we call Earth.

Working, living, laughing, exerting, practicing, perfecting, collectively hold little value. There is no meaning to relations, whether chemical impulse or logically reasoned.

I'm in the process of alienating my self from my social and familial circles --willingly. I hold great disdain for my society; specifically its perversion of spreading death as a means to gain comfort. A society I must be complacent in to have a part in.

My choices are thus: To disrupt the lives of many for my own desires. To adapt my desires to abide obvious injustice and corruption to common, human values. To cast aside empathy for the sake of happiness, and exploit every simpleton and their resources for my own purpose.

The only reason I don't drift into an infinite sleep is out of consideration for those who love me and the pain this would irreparably cause.

Clearly, sharing this anywhere but the internet would seem like a grab for pity. I don't expect the collective to relate, merely to observe and comment. I merely wish to know...

Is such a bleak line of thought normal?

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 15 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago | pl

    "What good is finding purpose in unity if it means everyone kills themselves, their family and friends, willingly, in-unison, and refuse to acknowledge it?"
    That's a very good question, but I think you might be concentrating too much on the negative. A part of me agrees with you, or maybe I'm just not understanding your question right. Yeah, it seems as though whenever we all come together as a whole/one, we do nothing but build hatred, and use it against eachother. But that's society. I wouldn't say everyone does though.

    We aren't always gonna accept one another or agree with eachother. That's the sadness in which we live in. That's life. It's depressing, and most people do tip toe around the truth. Many people don't want to face the fact that sometimes when we're all fighting, it's not that we're fighting against eachother, we just tend to hurt one another, because at the end of the day we are all really striving for the same thing.

    We live in a world where there is many different people. Some people who are mentally disturbed, and yeah, some people just don't give a damn. There is always gonna be bad seeds in the world, but there is a lot of good people too. You have to search for them, and it will make you're life a lot lighter then it might actually seem. If you continue trying, and you're more positive about things, despite all the hatred that happens when people come together, maybe instead, people will feed off of your positivity, and start a chain of happiness. Then you can slowly but surely clean the bad seeds out.

    Or.....maybe I just sound like I'm talking in circles right now, because I'm pretty sure you don't understand what I'm saying, or I'm just totally not touching base with what you're even asking. Haha! I think I'm just really tired right now..., but please explain to me your question. Elaborate more on what you're asking, because it actually seems really interesting, I just feel like I might not totally have it figured out what you really are asking. Haha...wow! I bet I sound really stupid right now. And if you don't get what I was trying to say, I'm really sorry. Sometimes I have trouble finding the right words in explaining myself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    i dont understand your post but what i did notice is there is no mention of you creating. could this be the answer? but then i dont really know the question

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
      -
    • hiddenfromview
      12 years ago | pl

      Afraid I don't understand what you're asking me about creating. Creating what?

      I pretty much have zero faith that anything is worthwhile; I'm deciding between whether to become a complete scumbag and take whatever I want in life. Or, seclude myself from everyone in hopes that I find a reason to do anything before going completely mad.

      Thanks for your time.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    Normal... But you should channel it into something worthwhile.

    I know it's a cliche but you should "be the change you want to see in the world". Be an activist. Try to make a difference. If you are educated then you should be able to come up with an intelligent platform that will convince others to follow your example.

    So, if the world isn't up to your standards, instead of complaining about it or avoiding it, do your best to change it. You'll feel inspired when you start inspiring others, instead of just waiting to be inspired.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
      -
    • hiddenfromview
      12 years ago | pl

      Thanks for taking the time. To keep this quick rather than the short novel I had prepared;

      I consider activism akin to branding yourself with crosshairs and wearing peace as armor. This isn't to discount the bravery and sacrifice of activists. Merely the efficiency and effectiveness.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
  • gerbalracer
    11 years ago | pl

    What do you want? Can you answer that honestly? Do you know what you want?

    I want to smoke weed, lift weights and surf. So to do that, I need to go to school, get a job and "work so I can live not live so I can work".

