By 'that man's support', I didn't mean financial, I meant emotional. You said 'you have a man who loves you with all his heart'. So I'm saying you should let him know you don't need him or want his emotional support, or company, because you find it a burden. Otherwise he's wasting his time on you, and wasting your time, and that's not right.
You said in the other post:
"After all that you have a very limited time for yourself! Where is the fun in that? When can you engage in your hobbies? When can you devote time to your family and/or close friends?"
You said here:
"I am much more efficient alone and I find love and caring (and sex!) takes up time that could be spent much more productively than sitting around chatting or doing "fun" things. What's the point?"
So it seems like you're saying... 'Where is the time for people to spend doing fun things and the time to devote to family and friends? Without that life's meaningless.' Then saying... 'Spending time with family and friends is pointless and unproductive, as is chatting and doing fun stuff. It's meaningless.' Seems sorta contradictory don't you think?
People get self-worth from being loved, because they feel valuable and needed by someone. This self-worth is gratifying. Simple as that.
I most certainly did not write that one! You have mixed me up with somebody else! For one thing, I have no living family and I am isolated location-wise and can't drive anywhere so I have no friends to see! Neither do I have the inclination to post bogus information.
I guess with my upbringing, I simply did not feel valuable and needed- the opposite actually. I was a burden and my presence made their lives financially difficult, wrecked my Mum's health through pregnancy with me and awfully miserable, which I took to heart so much, that I never saw the point in having family of my own. Why repeat something that is so harmful to wellbeing (as it seemed to them and was to be too through growing up treading on eggshells lest I be more of a burden to them)?
Additionally, I have a personality like Bugsforbreakfast describes because not needing physical and emotional support was a way of lessening the burden on the family and so I believe in the value of independence. I was ridiculed and scolded if I needed any sort of emotional support.
My mistake! I thought you wrote the other post because of your comment on it, but that was me connecting dots incorrectly :/ sorry about that. I feel dumb now.
My point still stands about not misleading the man who loves you, though.
Also, independence and self-sufficiency are great. And if you are in no way emotionally dependent on others, that's fair enough. Most of us are dependent on others to some extent, for our psychological wellbeing. I'd probably go mad if I was permanently alone, and I doubt I could find happiness if I never felt loved.
You may well be different. Or you may well not realise how you'd feel without love, since you have a guy who loves you "with all his heart". Or it could well be your depression and CFS speaking. You know better than we do.
IIN to not be affected by love anymore
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By 'that man's support', I didn't mean financial, I meant emotional. You said 'you have a man who loves you with all his heart'. So I'm saying you should let him know you don't need him or want his emotional support, or company, because you find it a burden. Otherwise he's wasting his time on you, and wasting your time, and that's not right.
You said in the other post:
"After all that you have a very limited time for yourself! Where is the fun in that? When can you engage in your hobbies? When can you devote time to your family and/or close friends?"
You said here:
"I am much more efficient alone and I find love and caring (and sex!) takes up time that could be spent much more productively than sitting around chatting or doing "fun" things. What's the point?"
So it seems like you're saying... 'Where is the time for people to spend doing fun things and the time to devote to family and friends? Without that life's meaningless.' Then saying... 'Spending time with family and friends is pointless and unproductive, as is chatting and doing fun stuff. It's meaningless.' Seems sorta contradictory don't you think?
People get self-worth from being loved, because they feel valuable and needed by someone. This self-worth is gratifying. Simple as that.
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I most certainly did not write that one! You have mixed me up with somebody else! For one thing, I have no living family and I am isolated location-wise and can't drive anywhere so I have no friends to see! Neither do I have the inclination to post bogus information.
I guess with my upbringing, I simply did not feel valuable and needed- the opposite actually. I was a burden and my presence made their lives financially difficult, wrecked my Mum's health through pregnancy with me and awfully miserable, which I took to heart so much, that I never saw the point in having family of my own. Why repeat something that is so harmful to wellbeing (as it seemed to them and was to be too through growing up treading on eggshells lest I be more of a burden to them)?
Additionally, I have a personality like Bugsforbreakfast describes because not needing physical and emotional support was a way of lessening the burden on the family and so I believe in the value of independence. I was ridiculed and scolded if I needed any sort of emotional support.
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My mistake! I thought you wrote the other post because of your comment on it, but that was me connecting dots incorrectly :/ sorry about that. I feel dumb now.
My point still stands about not misleading the man who loves you, though.
Also, independence and self-sufficiency are great. And if you are in no way emotionally dependent on others, that's fair enough. Most of us are dependent on others to some extent, for our psychological wellbeing. I'd probably go mad if I was permanently alone, and I doubt I could find happiness if I never felt loved.
You may well be different. Or you may well not realise how you'd feel without love, since you have a guy who loves you "with all his heart". Or it could well be your depression and CFS speaking. You know better than we do.