Is it normal to have sex with someone whom you are not officially dating?

Okay. So I haven't engaged in sexual activity since my very first partner (of two years) and I broke up. He had cheated on me on several occasions which made it difficult to trust other men. Due to being in such a committed relationship, the "single life" wasn't doing me too well. It has now been a year since the break up and I've found myself bouncing in and out of flings, never truly committing. After many flings failed, I found someone who seemed more interesting and allowed him in. He was not a virgin and has been with a couple girls, not many but from his actions, I had an insight that all he might want is sex. I did my best to keep my distance, however, he found my vulnerable spot and I ended up having sex with him. We aren't officially dating but we have spoken of the subject. I'm not sure how I should percieve the situation. I like him but I don't think I like him enough to have sex with him yet I did. I'm not even sure if a relationship is a good idea though I now feel obligated. The worse part was the sex wasn't even as appealing as I remember it before. I do understand that it had been a while for both of us so that may have been the cause. It felt impersonal whereas intercourse with my past partner held some sort of emotion that made it special, I suppose. Was this my frustration begging to be answered or what...? Could I create that great sexual aura that I had prior? Should I feel guilty? (I don't exactly feel guilty about doing it, just guilty that I let someone in so soon). And most importantly, what should I think of this guy?

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 104 votes (78 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 11 )
  • CountryRoads

    You might be overthinking it. Just be safe and do whatever your body wants to do. You sound like you want to but you feel guilty or have reservations. Why not try a friends with benefits situation if you never have before?
    If you don't like it, stop immediately. You have the power, not a man.
    Be safe. Use condoms.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • BoredGuy

    poor thing, u got tricked into it...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Nokiot9

      Aww he found your vulnerable spot? Sounds awful!!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • DannyKanes

    To some, sex is important. To others, it's not important. Some want to wait til they get married, some wait til they're in love with a partner, some just like flings and one night stands. So whatever it meant to you, or didn't mean to you, it was just sex, so don't stress :-)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Trismegistus

    It's ok.You can have sex with everything you want!
    Who's gonna stop you?You can screw cows,chickens,dogs,cats,horses,you can even butcher them alive while you are still at it! Then eat them!You can change a lover everyday!You find someone at the mall?Screw him.You happen to be at a frat party?Screw the first guy/gal "turning you on".And don't ever use a condoms.They aren't safe.
    They make sex less pleasurable.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Learn to separate Sex from Love, its important to do this early on or you will get your heart broken a million times.
    Have great sex with people you think are hot, just wear protection and be selective

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Whitneyhouston

    You've just hit a rough spot in your dating life. If it's a fling, just let it be that. As far as this guy, he sounds like he might be a db. Things will pick back up, just don't put too much stress on the whole situation.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • 1942

    yah it's normal. do i date my friends? no. do we have lesbian f*** parties? yes
    plus sometimes, i help some friends find out how to sexually please their gfs by letting them try their move on me first

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • kingofthedust

      HOTT

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • cupcakelove

    You really think I was tricked?! I would agree but I don't feel bad about it at all. Like I said, it had been a lonnnng time. We're actually dating now but I'm not too sure how I'm feeling about this relationship which is probably a bad sign. :( I am just in such a sticky situation. Thanks guys but I feel something is wrong with me and I cannot pin point it!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • ComeFlyWithMe

    It's normal. And don't feel obligated to do anything whether it be having sex with him again or getting into a relationship. If you don't like him just say no.

    Comment Hidden ( show )