Is it normal to have visited them after all that?

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10 Comments

Hi guys

2 years ago, my parents separated...thankfully. My father was emotionally abusive and was jealous of my mom and paranoid. He kept falsely accusing my mom of infedility and did many bad things to her.

He kept asking for another wife, but when he couldn't get one, he tried to make her look like a cheater. His family (who are the stuck up religious sort), did not want to be involved. They once or twice contacted me, but after they started to downplay our situation, I stopped talking to them.

I became depressed for 2 years and my studies suffered. His family kept blaming my mum and I (who were alone in all this) that we are not visiting them. Once we were not at home and they came and they make this a huge story. My father does basically nothing financially for us and he did a few handy works for my moms new house so I agreed to go see his family. He worships them and treats us like shit.

His family is very annoying, the adults that is. My father wants me to play with my cousins who are 10 years my junior (I am 21). Furthermore they have all his familys love and attention. No one even celebrates my birthday there. I just want him off my back so I visited. His family always treated my mom and I like outsiders and were jealous of us.

I somehow feel like they are happy. The kids say they love me but I still have resentment and I dont like that family at all. I think I will only keep in contact now and then. I told them to visit me from now on - its way overdue. What do you think?

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 8 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Cuntsiclestick
    5 years ago

    You don't owe them any visits. They don't deserve it, so keep your distance and do what makes you happy.

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  • barefoot_on_the_sand
    5 years ago

    My dad passed away when I was a kid and his side of the family never cared much about me. It's like I'm not family.
    I don't miss them at all.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      I feel the same - they only care about themselves and their "religiousness." I don't miss them at all either, but I'm sick of them trying to blame me for not being in contact when I was in difficult times and they was not there. I won't go after this. Last time.

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      • barefoot_on_the_sand
        5 years ago

        If you get along with any of your relatives, try to not lose touch with them.
        All of my nuclear family is gone and I only see my aunts regularly. I was always closer with my mum's side.
        I miss my grandma and mum.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Thanks for this advice. I do get along with my cousins and I also feel I shouldn't burn any bridges. Life is lonely as it is. I'm also like you - much closer to my mum's side. I am sorry you miss them. Puts into perspective how ungrategul I am being for having family who want me around. Thank you for that. I hope you can find solace in friends and things get better for you. Much love.

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        • LornaMae
          5 years ago

          Aw, it's so sad. I'm sorry about that... :(

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    If you don’t want to be involved don’t. I wouldn’t and you have every right not to. If you’re dad and his family want to talk shit why should you give them your attention.

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  • sissycakes
    5 years ago

    i really think that even though you have not said anything about it that you love your dad. in my family i was told to go away, but even though your family seems to be uncaring, if they did not tell you to go away than they are probably not wanting you to. please be with family members that you can be with. with a disjointed family and a complicated situation behind it i miss alot of my family members that i will likely not get to see unless of a funeral. also my mom died and i really wanted to see her so bad the year that she passed.

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  • brutus
    5 years ago

    Its your decision to make.

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  • Columbusbiguy
    5 years ago

    You are an adult, do what makes you happy and be satisfied in your decision.

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