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Is it normal to keep yourself away from things which will fully stimulate you since feeling of enjoying it brings up guilt and self loathing and annoyance? Yes, I know its short.
Were you raised in a religious household? If so, the first thing you're going to have to do is rid yourself of the programming you've been living with all your life.
If not, then you need to investigate why you feel guilt about something that is perfectly natural and frankly, a whole lot of fun.
I agree with the Sailor, were you raised in a religious environment? I was and for the longest time I had some difficulty with my sexuality as well as other areas of my life. I'm much better now because, I've come in terms with my fetishes/sexuality.
If I did what you are doing, I'd be very miserable.
When I first started masturbating I felt like you did. Immense guilt and shame. However, I couldn't stop and overtime the guilt went away. I feel like maybe you should do the same, since feeling guilty is something you should not be feeling. I mean it's natural, it really is. So long as you can control yourself in a public setting, bury yourself in whatever pleasure you want in your private time. Really though masturbating isn't sinful, neither is having an sort of stimulation.
Masturbation may not be a sin. But it is addictive, desensitize you from what real love is. ladies and having a deep connection with them. It can cause you to have erectile dysfunction much earlier in your life depending on how much you do it.
People who masturbate tend to not only do it cause they are horny but when they feel bad. Which leads to unsolved inner problems, that can prevent inner growth.
Im just saying its not as "Innocent" as this people claim to be. Listen to your feelings not what people tell you. There just saying it cause they themselves are ashamed too. Guaranteed. thats why its such a private secretive matter. If your ashamed of it dont do it. Find a more natural and better way to make yourself happy. Masturbation will ultimate not fully satisfy you. Sure as hell wont make you proud every time you do it. People do it cause it so so easy.
Go to nofap for support. You will find out how truly destructive masturbation is. I promise you, you wont regret it.