Is it normal to have this hatred for humanity?
Ever since the age of five after my father committed suicide I have developed a strong misanthropic view. I have turned cold to society and humanity in general. I have never felt accepted even when told I am, never felt I've had true friends or family even when they say they are. I have slowly felt myself detaching from modern society and noticed a feeling of savage carnal instinct taking hold of my thoughts. Day by day it worsens, I am starting to forget common emotions once felt and reacting to situations in ways I was not taught to react. Hatred has taken hold of my senses and I cannot help but give in. I love life and take pride in music arts and literature which further advance my ideals but I mostly hate humanity. I feel everyone is fake, when I speak to people its like talking to a programmed robot told what to say and do depending on their place and image in this false society. Religion sickens me, politics enrage me. It seems everyone is so f***ed in the head but so happy and passive their just mindless brainwashed drones. As I live my life I fear for the worst of my thought process. I notice my mind delving deeper into the blackness we are told to stay out of. Giving in to chaos and disorder for the sake of my free spirit. As I go on I feel this condition worsening and I don't like the outcasted feeling but I can't help but give in and have started to enjoy my hatred and distaste for mankind. I guess my question is, how does one go about everyday life with a worsening condition of misanthropic views and a hope for the end(not to myself but all the BS of society) without resorting to a violent destructive means to an end of this madness? Or am I already completly insane and is their no hope?