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Honestly, If saving the whole world had depended on my death or suffering, then it would had been fine to leave it in chaos so that I can avoid death or suffering. I don't care If everyone call me psychopath or Satan worshiper. But I just wonder if it's common to be egoist like me.
I wish more people had your mentality. Perhaps the world would be a much less obnoxious place.
ive literally lived my entire life dedicated to living for others and placing them above myself. i refuse to do that anymore. sadly im still stuck in that situation and i think the only way for me to get out n be free from it is in my own death.
selfishness is human nature. its only bad if its harming other people.
very normal. ive learned my lesson with handing out free compassion, loyalty, love, care, friendship etc and i keep getting burned. my love is no longer unconditional, damn right i expect shit in return for things i do. better yet i wont do anyting until someone does it first. i expect loyalty when i have given it, or those that have given it to me have earned it. i expect a shoulder to cry on when i have offered mine, or vice versa. i expect compassion when i need it, when i have offered it or i give back to them as they have given to me. i expect loyalty when i have offered it so freely many times etc etc.
like i dont ask for much. just to be treated the way and with the kindness i have treated others, and i keep getting burned and spat in the face. im not offering this kindness anymore to just anyone. they have to earn it at this point.
idk ive been throughs o much and have been hurt so much, most days i feel dead inside. i feel like my heart is cold as stone. im tired of being betrayed, walked over, treated like shit but then these same selfish people deman i still perform n do for them....sorry for venting. "
but no, i dont think you're wrong. i understand because im at that point now too. ive been let down so many times...i imagine its much the same for you too..
It is natural instinct to survive, but if me dying would save the world I'd probably do it. Going to die one day anyway.