Is it normal to never have sex in a 2.5 year relationship (both virgins)

57% Normal
18 Comments

I once dated a girl for two and half years. We never had sex. We were both virgins and she just wasn't ready. I got dumped a while back, and though I've never been big into the sex side of things, I can't help but feel insecure that future partners will expect me to have experience. But I don't, cause my ex took up all my time.
I'm 21 now by the way. People just assume I've had sex. Pretty average guy I guess. Not very socialable though.
It certainly doesn't feel normal to me anyway, everyone seems to have sex in a relationship, though I have learned that alot of them put up a front to seem more sexually active than they actually are.

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 7 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • Dad
    11 years ago

    2 and a half year relationship?
    Most young guys here would prefer that than a one night stand.

    I've got to tell you the truth, sex is great, its even healthy! But afterwards its like, who cares!
    Your relationship actually meant something, be thankful for it.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    You're absolutely right. Some people do pretend to be more sexually experienced than they are.

    Also, remember that your ex-girlfriend is a virgin too. It's not that uncommon. Even if your next girlfriend isn't a virgin, that doesn't mean she'll have a lot of experience. Don't let insecurity get in the way of your love life.

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  • JOHN000
    11 years ago

    look bro it don't matter if the girl really likes you she will show you like what happened to me

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  • Ramit10
    11 years ago

    Actually a lot of older girls your age like virgin guys because they feel they havent been players. I dated my ex for 9 months she was a virgin but I wasnt she said she always wasnt ready. She dated her current bf for 5 months and had sex with him and he was a virgin. Sometimes the girls are mysterious we shall never understand them all. A FWB is way better I get sex without havin to worry about a gf. If a girl loves you for you she wont care if your a virgin or not.

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    Well hell, As I go down the list, I find Dad pretty much beating me to all of them. If the relationship works, even without sec, then it is a perfectly fine relationship. It is when the relationship is ONLY about sex that you have to worry.

    Btw, don't be worried, I know several very attractive women that like virgin guys. I guess for them it is the innocence that is the attraction.

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    • Mmmpfh
      11 years ago

      Don't worry, I'm not questioning the relationship itself. I wouldn't have dated her for so long if it was just in hopes of sex. It would have easier to find elsewhere if I really wanted it.
      I'm questioning what comes next basically. Right now its kind of important to me to find a woman in a similar situation as I am. Not so important that I'd refuse a girl, not at all, but I would prefer someone just as inexperienced as myself. Call it insecurity or whatever, I don't really care, its just something I kind of want in my life.

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      • Captain_Kegstand
        11 years ago

        If you want a woman in the same position, then I sincerely hope you find one! I imagine that might be difficult though, at least where I live! Good Luck!

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        • Mmmpfh
          11 years ago

          It'll definately be difficult! But I like innocent women. :3

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          • Captain_Kegstand
            11 years ago

            There is something strangely attractive about innocent women. Maybe some protective instinct or something, I never really could place it.

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            • Mmmpfh
              11 years ago

              Totally. Makes you feel an overwhelming urge to hug them and growl at any minor threats.

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  • GuessWho
    11 years ago

    I wish I could have a relationship like that.

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    • jwhit
      11 years ago

      you can there's people out there just got to look harder

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  • sassafrassi
    11 years ago

    I never have either in a 4 year relationship. I'm 21 too. Dang we're losers huh? ;)) jk

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    • Mmmpfh
      11 years ago

      Haha, holy shit! You're the girl who was talking about getting drinks spilled on her by her date in another post! :D

      I don't think its bad that you haven't had sex in a 4 year relationship at all, respectable even. I just hope you have good reasons for it. For example my ex was terrified of it hurting but actually had a pretty shallow attitude towards sex. I would have found it more respectable if she was following a belief or was happy about staying a virgin for the time being. But instead she would suggest getting wasted and doing it, so that she didn't have to remember her first time. Seemed like a pretty unhealthy outlook on it to me.

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      • sassafrassi
        11 years ago

        Apologies in advance it's a rant. :)

        Lol. XD It's actually a bit of a sore subject for me. Not exactly sex but in general sexual activity. >.< We did try a few times but he was just too nervous to go through with it for numerous reasons and I didn't want to make him if he didn't want to. Now we don't even do anything with each other. After 7+ months (probably longer -_-) even I can't help thinking if there's something wrong with me that my boyfriend doesn't even want to flirt back with me when I make attempts. I can only take rejection for so long =..o

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        • jwhit
          11 years ago

          hey ur bf may be asexual i am and thats what it sounds like to me most asexual's dont want anything to do with romance or sex then their are some like me who dont mind cuddling were just not into sex i would look it up http://www.asexuality.org/home/

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        • Mmmpfh
          11 years ago

          :O Been there! My ex, at one point in our relationship, lost her libido entirely. It was stressful. I felt very rejected and uncared for. Especially since she was such a flirty person, yet wouldn't even touch me for months on end :\

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