Is it normal to find comfort in my traumatic experience?

54% Normal
10 Comments

A few years ago I got out ouf an abusice relationship that left me physically and mentally scarred. I dont know if it was out of comfort or just being drilled into me, I felt the need to be physically restrained in order to go to sleep. I would (and still do) rope cuff my ankles and cuff my wrists behind my back with a connecting chain.

I think I am ready to get back into the dating scene, but Im afraid this will turn off people from me. Any advice?

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 13 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    Yeah, it would be more than a turn off for a lot of people. That sort of thing would be a dealbreaker for me.

    I think you should consult a mental health professional about this issue.

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    • Cuntsiclestick
      4 years ago

      Same.
      I'm not trying to hurt you, Op, and I'm really sorry, but some people who haven't resolved their past trauma and still carry that baggage aren't ready to date. I've talked to people like that when I went out on dates, they dumped their trauma on me, and it was a dealbreaker for me.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Thanks for the advice. I was looking for someone covered by my helathcare and got overwhelmed by the lack of choices.

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      • RoseIsabella
        4 years ago

        You're welcome.

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  • Ellenna
    4 years ago

    It's not uncommon for women (don't know about men) who've been abused to find comfort in acting out being controlled, including if they've been sexually abused at a young age, when pleasurable as well as unpleasant sexual feelings have been aroused in someone too young to deal with them.

    Acting out powerlessness when in fact one does have control and the choice to stop waht's happening at any time can be very empowering, provided it's totally consensual and with someone who is trustworthy and respectful of boundaries.

    However, seeking out such experiences with strangers or unsafe partners is not safe or healthy, but OP is describing activities she does alone and unless she's uneasy about that I don't think it's necessarily unhealthy.

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    • BleedingPain
      4 years ago

      Have you had experience with this before?

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      • Ellenna
        4 years ago

        Yep, both in fantasy and in reality

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    I don't know what to tell you. Bondage is hella hot in my opinion, so the fact that you are into that is something I would like, however, I have doubts about your emotional health. And I would want you to seek help from this first before getting into other serious relationships, and most sensible guys would probably want the same.

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  • brutus
    4 years ago

    Yes, that is normal.

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  • ToffeeMe
    4 years ago

    Ask for some help, health check up, mental health support so you can start life again like the way normal life should be. But I feel sorry.

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