Is it normal to prefer to be nursing when old?

Unless I’m very healthy, I would wish my family to place in a nursing home.

I don’t see purpose in forcing my family to care for when I’m advanced in age, just got on with life.

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 14 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 30 )
  • Hotdogsaregross

    I used to work as a nurse aid in a nursing home. Some of the nurses I worked with were complete assholes and would make fun of the residents. I remember when I was still being trained one of the nurses would actually verbally say messed up shit to one of the residents. She would make fun of her body and would call her a whore because of the tattoos she had. She knew that person could not talk back. The person could still hear her but they couldn’t talk.
    I would rather die than be helpless and abused in an nursing home.

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    • Did you report the nurse? She should have had her nursing license revoked.
      Perhaps she graduated to physical abuse because nobody bothered to report her.

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    • JustMolly

      Was she reported??? Please tell me you reported her!

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  • charli.m

    If that's what you want, that's what you want.

    I would hate for my grandmother, who is 87, to be in a nursing home. There's too often abuse there. She was recently in rehab for recovery after a broken hip. It's a great facility she has been to many times over the last 20-25 years post surgery and illness; attends a physio class there twice a week. Staff are generally amazing. And even there, her last visit, she had two nurses who were so nasty to her. She was too scared to report them. How awful must they be to non verbal or general dementia patients?

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    • I don’t want other family members to be placed in a nursing home, and I’m currently helping care for an elderly family member now. It’s my wish for myself. I don’t think everyone should agree with my opinion, and truly i don’t blame others for not wanting to be in a home when they’re older.

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      • charli.m

        As I said, your life, your choice. I hope you don't get the awful staff.

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        • Thanks. And really I couldn’t do it to my parents though, especially my mom.

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    • Boojum

      There have been a number of cases in the UK in recent years where care staff were caught being abusive assholes on spy-cameras and by reporters using covert filming.

      The legality is complicated, but the official body responsible for monitoring the quality of care in English nursing homes has given its seal of approval to relatives installing covert monitoring cameras in their relatives' private rooms.

      You're right about the staff in such places often being good. That's pretty amazing, given that they're usually poorly trained, paid peanuts and dealing with elderly people, particularly those with dementia, can be extremely challenging.

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      • charli.m

        Yeah, we've had similar cases. It's horrific. My cousin started her nursing career working at one of the worst nursing homes in Australia. The stories she told...

        Fortunately, it has been shut down. I don't know what became of the residents. Most were violent ex prisoners, and for some reason, this nursing home was where they all got dumped if they were no longer able to be provided for in prison. So it was a double shot of mostly awful staff, paired with some awful residents and a reputation with the local fire fighters to not respond to emergency alarms because it was usually just triggered by out of control residents. The staff were regularly physically and sexually harrassed/assaulted by residents and many staff were awful in their own ways.

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  • McBean

    Check into a cheap motel, and have a pizza delivered everyday. Nursing is a huge unnecessary expense.

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    • I’d take that over forcing my family to coddle me. I’m quite OK with my decision. If I’m a miserable, unthankful elder, don’t even visit me. I’m ok with dying alone. Not everyone is and I respect that.

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    • Alichael

      You'd have better food with the motel and pizza options. When my now late grandmother was in a nursing home, she'd invite us to come and eat there with her, that food I couldn't even swallow it was so disgusting.

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      • McBean

        Your heirs will have much more money after you croak. They can drop off a box of diapers for you each week, along with a bottle of booze (alcohol is cheap medication).

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        • Alichael

          Grandpa's old cough medicine

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          • McBean

            Yep.

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  • curious-bunny

    I would rather be executed or off myself so I'm no longer a burden on society and those around me, but yea going to nursing home works as well

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  • Dustyair

    No thanks, I don't want to be a broken down old man needing someone else to wipe my ass. I'll take the Smith & Wesson .44 magnum retirement plan instead. 🤠

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    • e51pegasi

      I'm with you on this one. I will take the bottle of gin, the fistful of benzos & a nice lie down plan.

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      • Boojum

        Someone has to clean up the mess afterwards, so floating off on a cloud is much more considerate than the gun approach.

        Just make arrangements for someone who won't be scarred for life to find you no more than a day after you've shuffled off.

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        • e51pegasi

          The plan is to inform everyone before doing so. As you say no surprises & you get to say goodbye to everyone.

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          • Then they have you committed and so goes the plan. Notification and farewell is probably best with a time delayed email (yeah there’s an app for that). The authorities could even be copied to insure there is no blame and a timely visit from the coroner.

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            • e51pegasi

              I think it is a plan that a lot of people contemplate. The issue I imagine is that they become scared, physically too frail or just leave it too late to execute (yeah I know) said plan & mother nature takes it's long, drawn out course instead.

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  • sissycakes

    if you want to be in a nursing home that is fine. go be with the oldies, you could call them that. i feel bad about it. if someone wants to be at home they should not be in a nursing home. grandparents, parents, and people in general care for people during their life. how bout the people they cared for take care of them if they need to be taken care of.

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  • Nickvey

    even people with cancer are not a burden , they are given some chemo so toxic it kills them the next day. you know how many people are in nursing homes on chemo? not a fucking one. they dont even give chemo at nursing homes. Just stop the fantasy where you die of old age in a nursing home we dont die that way. well one out of five do but you get my point. if you really do not want to be a burden to anyone fall off a fucking cruise ship at night with no one looking.

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    • What about the burden of filling a missing person’s report, and, in the day of lawsuits, possibly the family suing the cruise ship for safety violations, unless they don’t have a family.

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  • Cuntsiclestick

    Honestly, I'd rather be dead than to be a burden on anyone.

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    • Nickvey

      you have an 80 percent chance of being dead and not a burden. people dont die that way, thats not a cause of death. we usually dont even ow taxes when we die. where do people get these foolish ideas

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    • I feel this way as well. Even if I’m a burden in during my younger years, I don’t want them to deal with me.

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      • Nickvey

        young people are not burdens young people dont die that way, they overdose on cock or drugs , how is that a burden? no one will be bringing you a sandwich in bed, thats not how its going to be,

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