Is it normal to love someone that you kind of don’t like at the same time?

I feel like I’m genuinely in love with a girl that I could honestly see myself getting into a lot of disagreements with in the future, on one hand she irritates me with certain things she does, but on another hand there’s just something in her eyes from the moment our eyes met that told me she was the one. We’ve been seeing each other pretty frequently and I find myself simultaneously both miserable and in love. is it normal to feel that way?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 14 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Boojum

    Couples don't have to agree on every single thing. It's possible for couples to respectfully disagree with each other on a lot of things, as long as both people are willing to put in the work necessary to find compromises they can both live with.

    Happy couples do agree on the really big things. There's no fixed list of what exactly those 'big things' are, but some important factors are basic life goals, how to properly to communicate, the correct role of money in life, whether kids are desirable, how important honesty is, the definition of 'cheating' and how important sex is.

    It's very unlikely that you're going to ever find someone who's perfect in every possible way. You're never going to find someone you can spend a lifetime with and never once disagree or be irritated by something they do. You should also never believe for a moment that you'll be able to mold someone who's less than perfect in your eyes into someone who is perfect.

    The trick to being happy with someone is to clearly see how they fall short of your idea of perfection, but to be certain you're willing to accept the irritating things they do (and don't do) as a price worth paying for the positive things you get out of the relationship.

    I'm pretty sure what you felt when you first saw the girl was infatuation - something about her made you fall in love with an idealised image of the girl that you created in your mind. That's perfectly normal. Now you've got to know her a little better, there's a conflict between that idealised image and what you've learned about the person she really is. Denying reality is always hazardous, but I'm a firm believer in the adage that the best is the enemy of the good. Only you can decide if the good things about the person she is are more important than how she falls short of your idealised version of her.

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  • Somenormie

    More of a crush than a love to be honest.

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  • RoseIsabella

    It doesn't sound like you're in love with her. It just sounds like you're infatuated, and in lust is all. Sorry to disappoint.

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  • bbrown95

    I agree with the others saying it seems more like an infatuation/crush than love.

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  • litelander8

    Barf

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    • Well gee don’t leave a mess 😨

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