    You should determine what it is in life that you feel you need to do to be successful.

    And maybe seek help from a professional. I only say professional because I don't think most real-world people will give you the straight honest answers that might help you understand what it is or why it is you are feeling this way.

    Life is a bug-a-boo some times, thanks John C. Reiley. A personality test from personalitypage.com helped me see a few things that are really helpful. But you will need to answer the questions honestly. Not how you wished you feel.

    I hope this helps you because, the comment about cannabis use not withstanding, I really am trying to be helpful.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    Your post struck a chord with me and I once too felt like this, I was very melancholy and felt that society had nothing to offer me, that it was dead and rotten.

    Although I am still mostly a recluse due to my anxiety issues, I can still recognize there is sometimes good in the world. I have no idea if this would be worth anything to you but I believe in you and can see that you must care about society to recognize the actual state it's in.

    I don't hold much care for the human race myself, mostly people only care for themselves and thus act only in a selfish manner regardless of the consequences.

    I have no idea why on earth I am blathering on like this but your post has definitely echoed something inside of me. One day, I feel that you will find what you are looking for or become more mirthful in this place.

    It is tough to see any good in this world but it does exist, no matter how small. Take care of yourself. :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • chezycheze
    12 years ago | pl

    I think it is normal to question lots of things in your life and to feel depressed at periods of time. However, I do not think that wanting to be alienated from every person or feeling as if you don't have motivation to live for three years is normal or healthy.

    I do not know if you want any advice that I have to give, but I will provide it and let you decide if you want to read it or not.

    So in my life, I sometimes feel that whatever I am studying or working on is insignificant and start to question my motivations. Sometimes I start getting depressed and unhappy with my life. Whenever this happens, I will at somepoint realize that I am capable of being happy. So I try being happy for a day or so and eventually I will discover that I am actually happy and then rediscover my motivation for my work. I relate this to some idea I got from reading a paper by St. Aquinas. The idea is that if a person does not believe in God but decides to try out going to church, praying, and asking for faith on a daily basis, then they will eventually develop faith. Whether this is or is not the case, I think it is an interesting idea. So, I think that you should try out the idea of caring about things or attempt to carry out life as if you do care about things and maybe you eventually will actually start to care about things.

    On another note, there are lots of things to do in life, sometimes trying new things and setting new goals will help you to develop new creative ideas and perspectives on things.

    Also, deeply analyzing one's motivations and what motivation actually is can be helpful. You should start by asking question about motivation. Such as, do I have motivation? Can I create motivation? How? How are others motivated? How am I motivated? What is my concept of motivation composed of?

    And, you mentioned something about measuring success. I am not totally sure if I understood you there but I don't think that life should be about being successful or that measuring life's success is always necessary. There are lots of other purposes or ideas that one can decide to be significant. So I am under the impression that we are in agreement on this issue.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
      -
    • hiddenfromview
      12 years ago | pl

      I am here asking for people's opinions before committing myself to isolation in search of answers. This isn't a final step, but an exploration. Thanks for your response.

      Fun story: In the last year, I was boiling at my desk, angry at life, to the point that I wasn't afraid of fate as it lay. I left my desk to reserve a car to rent that weekend, and drive out to the nearest skydive center. I'm quite (was..?) afraid of heights.

      Went skydiving with hardly a raised heartbeat. The straps around the groin were far too tight, even before the parachute was pulled. I didn't realize my lungs were in my crotch because I was clearly not getting enough air to see straight. The hyper-saturated hues of the planet were astounding to see.. before I passed out from pain. The first few times have to be in tandem.

      Trying new things is necessary to keep from decaying while alive. I'm still very much at odds about purpose.

      Having brought out potential in a few types of people, I feel like I have a fair understanding of motivation. My motivation has always been to "do unto others as I would have done onto me."

      This clashes with every view I now hold involved in dealing with any number of people greater than one. I basically try to shut up and leave people to their folly.

