Is it normal to hate my mom for the following reasons?

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4 Comments

1. She didn't pay close enough attention to me as a kid and I ended up getting molested repeatedly by an older kid.

2. She was too meek and submissive to help my dad beat his alcoholism, and she was often an enabler; he died at the age of 47.

3. While I was traveling, she invited my cousin from overseas over and arranged for my boyfriend to bring her places, take her out, etc. for the couple of weeks she was visiting. They hooked up and got married a year later. He was my first boyfriend.

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Based on 10 votes
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Cuntsiclestick
    6 years ago

    Considering how much she's stolen from you, yes, it's normal.

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    The first reason was enough for me to know it's normal.

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    Your mother sounds like someone with serious problems.

    There's no law that says we have to like our parents, or even respect them. Parents are people, and some people are pretty fucked up.

    There's also no law that requires adults to live near their parents or ever see them. If your mother is a negative force in your life, get away and stay away.

    With time and physical separation, you might be able to understand her better, and that may help you come to terms with how she has treated you. Maybe you'll never like her, respect her or want to be with her but, for you own sake, you need to put the hurt she caused you behind and get on with your life.

    Having said all that, I do think your criticism of her in connection to your father's alcoholism might be a little harsh. No one can make an alcoholic face their problems and recover. For whatever reason, your father made the choice to kill himself with booze. You think your mother didn't help him as much as she should have, but even if she had been a paragon of strength and assertiveness, she wouldn't have been able to force him to deal with his issues. I understand your hurt and anger, but I think you might be laying the blame on the wrong person.

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  • Zorak
    6 years ago

    Wow...that is horrible.

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