      I think you're right that there are plenty of other purposes and ideas that are significant. Which ideas and purposes can take precedence over objection to human injustices that people have proven time and again to willfully ignore for the sake of an adrenaline rush? It's all too selfish and trite. I'm not missing the irony of this situation.

      Thanks for the response.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
        -
      • chezycheze
        12 years ago | pl

        When I think of trying something new, I think of taking on responsibility. When I think new ideas, I think of creativity. When I think of purpose, I think of decision making. When I think of motivation, I think of why I made individual decisions. When I think of myself, I think of possibility. Maybe this will be helpful while your on your quest. Maybe not. Anyways, it is helpful to me.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        Report
        1
        1
  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago | pl

    That's really sad. I've felt the same way as you. You have depression. I think you should talk to someone about it. Someone in person. And no, it's not a grab for pity. You shouldn't be alienating yourself, and complacency is not alway's a good thing. Complacency brews problems. Sitting back and just watching things as they are doesn't do anything. You have to get out there.

    You have sunk into this dark way of thinking, and you're living and breathing through life as if what you're feeling is okay. You probably have felt that way for too long, and it's become who you are. I bet people don't even notice. I get that. You have to do something about it. You have a future, you just don't see it.

    Life can be really fucking terrible at times, and my friends grandmother used to always tell me, "this is the land of tears.", and I believe her, but it's not worth it to just give up. Nothing is pointless. You are here for a reason. Sorry buddy, but you're in this life just like the rest of us! Whether you like it or not! You need to believe in something, because when you don't believe in anything, life is just nothing. So you're telling me that you came this whole way, educated and all, and you feel like the future doesn't mean anything? No, you're future means something, because you're future is somebody else's future too. We're all in this together. If you're waiting for when to act, act now. What are you waiting for? You can change thing's if you really want to. People need you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
      -
    • hiddenfromview
      12 years ago | pl

      This is lengthy, there's a TL;DR at the bottom.

      I agree with everything up to your final few lines and thank you deeply for your concern. I'll strongly consider whether depression is something to have treated.

      I have been trying to raise awareness about our system and society but am unwilling to post who I am. Starting 7 years ago, I have studied what I could of Common Law independently in what little spare time I had aside from my career. I have put it to the test and quizzed the barrier that separates us human beings from those who 'write the rules'. The police.

      I've been put into police cars and have stood up to threats of jail, in favor of treating these people as humans with jobs that most haven't the skill or bravery for. Otherwise decent human beings had they been naked or clothed similar to me; Cannot see beyond their station or their teaching, when dressed in funny suits and hats.

      Had I been sent to jail for a night or four, I was actually excited and prepared to go to court to discuss matters of Common Law writ. If this were three years ago, I'd have a spiel here about all this, but I'm disillusioned with the premise now. I'm certain I've come to my senses, however unhappy it makes me.

      The futures you speak of involving others, degrades the moment you put a thumbs-up/down next to an opinion. Your opinion isn't your own, it's lost in the game of telephone. People fall in line, fall in step with each other, and are soon hurling themselves off the Cliffs of Moher, rapt in awe the entire way down.

      I have experience teaching my strength and understand what it means to present myself and the subject to appeal to different personalities, motivations, attitudes, and ethnicities.

      I was that way when discussing how we are slaves to both our own ignorance, and the deception of those we trust. Instilling trust and inspiration for change in everyone from passing strangers to family. I have now accepted that there's a beast that conversation, compromise, peace and/or moral values won't tame.

      With this, I struggle to find what purpose I have in training myself and the next generation of cattle about the hopes and woes of society or even enjoying this day to the next.

      TL;DR: What good is finding purpose in unity if it means everyone kills themselves, their family and friends, willingly, in-unison, and refuse to acknowledge it?

      Thanks for your time.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
  • lulzpool
    12 years ago | pl

    As depressing as that was, it was truly oddly beautiful and a In a way poetic. Kudos to you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0